Love & Hor ny hor ny... VERY hor ny comical thoughts...

Farking/Sex Is Good! So Fark EveryDay!

2011-05-10T09:45:00.002+08:00

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce large amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth. ( So ladies if u want to have shiny hair & baby smooth skin..........get POKED everyday! BTW I do provide 'poking' service. )

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2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. ( I suppose wild bed shacking poking will 'heal' all this problem in no time! )

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3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.( This I truly believed in as after every poking session with gf I end up half dead where as gf always said ' Some more horny!!!!' )

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4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers! ( It is 'safe' only if u do poking on the floor as I have broken my bed & even fall off the sofa when doing poking on it! Dam it is very painful if u fall on ur upright 'didi'! )

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5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. ( All quarrel & disagreement is being solved by having a poking session! If the quarrel is very serious then get ready for a very long poking session! )

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6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! ( Yes! This is very true but u will end up half dead for the guy! )

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7 Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. ( Yeah! Yeah! That is why after a long & heavy poking session I will sleep like a dead log! Oh yes! Whenever I couldn't sleep I will poke my gf! Ha! Ha! Ha! )

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8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. ( This I am not very sure..........beside what if I do most of the kissing? Like on the 'nen nen' & down there? )

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9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. ( He! He! To all my readers..........next time if u do have a humongous facking headaches just say to ur partner..........'Lets do some facking now! I have a very big headache! Instead of asking for panadol! )

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10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. ( So do u have poking session with running nose? Yak! I don't! So I think not applicable! )

There u have it! Facking everyday is goof for u & it do tend to solve most married life problem. But unfortunately for me my biggest everyday problem is MONEY NOT ENOUGH!!! No amount of poking will solve my money problem!

Old Pussy!

2011-04-28T12:12:00.002+08:00

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

5 Star Hotels! Horny Type Must Poke In!

2011-02-11T12:03:00.000+08:00

How good a hotel is are rated by ‘star’ rating 5 stars rating being the best! Which meant its facilities, services, pricing and so on & so forth must be top notch according to the fellow who does the rating!

Now yours truly being a ‘Horny Ang Moh’ also do rating for the ‘Hotel’ he poke in! According to me the hotel will be awarded a ‘star’ for having the following:-

1.Friendly ‘hotel’……………………….You feels right at home. So good is the feeling you don’t mind taking off all your cloths! That is one STAR!

2.Physical outlook of the ‘hotel’…One look will make your bro stand to full attention! One STAR awarded for superstar outlook!

3.Well equipped…………………………The best hotel will be worthless if it is not well equipment or wrongly equipped! One STAR awarded for the best equipped hotel!

4.Service…………………………………….The most important factor! STAR studded service!

5.Well kept hotel………………………..One STAR awarded for hotel which is well kept.

And now the name of the hotel which all guy must poke in is…………………

So small that it only have one tiny room! So small in fact I have to stand at all time & I cannot even bring in two big baggage which I have to leave outside the tiny room!

He! He! Guess the name of the hotel……………
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Not it is not Tune Hotel ( Yes it is very small & sometime cheap )!
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OK the name of the hotel is PUSSY!!!!!

Ha! Ha! Ha! How many of my dear reader guess correctly?

5 Star awarded for the best ‘Hotel’ according to Horny Ang Moh eh………..I meant Pussy which I have poked in shall have the following:-

Pussy that belong to a long legged slim lady- One look will make my bro stand up at full attention!

Pussy belong to a friendly lady. I have once poke in to a fierce lady……….she slapped, boxed & bite my bro.:( So of cause I ended up no poking in!

A wet & tight pussy! It is really painful poking in to a dry pussy. On the other hand hammering lose pussy is not fun at all!

Pussy which belong to a lady who really know what you want in other word she know how to ‘service’ you! Imaging her gently stroking your dick with her soft tender hand ( this is why guy always like lady with soft tender hand ) & such you dick with her soft tender mouth & roll her wet tongue all over your dick head!

Finally a shaved pussy always gets awarded with a STAR! Lady who shaved their pussy really do know how to look after themselves & rest assured that such pussy will be most delicious to be lick & ‘eaten’!

And finally one extra STAR for pussy which I poke for free!

So to all my dear ladies reader do look after your ‘hotel’ well, keep it clean & wet, regularly exercise it to keep it tight & if possible clear off all the surrounding wild bushes! Ladies you are all owner of 5 Stars Hotel! He! He! Ladies do drop me a line if yours ‘hotel’ have vacancy! I love to poke in for the night!

To all my dear readers a very big THANK YOU for poking in my horny site! Yes! It have being a long time since I last posted. Hope you enjoy the above post! Cheer to all & a belated happy CNY to all my Chinese readers & may all of you poke like rabbit this year!

I Don’t Want To Spend A Lonely Weekend………..

2010-07-27T23:09:00.003+08:00

How do you spend your weekend? Are you like me……….spending weekend cutting grass, cleaning out my untidy hut doing some simple DIY? And that is what I do during the weekend day times. As for the night I spend playing computer games or watching some boring movies. In short mostly I have a very boring weekend!

In true I never really look forward to weekend as I will be very bored! Alas this is not so for most of my friends who look forward to weekend starting from Friday night right after work. Why? Because they will be out partying with their girl friends where as for me, I will be a lonely guy. I really envy my friends who have the abilities to pick up women and flirt with women so easily. Honestly speaking, I am not a handsome fellow & neither am I rich and so maybe because of this I always feel ‘inadequate’ somehow whenever I try to attract women, especially beautiful women. Somehow I always end up behaving like a fool & maybe this scarce off the lady.

So too all my dear readers, what am I suppose to do? Any tips & suggestion will be most appreciated. I just don’t want to spend any more lonely weekends.

How Nice If I Am A Bull!!!!

2010-07-25T12:09:00.000+08:00

A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits was of
breeding bulls.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said,
"This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."

They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said,
"This bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying,
"This bull mated 365 times last year."

The wife got really excited and said, "that's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one"

The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow."

Yes! I don't mind being a bull if I got to poke a different cow/gf every day! But then alas I am just a poor fellow who only manage to have a single gf and so.................I only get to poke/fuck her every night!!! It is now getting to be very routine & very duty like! If I don't poke her it meant I don't love her & the only resting time will be when her 'aunty' cum to pay her monthly visit! He! He! I don't mind to 'curi makan lembu.........I meant ayam'! If I cam find the 'ayam' that is!!!! Please don't let my gf know Ok!

How Do U Buy Your Condoms??

2010-05-24T15:58:00.000+08:00

How do u buy condoms? U buy in pack of 3, 6 or 12? And why condoms cum in such pack? Well the following story will explain....................& at the end I will tell my readers how I buy my condoms!!

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.
" He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday,ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers,
TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.
ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....."

And so now u know why condoms cum in 3, 6 & 12. He! He! As for me I buy none of the pack because I buy in carton like buying cigarette. I usually buy in 12 boxes of condoms, 6 box of 'smooth' type & 6 box of 'rough' type. Where can I buy so much condoms? I can 't really buy it at any supermarket or seven-eleven of course, the cashier will sure gave me funny look. No I bought it at my usual clinic as it got my favorable brand ( He! He! Approved by GF! ) & most importantly the lady dispensary just gave me my condoms & no question ask although she did gave me some 'funny' look& she either pity my GF or envy her!

Now to all my dear reader.............How do u buy your condoms?

I Want To Attract Ladies!

2010-04-26T09:53:00.001+08:00

Are you a lonely guy like me? I have spent many lonely weekends alone with just my dog for companion playing computer games. This is no so for some of my friend who seems to have the power to attract women like fly to sugar. I really envy them. Every weekend they will be having a good time partying & clubbing away while I am quietly playing computer games alone in my small hut.

Why? I want to be like my friend who can pick up women like plucking apple from apple tree. I must find out why I am such a loser when it comes to me trying to attract ladies. Perhaps I should ask my friends to see if there is anything’s wrong with me physically or is it due to me being a very shy guy?

So to all my dear readers, can you teach me how to attract ladies & to all my ladies reader can you tell me what you find attractive in a guy. Thank you all so much for all your comment in advance.

Lonely….I Want To Have A DATE!!!!!

2010-04-08T10:05:00.003+08:00

Come every Friday & weekend…………..my gang of ‘hamsaplou’ ( Cantonese slang for horny ) friends will be like an expert pickup artist with so many ladies to ‘pick-up’ for their ‘ahem ahem’ weekend activities. Me………..I am also a ‘hamsaplou’, just look at my nick……….I am Horny Ang Moh, but unfortunately for me the only lady I manage to ‘pick up’ every weekend ( actually everyday ) is my one & only gf.

Why like this arrrr???? I want to meet women easily like my friends so that I can have a wonderful ‘ahem ahem’ weekend. What is it that my friend have that I don’t have?

Ok! Ok! I know they got a ‘banana’ but so do I, well maybe, are their banana are bigger than mine?

They are more handsome than me? Well I am not exactly handsome but then my gf always call me ‘big baby’ so I take that I am cute!

Is it because my friend have big car? Yes! I know that lady pick their guy depending on what sort of car they drive. Yes my friend drive sport car & executive car. But I don’t think I lose in this area, because I drive the biggest car among then! He! He! I drive a big diesel 4X4 truck! So any lady with me in my big diesel truck should feel very safe!

Is it because they are rich??? Now this I got to admit defeat. My friend got big bungalow & condominium where as for me I just got a hut, living in the countryside rearing a few chickens & growing some veggies.

So I conclude to be a successful ‘hamsaplou’ picking up ladies for ‘ahem ahem’ weekend u must be very rich! It does not matter if u r handsome or not & the size of the car u drive! I am cute & I drive a big ass diesel truck but because I am poor I got to stay alone with my chickens & I only got to ‘ahem ahem’ my gf!

So to all my dear readers, r u a successful pickup artist or r u likes me, lonely every weekend? Do teach me some of ur tips on ‘how to meet women’. Thank you very very much.

Oh please don’t let my gf know that I am dying to meet women, other women to have a very good ‘ahem ahem’ weekend! My gf will kill me!

Horny Answers 4 'Unsual' ????

2010-03-09T13:56:00.000+08:00

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR? A: It's Braille for 'suck here'. ( Hemmm.........I should have know use this 'knowledge' last time to 'suck' my gf 'nen nen' )

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS? A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.' (Now I know! Next time I should just ask gf which type of kiss she want? Normal? French? Australian? OR EXTRA SPECIAL AUSTRALIAN KISS!!!!)

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS? A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. (Hemmm........if I have kept all my used 'dom dom' it will be more then enough to make a small bicycle tire! This is because gf always prefer my 'di di undress'!!! Anyway I always deposed my used 'dom dom' in empty Maggi mee bag!)

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN? A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them. (Oh Yes! Some lady r really a hurricane when u have poke them long enough!)

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING ? A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch... (Ok! I will try to see if gf rub her eyes next morning!)

U Wash 'Didi/Poosie' First When Going 2 Bath?

2010-01-13T19:02:00.001+08:00

When you step into a shower, which part
of the body do you wash first?
Please select a body first?
A. Chest *( Nen Nen for lady )
B. Face
C. Armpits
D. Hair
E. Privates ( Poosie for lady, 'didi' for guy )
F. Shoulders
G. Others ( As in butt )

Now Scroll Down To See What Your Answer Means.

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A. Chest:
You are a practical person. Straightforward and do not beat around
the bush. To you, convenience is of paramount importance. You hate to
be distracted when concentrating and are impatient with people who
do not see things your way. A good sex partner and willing to try new
things. Your best partner in life will be those who choose D (Hair).

( I am sure most lady will wash their 'nen nen' first! I suppose 'inpatient with people who don't see their way' apply!!! )

B. Face:
Money is important to you and you will do anything to get it.
Integrity and dignity is not important. You feel that friends are
there to be used and life is one big hassle. Other people find it hard
to understand you, but you are not concerned as to what they think.
Very self-centered person. Average sex partner as too selfish and
tend to be absorbed in self pleasure at the expense of your partner.
Your best partner in life will be those who choose E (Privates)
and G (Others).

C. Armpits:
You are a dependable and hard working person. Generally very
popular person as you are very down to earth and willing to help
others. Tend to get yourself into trouble as you cannot tell whether
people are genuine towards you. Make very poor sex partners as you
are the working type with average talent. Your best partner in life
will be those who choose F (Shoulders).

D. Hair:
Artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby, but you can achieve what
most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking, but you will work
tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not
important. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic
types. Make the best sex partners as you are most willing to explore
and please the other partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best
partner in life will be those who chose A (Chest) and E (Privates).

E. Privates:
Shy type. You lack self confidence and tend to be bullied by others.
You do not have lots of friends as others find you boring and
unattractive. Perseverance is not your strength and you tend to give
up easily and at the first opportunity. However, you make an above
average sex partner. You are able to show your true emotions to very
few people. Hence in sex, you find your inner strengths. Your best
sex partner in life will be those who choose B (Face) and D (Hair).

F. Shoulder:
A born loser. You fail in everything that you do. People dislike you
and you tend to spend your time alone. Your type have been known to
be heavy gamblers and drinkers. You see the world as a living hell.
Money and power is also important to you. But your luck will always
fail you. You make a lousy sex partner. You will find it difficult to
find a partner in life. Those who choose C (Armpits) are your
only chance.

G. Others:
You are a very average person. Undoubtedly, you have your inner
strengths, but people find it hard to see. You must learn to be a little
bit more adventurous and see your potential. Deep down, you are very
like able person with very few faults. However, the key will be to
make your strengths stand out and not just hide you weakness. You
are an average sex partner. You have great fantasies about different
techniques, but unfortunately are not brave enough to try them out.
Your best partner in life will be those who choose B (Face).

So to all my dear readers which part of ur body u wash first when u go 2 bath?!!!! Ah if u want to know which part of my body I wash first, u r most wellcum to take a bath with me! But invitation only apply to ladies..............No way am I going to take a bath with any guy!!!!

I Want A Mask! Not A Condom!

2009-11-08T13:11:00.001+08:00

IRONY AT ITS BEST

A few thousands people get the Swine Flu,

and everybody wants to wear a mask.

10 million people have AIDS,

and no one wants to wear a condom.

Penis........NOT LONG ENOUGH!!!!

2009-10-26T09:18:00.000+08:00

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer. At the appropriate point in the process the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out loud as he
typed:

P E N I S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

PASSWORD
REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH !!

He! He! Those of u who work & have to log on their work station will understand that it is a real pain in the ass trying to remember the various password to use & some more have to use a combination of character, number & minimal number of combination, usually ranging from 6 to 12. Now it become a real pain in the ass when u r force to input new password every 60 days & u r not allow to use the same password ever! Oh! Yes! One of my work station impost such protocol!

So how do u over cum such rule........how about the following:-

penis1cm ( look my penis is definitely much much longer then this )
penis2cm
penis3cm
penis4cm
& so on & when u r tried of using cm u can use inches like so:-
penis1in
penis2in...........

Now some smart ass IT bugger will make such password 'illegal', u can try the following password & see if it is 'illegal':-

fuck ( follow by ur boss name/initial or even ur company name )
fack ( if ur IT bugger always poke into the net )
pussy ( u can use poosie instead )
knnccb ( if ur IT if a hokkian/hakka bugger, it meant 'fuck ur mother smelly pussy )
3278 ( if ur IT is a foochow bugger, it meant fuck ur pussy )
BloodyMary ( if ur IT bugger is a 'Ang Moh' )
FuckMU ( if ur IT bugger is a Manchester United fanatic )
FuckLiverfool ( if ur IT bugger is a Liverpool fanatic )

Well the above is just some of the 'illegal' password, do add some more in the comment!

Have a very nice day to all my dear readers! :)

12" Vs 14"

2009-09-22T19:21:00.001+08:00

Aiyoh! If mine is 7” I will be very happy already ( Hemmm! On the other hand mine could be much longer that that but it is only for my gf usage! ) ! Now u r talking about a 12”…………r u a giant or u r a wild buffalo! Come on guy I am sure most of ur average ‘equipment’ is about between 3” to 6” ( just my wild guess ) so what if I post up an entry about 12” vs 14”! I am sure u want to know how it feel like, how deep will it go, does it feel like what a 12” should or how about a 14”! The extra 2” make any different? Well first thing first……….ask any ladies?! I can assure any extra inches will make a big different & in this case the extra 2” will make a big different! Ok enough talking I will now show u the pic of a 12” vs a 14”!!!!

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There, what do u think of this! Oh! Come on my dear readers, surely u don’t expect me to post up a pic of a 12” ‘didi’ ( cock ) vs a 14” ‘didi’ now do u? Oh! Well maybe be in future post. Now this will be a post on SVS PC-12NSD sub woofer vs Paradigm DSP-3400. And as show in the pic the SVS PC-12NSD is one humungous dicky looking sub, towering over the shortish Paradigm DSP-3400.

So how is performance of the SVS PC-12NSD vs the Paradigm DSP-3400? Well I expect the SVS PC-12NSD to kick Paradigm DSP 3400 ass as it is more powerful with 325w vs 300w. The only saving grace the Paradigm DSP 3400 has is a bigger sub woofer at 14” vs SVS PC-12NSD 12”. After setting up the sub, all setting is the same except for the sub, even the setting of the two subs are the same. Test track uses are U571, Transformer, Ironman & some song. All this track are either in Dolby Digital 5.1 or in DTS 5.1.

And the finding is Paradigm DSP 3400 is a better sub when compare to the SVS PC-12NSD. The SVS PC-12NSD just can’t go as low as the Paradigm DSP 3400 & also it power output is not as powerful or as loud as the Paradigm DSP 3400 even though the SVS has a more powerful amp. Measured by SPL meter, to output at the same level, the SVS gain level has to be set higher by about 10%.

Well I am actually not very surprise as this is a very unfair comparison as SVS PC-12NSD is the entry level subs where as the Paradigm DSP-3400 is the top range of the ported Paradigm sub woofer. Now if only I can get my hand on a SVS PC-13Ultra that will be a more suitable candidate.

Now while all this performance test is being carried I did find some annoying vibrating noise coming from the metal grill on top of the SVS & also from the sub woofer itself, this happen at very high volume & I did bottom the sub on a few occasion. I suspect some lose wire inside & thus this call for an inspection inside. He! He! Oh yes! I love to open up & inspect the inside of almost anything’s ( Being a Horny fellow I feel so sexited! It is almost just like when I first open up & poke into my gf for the very first time! So I almost whisper “Come on Baby! Spray opens ur sexy leg!” Ehhhh! I meant when I unscrew the few screw to open up the SVS PC-12NSD. )!

Opening the SVS is a simple affair just 10 screws & I am done! Oh! I have to open up from behind, I meant underneath as I can’t took out the plate amp ( SVS has the weird idea of using a square hole screw to secure the plate amp, yes it can still be taken out but a bit of a bother so just taking out the sub woofer is easier. )

The above pic shown the inside of the SVS PC, notice that I have to put the up-side down SVS on a sofa cushion so as not to damage the metal grill which incidentally can't be taken out as it is being glue to the body. The material of the cylinder itself is made from a sort of high density paper pulp well that is what it look like to me, the base is made from laminated plywood. Without the heavy sub woofer, the SVS 'body' is not very heavy.

Now this is how a SVS sub woofer look likes & it is very heavy. Notice the heavy double magnate. This sub woofer oozes high quality & power. On its own without comparison to the Paradigm DSP 3400 (whose sub woofer is even bigger & more impressive) the SVS PC-12NSD will beat most other similarly priced sub woofer. Oh yes the ratting sound is being solved as I just position the sub wire so that it don't touched the inside wall. The grill rattling is still that, but not that noticeable unless the volume is really crank up.

Do I like this SVS PC-12NSD? Oh yes! For its price & performance but I don’t like it finished! The ‘high end fabrics’ carpet like material covering the body of the SVS PC-12NSD, love to attract dust & even a few hairs! On most other sub woofer cleaning is just a simple affair using a damp cloth, but for SVS PC sub woofer u got to use a vacuum cleaner!

Also using this carpet like material as covering, the SVS PC sub woofer look more like those use in car sub woofer. This somehow ‘lower’ is ‘value’ as a top grade home HT sub woofer. In fact when I proudly show off the SVS PC-12NSD to one of my gust……………his first remark is what the hell r u doing putting a ‘drum’ ( apparently ‘drum’ is a cylinder sub woofer used in car ice system……..typically found in a ‘Ah Beng’ car ice! ) in ur living room! Luckily only one such remark from this fellow who is into car ice, while most of my gusts marvel at such a sub woofer.

Well I took the liberty to ‘install’ the SVS PC-12NSD in my car & also my 4X4 & boy it did look good & very much at home! Now that is one very versatile sub woofer! If I do get tired of using it as my home HT sub woofer I can always took out the plate amp & sub woofer & in its place a high end car mono block amp & car sub woofer & it performance will be awesome! Well if the SVS PC sub is to be finished in shiny Piano black this option as car ‘drum’ sub woofer will be out, but then in my opinion it will surely enhance it ‘value’ as a top quality HT sub woofer!

Since I got two sub woofers on hand I might as well set up my HT system to 7.2 & that really rock! It is now like a war zone whenever a bomb goes off, the floor, ceiling, table vibrate & even my ball feel it! Oh yes! 7.2 rocks! The SVS PC-12NSD wills not performance like the Paradigm DSP 3400 but it sure did compliment it! So if u do find this post too 'horny' u r wellcum to poke in here, a more 'normal' version.Oh yes here are my previous ‘review’ on the Paradigm DSP 3400 here (horny vision) & here.

'Nen Nen' ( Breast ) Being 'Played' Everyday!!!

2009-09-10T08:50:00.000+08:00

You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter ..

The interview was as follows:

The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"

The farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

Reporter (obviously embarrassed) : "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information.. but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"

Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

Reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"

Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day ... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?"

The program was never aired ......

And now to all my lady readers.............Will You Get Mad If I 'Play' With Your 'Nen Nen' ( Breast ) Everyday But Only Poke You Once A Year???

10 Types Of Ladies! Which Types R U?

2009-08-03T10:38:00.001+08:00

there are 10 types of girl in this word, how? just check it out.

No.1 hard disk girls:
'' she remember everything FOREVER ''

No.2 RAM girls:
'' she forgets about you, the moment you turn her off ''

No.3 CD rom girls:
'' she is always faster and faster ''

No.4 windows girls:
'' every one knows that she can't do anything right, but no one can live without her ''

No.5 multimedia girls:
'' she makes horrible things look beautiful ''

No.6 screensaver girls:
'' she is good for nothing but atleast she is fun ''

No.7 internet girls:
'' difficult to access ''

No.8 server girls:
'' always busy when you need her ''

No.9 e-mail girls:
'' every ten things she says, eight are nonsense ''

No.10 virus girls:
'' also knowns as WIFE when you are not expecting her, she comes,installs herself and use all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose something, If you dont try to uninstall her......... .....you will lose everything.

So to all my dear readers which types of ladies r u & for the guys which type of gf do u have?

Sexerise! For Better Health & Burn Calories!!!

2009-06-17T09:48:00.000+08:00

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent - 12 Calories
Without her consent - 2,187 Calories

I know as I have try to 'rape' gf & removing her cloths is a real pain in the ass.............now I understand why a lady takes ages to get dressed!

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands - 8 Calories
With one hand - 12 Calories
With your teeth - 485 Calories

I have no try my teeth before but with more practice u will get the hang of it.

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection - 6 Calories
Without an erection - 3,315 Calories

This I have no idea as it is my gf who dress my 'bro'! And with practice she is now quite good in condoming up my cock!

POSITIONS:
Missionary - 12 Calories
69 lying down - 78 Calories
69 standing up - 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow - 216 Calories
Doggy Style - 326 Calories
Italian chandelier - 2,912 Calories

Try all the above except the 'Italian chandelier'..........Actually I have no idea what style is that & beside peasant fellow like me don't have any chandelier just cheapo flo lamp! But I can say try banging for 20 minutes in any of the above will make u sweat like a wild boar in heat!

ORGASMS:
Real - 112 Calories
Fake - 1,315 Calories

So far all is real for gf...........Hemmmmm maybe because of this she didn't look too tired whereas for me I am all wet as to make her cum I have to work real hard!

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging - 18 Calories
Getting up immediately - 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately - 816 Calories

No really applicable for me as I do sometime get out of bed to have a few puff after a good banging sexerise!

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years - 36 Calories
30-39 years - 80 Calories
40-49 years - 124 Calories
50-59 years - 1,972 Calories
60-69 years - 7,916 Calories
70 and over - Results are still pending

This I am not really sure as a good blow job will get my 'equipment' all charged up in no time!

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.. - 32 Calories
In a hurry - 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door - 5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door - 13,521 Calories

This is not applicable to me as so far I never get dressed after banging my gf & so far I have only bang my gf.............He! He! Maybe next time I bang some other lady & try?

Results may vary! So to all my dear readers, what do u think of the above? Have u try it out?

OH BTW THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!
Right now, as you read this,
69 Million People are having SEX ! He! He! So R U banging ur gf/wife now? Or r u still on ur computer reading my crappy entries?

Darling 'U R Beautiful'!!!???

2009-06-03T13:15:00.000+08:00

I am being 'force' to say 'Darling U R So Beautiful' even if she is so ugly ( Now tell me how can u say a lady is beautiful when she put on her 'beauty mask'??? ). To all my dear readers surly u do ask ur hubby/bf how beautiful u look after u just have ur hairdo don't u? Yes! This is the most common time when a lady ask this question ' How do I look? '!!!

Trust me on this I know! And my answer is 'Honey! U look fantasTIT! Shall I 'poke' u now?!!!' Last time I use to answer back 'Aiyoh! Why spend so much on ur hairdo? What u spend on ur hairdo can pay for the whole month living expenses! Yah Lah! Of cause u look beautiful after spending so much!' And the result from this remark is 'NO POKEING for the whole week!!! & my gf will be sulking for the next few days!

Now read the following & read my ending:-

Telling your wife she's not pretty may soon be an offense

By MUGUNTAN VANAR

KOTA KINABALU: A husband telling his wife that she is no longer pretty in an attempt to humiliate her can be classified as an emotional violence offence if amendments are made to the Domestic Violence Act (DVA)1994.

The plan is to amend the DVA for the inclusion of a clause on emotional violence against women.

Currently, they are only protected only against physical abuse, Women's Development Department director-general Datuk Dr Noorul Ainur Mohd Nur said.

She said on Wednesday that the aim for proposing the amendment was to safeguard women both physically and emotionally.

Dr Noorul said emotional violence was a form of abuse that would deeply scar a woman and lower their self-esteem, dignity and self-confidence.

“It could be a case where her husband tells his wife she is ugly or humiliates her until she feels emotionally pressured,” she told reporters at the end of a seminar on how to curb violence against women at Wisma Wanita here.

She added they were in the process of bringing the proposed amendments to Parliament.

State Community development and Consumer Affairs Minister Datuk Azizah Mohd Dun closed the seminar organised by Sabah Women’s Affairs Department.

Azizah, in her speech, said that there was a need for the law to protect emotional violence against women.

Now due to this I have no choice but say 'Honey U R So Beautiful'! I am a poor fellow I cannot afford to be sue by any ladies up-side down & in-side out!

Oh yes, I do believed ladies need 'protection' against 'emotional violence' but how about us guy? Don't we need 'protection' too? What will happen if the following happen?

My gf scream at me 'U r really useless! Good for nothing buffalo! Not! U r not even qualified to be a buffalo! U got such a short DICK!!!& it is SOFT too!!!' Now tell me my dear readers will I be 'emotional raped'??? Can I sue my gf? Where is my recourse? Where can I get help & heal my 'emotion'???

So tell me, my dear readers what is you opinions?

P/S My gf is really 'beautiful' ok...............& He! He! The above 'conversation' never did take place ( I hope it never will! ) & please I don't not qualifiel to be a 'buffallo'!

On Heat! I Am On Heat!

2009-05-15T09:27:00.000+08:00

R u on heat? By this it normally meant u r real horny...........ready do to poking ( fucking ) or to be poked if u r a lady. Well I am a real horny guy, well online that is ( in real life I am a very boring fellow ) so I am on 'heat' most of the time, every ready to poke into any available 'hole'!

Nah! This post is not about 'on heat'...........it is about real heat. It is so damn hot lately. The weather is like going on heat wave. So very very hot! So to all my dear readers what do u do in during this hot weather?

Take a bath! That is what I do as taking bath is the cheapest meant to keep cool. But it is like taking a 'hot' bath instead as the water is also 'hot'. So right after bathing I am all in sweat against!

Switch on air-con! Well for most people but poor bum like me can't afford the electric bill, so only switch on air-con if bathing method fail.

Take off all your cloths! Wear nothing! Now that is what I do! He! He! Of cause I can do this as I leave in the country side with no neighbor around. Wow! It feel real nice to go about naked, it feel real windy & nice 'down there'! Now how nice that will be if we didn't discovered wearing cloth.

Now this should solve my 'heat' problem except it made me go on 'heat' instead! Now seeing me going about naked in the house make my gf real horny & of cause she fondle & play with my 'bro', that make me go on 'heat' mode so poking session started & that make me sweat all over against!

So to my dear readers all the above methods don't work for me. Any other suggestion? So how do u keep cool in this hot weather?

Hamsap ( Horny ) Joke!

2009-04-14T11:23:00.000+08:00

Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you...
It's only when u leave her a virgin.

Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!

The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!

Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?
To see if u really mean it!

Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today,
tomorrow u have to do it again.

Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.

The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!

This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the slogan: We stare because we care!

The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls.
The Lord Almighty sentenced them to: Hang Till Death !

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.

What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear?
Banana split.

What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases & if a condom blasts population increases.

Dead Cock!

2009-03-23T08:53:00.000+08:00

Take a short break from stress and enjoy this joke my dear readers. Ok, this is how it sounds like:

Judge : "You want to divorce your husband for threatening you with his DEADLY WEAPON?"

Wife : "You got me wrong, Your Honor. I'm divorcing him for threatening me every night with a DEAD WEAPON!"

Hope u enjoy this very short entry..........He! He! No much 'activities' due to 'dead cock'!!!

Farking 24/7!!!

2009-03-11T09:09:00.000+08:00

A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits was of breeding bulls.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."

They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, "This bull mated 365 times last year."

The wife got really excited and said, "that's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one"

The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow."

And that, my dear readers is the problem! Now if I get to poke different ladies every night of the year I will be farking 24/7 but alas there is not such job as a ‘breeding human’!!!

Mine's 10"! 12"!!14" OMFG!!!R U A Freak!!!!!

2009-03-04T22:45:00.002+08:00

To a lady if she hears u said:-

‘Mine’s is 10”’ she will think ‘Wow! So very BIG!!!’

‘Mine’s is 12”’ She will think ‘OMG! Really???!!!’

‘Mine’s is 14”’ She will go nut! ‘R U a FREAK???!!!!’ And for sure she will look at ur crotch & try to imagine a 14” big sausage!

Now as far as I know most ladies prefer a bigger 'didi' (cock) than to smaller 'didi'! Hence the above exclamations (Oh! Come on ladies, just be honest! Admit it! U do like a big DICK! Don’t u?)!

Well it is the same for guy……….they do look at ur crotch too! Size is important in almost every aspect of our life. In most cases it is better to have a bigger size as compare to a smaller one. Now how many of u guy do wish u have a big dick? And have u try to ‘enhance’ or ‘biggerise’ it in any way possible ( How successful is this dick ‘enhancement’ anyway? It is no like a lady ‘enhancing’ & making her boob bigger which is well advertise )? And if u does have a big dick do u ‘advertise’ it to the ladies?

And now I am proud to show u mine 10”!!!!! Not! It is a 12”!!!!!!! What! Not big enough? How about 14”!!!!!!!!!Surely this will be big enough! Now for ur information my gf is complaining every night ever since I get 14”!!!! And what more I took some picture of my humongous 14”…………………

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‘What the POKE/FUCK!!!’ ‘Where is the 14” DICKY!!!’ Now I am sure that is what u think! Ha! Ha! Ha! I am very sure I fool u! Ok! Ok! I apologize, so please forgive me & do read on this post, I promise to make it as ‘horny’ as possible! Now it get real 'horny' toward the end!

He! He! For sure I am not going to post up pic of my ‘sausage’ (It is big enough for gf or maybe too big as so far no complain from this department but she did complain about the 14”! More in later part of the post.), well I might not be a VVIP now, but what happen when I become famous or a VVIP later? I will be in deep shit if so & so Minister Of Health/or whatever is aka ‘Horny Ang Moh’ & here is his dicky pic!!!! Ok the pic is actually my sub-woofer size 10”,12” & my most recent HiFi equipment a Paradigm DSP 3400 14” sub-woofer.

The above pic the 10” Roger Sub Woofer ASB100, 12” Sherwood Newcastle SP-312W (no website available thus I suspected that it is a ‘local’ product) & 14” Paradigm DSP 3400 with all the grill off. One look & u can see that the Paradigm is special with the big sub woofer! Now u will notice the two huge port ( to let off the sound pressure & to emit low frequency sound ), it is huge so I am most worry of any mousy try to crawl in & build a nest inside & most importantly some kids poking in their small hand to see what is inside! See the increment of just 2” is huge (now just imagine a ‘didi’ size 4”, 6” & 8”, a lady will surely say ‘Oh! La! La!’ for an 8”)!

Now the above pic shows the size of the cabinet of the three sub woofer. Needless to say the Paradigm is huge! The size of a small safe, u can in fact play poker on it! Well actually the Paradigm DSP 3400 14" is the top model in the Paradigm DSP range, the other smaller model are the DSP 3100 10” & the DSP 3200 12”.

Thus to be on the safe side & to prevent any fellow poking the sub woofer & for the Paradigm DSP 3400 two huge port it will be safer to have the sub woofer grill on as show above.

The job of a sub-woofer is to produce very low sound frequency as in movie sound effect commonly know as LFE (low frequency effect) denoted by the .1 as in 5.1(5 speakers system),6.1(6 speakers system) & 7.1 (7 speakers system). This is also because more often than not, most front speakers cannot reproduce low frequency effect (40Hz & below) thus a sub-woofer is needed. Now sub-woofer got two types, passive (none powered thus need an amplifier) & active (self powered i.e. with build in amplifier).

Here is the back side view of the three sub woofer. Now u can see that the Roger ASB100 has two small ports located at the back, it is power by a 100W RMS class AB plate amplifier. The Sherwood Newcastle SP-312W is similarly power by a 100W RMS class AB plate amplifier. The Sherwood Newcastle is also a ported design sub woofer but the single 3” port is located at the bottom hence it is not shown. Now the Paradigm DSP 3400 back side look similar but it is being powered by a 300W RMS digital amplifier which is specially developed by Paradigm called Digital Sound Processor hence DSP.

Now I am sure you must have wander why I got three sub woofers. Well if u has read my previous entry of my Pioneer HT it is being purchase together as I think a 10” is good enough for me (Previously I got a Pioneer HTIB with a 6” sub woofer……….see from 6” to 10”, great improvement!) but alas it is not so when I go & listen to some other HT set up. It is very weak & when I increase the LFE (low frequency effect) of my avr (Onkyo TX-SR875) & also increased the volume of the Roger ASB100 it just cannot perform. At best it gives off Ooooomprararar! Ooooomprararar! This is badly distorted bass! I couldn’t really blamed it as it is meant to be use in a small room & not really suitable for movie use (which got lot of low frequency) as it is only good for 30Hz only, make worse by my big living room with a volume of 5000 cubic feet.

Now being a very poor fellow & think that I am a smart Alex I started to look around & though of modifying the Roger ASB 100 but then it is brand new & still under warranty thus I am most sexited when I manage to buy an ‘old new stock’ 12” Sherwood Newcastle. Well it performance is much better than the Roger ASB100 with some low frequency effect but somehow it lack the feel of the deep rambler of a good movie.

Now here comes the smart Alex in me! As show above I decided to change the sub woofer! He! He! I got a few car sub woofer to play with & try out! The pic show two car sub woofer (the original Sherwood Newcastle is on the left, also notice the 3” port) a 12” Pioneer car sub woofer & a 12” Mohawk car sub woofer. I like the 12” Mohawk, big, rugged, huge rubber rim surrounding the fiber cone (this meant it is a long throw sub woofer with good bass reproduction) & also most importantly I like the huge magnet as the bigger the magnet is, the sub woofer will be more powerful! Too powerful in fact as the Sherwood Newcastle can barely power up the sub woofer! As for the Pioneer 12” sub woofer it performs better & just nice for the Sherwood Newcastle.

And so for the next few months I am happy with my Pioneer Sherwood Newcastle Sub Woofer! Compare to the Roger ASB100 it is better, I got to hear some LFE in a movie.

Big trouble come when I got to listen to a Velodyne CHT-12R sub woofer, wow I really got to know what I have being missing………all the low rambler & low frequency effect! Damn! This started my craving for a good sub woofer for my HT (home theater)! The HiFi shop owner really try his best to persuade me to buy the Velodyne CHT-12R but since I already have a 12” sub woofer I am afraid that the effect is just a bit better then my modified 12” sub woofer. More over my living room is big so it is advisable to buy at least a 15” sub woofer.

Now a 15” sub woofer is much more expansive & in fact 15” sub woofer is normally reserved for the top range model in most bland (The Velodyne got 18” at the top model DD1218) and being a poor fellow I couldn’t really afford it. Beside there is no 15” sub woofer available for me to try it out in my small town. So it is with luck that I mange to buy the Paradigm DSP3400 a 14” sub woofer.

The Paradigm DSP 3400 is the top model in the newly launched (sometime in Jan 2008) DSP range. It is suitable for use in medium to large space up to 10,000 cubic feet. No too expensive (well I can still afford it by eating porridge rice for the rest of the year), it cost about 2 to 3 time of a 12” sub woofer in similar class. Perfect just what I need!

How is the Paradigm DSP 3400 14” vs Sherwood Newcastle 12” vs Roger ASB100 10”? Well I will give u a poking (farking) performance as comparison. I do hope my dear reader don’t mind as this is a ‘horny’ site thus in almost all entries it will be hornynise!

The Roger ASB100 is just like both virgin poking for the first time! U got to do poking & the guy get to cum real fast & the guy feel very happy & think his performance is OK. Now whether the lady has orgasm or not doesn’t really matter. She did her duties & the guy is happy even though he cum real fast! Now the Roger ASB100 perform quite well if u r not demanding & ur HT area is small in size as in a 10’ X 12’ room.

My modified Sherwood Newcastle with 12” Pioneer car sub woofer performance is just like a season couple poking on a regular basic. Both get to enjoy each other poking & both are happy with each other performance. Having a satisfied sexual work out is nice. The poking performance is better than a virgin, just like a 12” sub woofer will always be better than a 10” sub woofer in similar class.

Now for most ‘good’ guy who are faithful which meant they don’t ‘poke around’ a 12” sub woofer will be good enough! Now the trouble or rather craving set in once he got to taste & get to feel how it is like to poke a beautiful, sexy & very very sexually knowledgeable lady! Dam he got to know how a good ‘blowjob’ is like! How sexy & beautiful she is licking & sucking your ‘didi’! The taste & the smell of a clean, pinkish shaven pussy! The squeeze of a tight & wet pussy! Oh! It is like being in heaven! U feel like u want to be inside her forever!

Now that is how the performance is like for the Paradigm DSP 3400! Oh! The deep ramble, the sound pressure I feel! My sofa vibrates! My floor vibrates! It feels like an earthquake! In fact my whole house shook! The difference is like heaven & earth! Now I got to re watch all my blu ray collection! Wow! Watching movies took on a all new meaning! It is much better than going to the cinema!

As for my gf! She has being complaining every single time I watch movies since I got the Paradigm DSP 3400 (Unless I am real low on the volume now that will be a big letdown thus I only watch movie when she is deep asleep or out of the house! Sob! Sob! Sob!) because of the vibration! She says her heart can’t stand it & even her small boob vibrates! Hemmmmm maybe next time when I want to up-grade my sub against I should bring my gf along & ask her which sub vibrate her boob the most!!!! Now which sub vibrate gf boob the most……………that will be the best sub!

But then I had better not test out any other more powerful sub (The Paradigm Servo 15”, reference 15” & Signature 15” are the top sub in Paradigm, thus my 14” can be consider as the second in range. Real value for money!) as I might just get the craving to up-grade & economy now is getting shitty day by day! And so I shall be a very good boy & don’t ‘poke around’!!!

Well to all my dear readers what is your comment on the above long & horny review of my sub woofer? He! He! I do hope Paradigm don’t mind me equating their Paradigm DSP 3400 performance as a very good ‘poking performance’. Now if u thinks the above is too horny & not informative well, I do have a rather normal version here. It is different & more informative in helping you to choose the best & most suitable sub woofer. Oh do feel free to read up the link in this post as most of it are my past entries!

Free Sex!!!

2009-02-23T10:00:00.000+08:00

One day, there is a businessman who does not speak good English from China wanted to make his first trip to New York for business purpose. Apart from work, he also wanted to have some pleasure. Among the many places that he intended to go, he was very tempted to see the 'Statue of Liberty'. Hence, he tried to get details from the yellow pages and got the telephone 6662613.

The next day, he was very excited and wanted to see the statue. He then called a taxi. Having problem with his broken English, the following was his conversation with the taxi driver:

Driver: "Where would you like to go, Sir?"

Man: "FREE WOMAN" (direct translation from Mandarin of Statue of Liberty)

Driver: "What? Sir, this is America, nothing is free here."

Man: “How come? But I saw it in the yellow page. Here, I have the number, SEX-SEX-SEX-TWO-SEX-ONE-FREE (instead of Six-Six-Six-Two-Six-One-Three!).

Driver: " ?? ......

I am sure my dear readers that u r aware that all sort of ‘translation got lost’ when direct translation from English to Chinese. He! He! Just a ‘horny’ example!

Pokeing (Fucking) Kaw Kaw 2night! Valentine Night!

2009-02-14T12:38:00.001+08:00

While most of us will be having Valentine dinner, Valentine walk in the park ( I use to do that long long time ago trying to steal to kiss gf on the pretax that it is Valentine Day while all the mozzy is having a great time sucking out both our blood!!! ) & I do believed for the guys u will be try ur best to POKE the ladies while the ladies will hope that the guy will buy u a ‘diamond’ rings ( 99.9 % it will be fake diamond unless ur bf is dirt rich ) instead of just sending flowers, now am I correct or not? Well I will be doing the following:-!

Yes! I just bought 3 boxes of condom! Yes the sale girl gave me that ‘dirty’ look & this time she even rise her eye brow! Hey! This are for Valentine Night! First thing first………..I will take a very long bath cleaning myself inside out especially my ‘equipment’ ( Aiyah that is my ‘bro’ lah ) after that I will give my 'equipment 'one finale cleaning using liquid soap! As for gf I am sure she will shave ( Aiyah no need to ask where she shave lah!.........But if u want to know poke in here! ) herself clean using my shaver! After that I will make sure my Pokeing room is free from any mozzy ( It is most terrible to discovered that while u r pokeing ur gf half a dozen mozzy are also pokeing u & gf sucking ur bloods! )! Hemmmm maybe on the other hand I might just poke my gf in the living room! Well depend on the mood Ok!

Anyway I shall poke kaw kaw tonight! Well to all my dear readers what is ur plan 2night!

Condoms Buying!

2009-02-13T08:58:00.001+08:00

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,

"What are these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....."

Now to all my dear readers…………How Do U Buy Condoms? In 3,6 or 12??? Well as for me I buy in box pack of 18….usually buy 3 boxes at one go! The sale girls always give me a funny look whenever I pay for the 3 boxes of condoms! I really wander what she is thinking! I do hope it is
‘Wow! This is a real STUD!’ & it is not ‘Poor girls!’!!!

Firework & Economy...............

2009-02-09T14:28:00.000+08:00

Today marked the end of Chinese New Year celebration ( 15th day ) & so gf is busy preparing foods, not a very grand affair just on moderate scale. Hemmmm!!!! This year CNY 2009 it seem is on a 'moderate' scale too.

Take for example the letting off of firecracker, at the started of CNY, firecracker will be let off all over the town, so it will sort of like 'competition' to see who set off the loudest firecracker & who stay the longest. This is the usual scene for the past few years.

But this is no so for CNY 2009 :( In fact the firecracker last for just 15 minutes for the whole town! The shortest I have seem! This is bad, without firecracker CNY lost all its identities & it just show how bad the economy is. I am not really surprise as buying firecracker is not a cheap affair. With so many people losing job, buying only the necessities is a must.

Well as for me I never buy any firecracker as I am a 'poor' fellow & also because I am a 'chicken' when it cum to lighting up a big firecracker. Anyway CNY 2009 for me is celebrate on a very moderate scale. I didn't do much visiting & also not many people visit my humble house. I believed it is due to the bad economy & also due to the rainy weather.

To all my dear readers, how is your CNY 2009 celebration?

Cock Sing Fuck Chai!!!

2009-01-25T12:45:00.001+08:00

It is that time of the year against................Yes! It is Chinese New Year! And in another 11 hours time all the Chinese will started the count down to mid-night, getting ready to light up all the firework & praying to the 'fellow up stair' for POKEING SAKE DON'T RAIN!!!

Well not much of a problem for me as I don't play any firework ( too poor to buy & also too 'chicken' to light it up ) so rain or not I don't really care. But if it did rain, and most probably do & it will not be a noisy affair................Which is not good for me as even though I don't light firework but I do have my own unique 'count down'!

About 40 minutes before I have started my CNY count down..................with gf!!! He! He! Shall I say 'poke down'( to all my new readers I usually refer poke as to fuck )!!! It is after all 2008 ( Chinese calender ) & so foreplay will be a elaborate affair leading to a good poke to wellcum a good 2009! And so my pokeing shall started leading to an 'explosive' cum at the midnight! Now this will be good if it is all noisy as by now gf will be screaming her head off!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! What a big wellcum for 2009!!!! So care for a second round???!!! Well that is what I plan to do every CNY but to date it is easier to say then done..........it is near inpossible to cum at the exact midnight! So far it is either to early or late when I cum! Damn !hope I do it this year!

And to all my dear readers who is still reading my cocky post...........I wish u all a very Happy & Prosperous Chinese Year & expecially the Prosperous part as economy is no so good.

Big Nen Nen (Breast)!!! Slow Down & Look!!!

2009-01-14T09:45:00.000+08:00

Have a look at the following video clip....................What say u??? BTW this is NSFW ( not safe for work ) especially if your boss is a very 'holy' bugger!

Now if the above is implemented in 'bolehland' I am very sure the traffic accident will be greatly reduced! I will cumfirm that I will in fact stop my car completely as I want to examine the 'nen nen' closely!

He! He! To all my dear readers what say u!!! Wishing Happy & Prosperous Chinese New Year to all & please drive carefully & slowly when 'balik kampung'! This is also why the above measure need to be implemented to reduced traffic accident due to speeding!

Best Deal Of The Year! Free Of Charge!!!!

2009-01-08T10:22:00.000+08:00

Look at the pic! See it is free! Free CREMATION ( Burning of body until only aches )! Now normally it cost quite a lot just to burn death body.

He! He! The above service I don't know if it is extended to Chinese New Year or not. But in this bad economy time I am not surprise to see many 'sale promotion' extended 'due to popular demand' ( Which in most case meant NO Demand! )!

To all my dear readers I do hope none of u take up the above offer! Wishes all my dear readers Happy & Very Prosperous Chinese New Year! So sorry that I miss posting up a 'Ang Moh' Happy New Year as I am too tired 'pokeing'( fucking ) gf from 2008 to 2009! :)

Sexy Pic! Have A Look & Ans 2 Questions! ( NSFW )

2008-12-09T13:33:00.000+08:00

Have a look at the following pictures! Now look carefully & answer two simple question at the end of this post!

Wah! See this sexy lady! Big 'nen nen'( breast ) & long sexy leg! Wah skirt so short!

Now look carefully! Did u see what I see???

See! This car seat can be adjusted if u got long leg!

Dam! How can I concentrated on this car! Wow! Now to all my dear reader! DID U SEE WHAT I SEE!!!

Nan! Another close up view! If u cannot see what I see I think u better have your eye checked!!!

Ok! Having look at all this above nice picture, please scroll down & answer two simple question!

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Question 1! Tell me what is the color of the panty the lady is wearing!

Now did I heard u say meat color or did I heard u say THE LADY IS NOT WEARING ANY PANTY!!!!!

Very good! The answer is the lady is NOT WEARING ANY PANTY! Now u know why at every motor show u can see photographer laying on the floor taking 'underside' photo!

Question 2! Tell me what is the color of the car she is modeling?!!!

What??? What color arrr??? Aiyoh! U don't know the answer arrr??? Ok u are allow to scroll back & have another look & at the same time have another look at the lady poosie!

He! He! Now to all my readers who are working today can go back to work! To those who are no working or no longer have a job you can have a few more look or can read up all my 'horny' post under 'horny' label just to cheer up your day!

Remember sooner or later you can find a job! It will not rain forever, the sun will cum out someday! Have a very nice day & do comment on what is the color of the car! :)

This is why!!! Horny's Explaination!!!

2008-12-01T15:38:00.001+08:00

One day, a plain-looking man came with a pretty-looking OL (Office Lady) to the LV store.He chose a bag worth Rm5k for the OL. When it came time to pay, the man took out a checkbook and wrote out a check. The salesperson was hesitant because the couple hadn't shopped there before.

The man discerned what the salesperson was thinking and he said calmly: "I sense that you are concerned that this check may bounce, right? Today is Saturday and the banks are closed. Let me suggest that I leave the check and the handbag here. When the check clears on Monday, you can deliver the handbag to this lady. How about that? The salesperson was reassured and gladly accepted the suggestion. In addition, he waived the delivery charges. He promised that he would personally make sure that this gets done.

On Monday, the salesperson took the check to the bank. The check bounced! The irate salesperson called up the client, who told him: "What is the big deal? Neither you nor I have suffered any loss. Last Saturday night, I went to bed with that girl already! Wow I have a fantastic time farking her! Oh, by the way, I thank you for your cooperation."

This story reveals the nature of the sub-prime mortgage crisis. When people have high hopes for huge future returns, they lower their guard about the potential risks. This pretty girl thought that the Rm5K bag was going to come home on Monday, and so she lowered her guard. Therefore, she believed that her investment in the ONS (one night stand) was worth it even though it was based upon huge and highly uncertain risks.

Investment companies are great with packaging high return (but high risk) deals. The Chinese stock speculators are like this pretty woman. As such, they deserve to lose money. Without people like these, how are people going to make money from the stock market? As for the media and the stock analysts, they often play the role of the salesperson.

And now who are the people who do the farking? Well if u do make some money out of the share market then u r the one doing the farking! He! He! But if u didn't get out the market with the earning u will be farked by now. The funny thing about share market is that every buyer expect whatever share that he /she buy will appreciated in prices so can sell at a profit, whereas every seller will hope that whatever share he /she sell will depreciated in price so that he/she can buy back the share! So u tell me who fark & who get farked???!!!

Oh by the way, for the guy please don't use the example above to get a free fark & for the ladies don't spray open your sexy leg just to get a LV handbag ( Ok! Ok! I know ladies no so cheap, that LV bad is just for example only. On the other hand I am available for farking! Aiyah economy very bad earn some 'pokeing' money is alway good! )!!! Remember no free lunch!

Bigger Is Better!!!

2008-11-23T18:25:00.002+08:00

Ask any ladies which want she want? For sure she want bigger wan! A big guy & a small guy……..for sure a lady will choose the big guy (Usual reason is they feel very ‘protected’ with big guy!) Hemmmm!!! Maybe they assume that a big guy got a big ‘didi’ (cock) also, which in most case is true but not all cases (Well I do know that some sumo have short & tiny ‘didi’ as compare to their body size)! Beside body part a lady will always want anything else big! For example guy with big car, house, salary & big wallet!

As for the guy, not much better! A guy too want anything else big well almost everything like for example almost every guy want to have a gf with big ‘nen nen’ (breast) but not a big gf like for example ‘ang moh’ (European)size gf………….simple reason, all guy assume that a big lady must have a big poosie! Now this is the big different between the ladies & the guys! No guy will want to have a big poosie!

Well I am a normal guy so of cause I also want ‘bigger’ things! No! No! No big gf for me as I too assume big lady must have a big poosie! So how about 14.5kg heavier, 15mm wider, 36mm higher, 106mm deeper & 210 watt more powerful! So in other word bigger in all sense! He! He! I am not talking about my gf!

This is what I am talking about! The Onkyo Tx-Sr875! Yes it is a big ass av receiver when compare to my other av receiver the Pioneer Vsx-917s (my review lah so very safe to click on the link as in all the rest in this site! Very safe wan! No ads!). I have to change my Pioneer Vsx-917s to Onkyo Tx-Sr875 is all because of my Panasonic Blue Ray player! The Pioneer Vsx-917s got everything a av must have except if u r watching blu ray, this is because it cannot decode Dolby TrueHD, Dolby Digital Plus, DTS HD Master Audio & DTS HD High Resolution. All this new audio code is only available in a blu ray disc.

The above two picture is a comparison between the Pioneer Vsx-917s & Onkyo Tx-Sr875 & u can see how heavy the Onkyo is in the second picture! So how is the performance of the Onkyo? Very good as compared to the Pioneer I must say I am happy with it. It got so much more function & setting and so is it sound production. I must say it is compatible with my Panasonic Plasma Tv Full HD TH-50PY700H & my Panasonic Blue Ray player DMP-BD30 using Panasonic Viera Link, no ‘handshake’ issue (some other av receiver have such issue which result in no picture when HDMI connection is used).

Connection is done by using HDMI cable, Panny blu ray HDMI out to Onkyo HDMI in (it got 4 HDMI in so I got plenty of future HDMI connection to made) & then Onkyo HDMI out (only one HDMI out, the newer Onkyo Tx-Sr876 got two) to the Panny Plasma Tv, all very neat & tidy at the behind, only one in & one out for the cabling.

Beside this, Onkyo Tx-Sr875 has the abilities to up-conversion all video to 1080p signal. This meant u can even use a normal DVD player which output video signal in 480p to 1080p using the on-board HQV Reon-VX chip (this chip is much better than most av using Faroudja chip). Since I am already using a Panasonic Blue Ray player which output video at 1080p via HDMI (1080p can only be out put via HDMI) this up-conversion is not being use. I did however test it out on Astro signal using s-cable connection (Astro signal suck big time when view on big screen due to its low resolution), 480 to 1080 & I do notice that picture quality is slightly better which is not a surprise as ‘garbage in garbage out’ also apply here,well maybe a slightly better ‘garbage’. Anyway I didn’t use this connection as I considered it a waste to switch on the Onkyo just to watch Astro.

So far only good stuff, any bad stuff about Onkyo Tx-Sr875? Well I do have a very big complain! This bugger runs very hot! As in hot enough to cook my nuts! Yes it is that hot! Since I don’t have an air con in the living room I am most worry that the Onkyo will cook itself!

I solve the hot issue of the Onkyo by doing a simple DIY! As show in the two picture above I just make use of two 5” cpu casing fan to cool the hot receiver. I make use of a phone charger which supply 3.6v of power, it is enough to power the two 5” fan connected in parallel so that it run silently (normally 12v is used but in this case the two fan will be running at full power & hence very noisy) yet it is enough to cool the Onkyo receiver……..from about 65c to just about 43c.

Up-date.6-6-2010

I have 'up-grade' the two 5" cpu cooling fan to two 8" lap-top cooling fan. Some more the two new fan cum with 'bling bling' blue led! Look very nice & cool. The two 8" fan is source from two lap-top cooling fan as shown in the picture. I use just one mp3 usb power to power it. Before u buy similar lap-top cooler make sure that its 8" fan can be detached as some cannot be detached.

Well the above is just a very brief write on the Onkyo Tx-Sr875. Actually there is much more then that but then this entry will be very very boring & dry. More detail can be found on my other site (not very horny) here.

He! He! Sorry arrr to all my dear readers who expected to read about a ‘horny’ entry (He! He! Did I get your attention on the first two paragraphed) but instead end up reading a Onkyo Tx-Sr875. Anyway I hope u enjoy reading it & please do comment & don’t be shy!

The Banana Test

2008-11-12T10:45:00.000+08:00

Please take the following test to check how stresses are you....

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals.

King Kong, an Ape, an Orang Utan and a Monkey pass by.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

Think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds

Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer is:

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Orang utan = you're sick,

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Ape = you need a break,

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Monkey = worse, you suppose to be in the hospital right now..

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King Kong = I think you better take 1 year leave.........

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Why?! ????.......

A Coconut tree doesn't have bananas!

Obviously you're stressed and overworked.

Take some time off and relax! He! He! I assume all my dear readers are still working & still having a job. Well if u r now 'enjoying a very long leave' ( unemployed due to the fark up world economy ) well just enjoy & get ready & recharged yourself for yours working life.

Eat Full Nothing To Do!

2008-10-30T17:55:00.000+08:00

So can answer the following question?

Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing mind ( I assure all my readers are ‘normal’ people ).

They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time, but instead, answer each of them immediately.

OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's)

First Question:

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are ; ; ; ;WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??

You're not very good at this, are you?( Do u feel that u r not very clever now? )

Third Question:

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.

Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30 . Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10 . What is the total?

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Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe...

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is Mary! He! He! Did I get u on this? Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to Redeem yourself:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

Show some action???

Not lah! It's really very simple. He opens his mouth and asks for it...

Does your employer actually pay you to think??

If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test! It will be terrible to let them know they actually employed a ‘monkey’!!!

He! He! To all my dear readers now back to work! ( If u r still working!!! ) :(

Which One To Poke ( Fack )???

2008-10-21T11:12:00.000+08:00

Mass wedding! How any of u do mass wedding? I am sure those who do it because it look 'glamorous'! But I think the real reason is it is much cheaper! Having mass wedding over here is not much for a problem but what if u decided to have an Arabian wedding? Look at the following pictures:-

Arrival of the bride!

Ehhh!!! R u my bride arrr???

Wah laueh! Which one arrr???

R u really my bride? Cum let me kiss u!

Dam! Now which one of u r really my bride? Oh! Never mind I suppose! I will just poke in & worry about pokeing the wrong bride later!

BTW I got the above pic in my email, don't know if the real owner of the pic allowed or not ( don't know whose is the real owner ) but if objected then I shall be most happy to remove this post. Thank u in advance & to all my dear readers, have a very nice day!

I Will Post Up Ur NUDE Pic If U Don't......

2008-10-13T00:11:00.001+08:00

Cum! Let me see ur 'didi' ( cock )!!! Wah! So big arrr??? Ehhh! How cum ur 'didi' head so black in color? Ok! Just let me take a pic ok! Aiyah for 'remembrance' mah!

Hemmm! Wah u r real wet down there! Let me seee! Let me seeee! Wah ur pussy! So red & wet aarrr! Let me lick it! Oh! Let me take a pic! U r so sexy!

To all my dear reader, has the above happen to u? Well may be not exactly as the above scenario but do u have ur 'down there' pic taken! Ha! Ha! If u have ur 'down there' pic taken then read the following:-

Mum threatens to post nude pics

ST CHARLES (Illinois) - A WOMAN is accused of badgering her teenage daughter's ex-boyfriend with hundreds of e-mails and text messages and threatening to post nude images of him on the Internet unless he started seeing the girl again, a prosecutor said on Wednesday.
According to a Sleepy Hollow police officer's sworn affidavit, investigators began looking into the matter Aug 21 after the 13-year-old boy's parents reported that he had received hundreds of threatening e-mails and text messages from the woman, the Daily Herald of Arlington Heights reported.

The parents told police that the boy and his 13-year-old girlfriend had exchanged nude photos of themselves over their cell phones and that after the breakup, the girl's 42-year-old mother threatened to post the boy's pictures online unless he reunited with her daughter, the newspaper reported.

Police are pursuing counts of intimidation, harassment and child pornography possession in the case, according to the newspaper.

Investigators are analyzing cell phones and computers seized from the girl's home and school.

Kane County State's Attorney John Barsanti said that no charges have been filed and that the case has been turned over to a unit of the state's attorney's office that handles Internet investigations.

He called it 'an odd situation.' -- AP

Ha! Ha! The above happen if ur mummy have the pic! As for daddy I am sure u just keep quite! Now what happen if ur ex bf threaten to post up ur nude pic? I am sure u will be in deep shit! Hemmm! As for the guy I am sure u don't give a damn if ur gf post up ur 'didi' pic! But then I sure don't want my 'didi' pic in the net........well as long as it don't show my face then I don't give a damn also! He! He! But I do mind if it can indicate that it is my 'didi' with my face on it!

How can I face my female colleague who will say 'Oh Horny ur 'didi' like that arrr? Hemm ! Better then my hubby I suppose!'!!!

Well!??? To my dear readers what is ur comments on this???

May I Poke (Fark) U? How To Say??? Pic Included!!!

2008-10-05T20:55:00.001+08:00

Warning! The following picture is not safe for small kids ( Parents if ur kids happen to poke into my site by mistake, please don't 'thiu' me inside out & upside down! )! How many of u guy want to poke ( fark ) a lady but don't know how to say so? Ok! Ok! U can say the directed way ie. 'May I Poke u!!!'..........If the lady is the 'open' type she may say YES! But in most case u will get a big slap in the face! Trust me I have try before including saying I can see ur nice 'nen nen' ( breast ) in this post!But don't worry I have found the solution! Just bring her to have a walk in the following park!

Nice park to go in! Notice the small statue on the way in?

See the nice sign post?

Close up of the sign post! Hemmmm!!! Very good!

Now look at all this big 'cock' satatues! U can say to ur gf 'my cock' is like those!

Oh! Look at those nice naked lady! Good! Have a look at the statue in the lake? Pokeing upside down!

Another look at the leg!

Hemmm interesting!

Ah! But this want is much better! See u can ask ur gf to tied a ribbon on ur cock! Now this is the perfect 'cock' love by all ladies! 'Mushroom' head! It will give her maximum pokeing pleasure ( Now if ur 'didi' is not like that.....just lied to her ok! Poke in see later! )!

Which type u want! I am sure all ladies will love to drink the water from the right one!

Pokeing through the door! Who say if a lady cannot poke in a locked room!

Another look at pokeing through the door!Ah! U can ask ur lady to do this to u! Don't worry! Tell her u will wash ur 'didi' (cock) with detol soap then follow by the most expensive shower gel ( Washing detol will make ur 'didi' smell like medicine! Surely a lady don't want to eat a banana which taste like detol! Shower gel much better! Smell very nice! ) !

Well if u got two ladies with u u can say 'Want to try this?' But for heaven sake make sure u r strong enough!

This want much better! U can do this at home sitting on the sofa! But make sure ur 'didi' is strong enough for her 'rocking' action!

Wah laueh! If ur gf is a big amazon lady..........u will be like that poor men!

Wow! So very nice! She enjoy it so much that u get a kick in ur face ( Yes! My face do get kicked also! )! Make sure u r strong enough to carried her!

This type everyone can do lah! Both can enjoy 'kaw law'!!!

Well before u & gf leave the park one more big cock to see! If ur gf love ur cock so much she will climb up & have her photo taken!

Well? To all my readers if u want to do pokeing but feel very awkward to ask, then a visit to this park is needed! First poking session is always the hardest! He! He! Unfortunately this 'pokeing' park is in Korea, so any of my readers going to Korea? Do visit the park & post up ur pic! Oh! I am most willing to go to visit this park but I am a poor fellow.........so any sponsorship is most wellcum! I can do all the position shown plus extra! Oh before I forget I accept sponsorship from ladies only! He! He!

A-Style Or Doggy-Style???!!!

2008-09-30T14:53:00.000+08:00

Look at the pic & tell me what u see? Aiyah I am not talking about Rossi winning the Japanese Motor GP & also winning the 2008 Motor GP Championship. Look carefully! Did u see what I see?

If u have being watching Motor GP u might have notice all sort of advertisement display around the race track & also on the podium. Well most look attractive & colorful but recently I notice one rather ‘unique’ advertisement!

He! He! It is call ‘A-Style’! It logo is ‘unique’ to me! Just a Big A with two dot on the left side. But to me it looks like two guy farking doggy style! It look like two guy to me as the fellow bending down don’t have any ‘nen nen’ ( breast )!

Now tell me my dear readers, look at the above pic carefully at the background advertisement, don’t u think ‘A-Style’ look like ‘Doggy-Style’??? O I do hope I don’t get into trouble from ‘A- Style’ by this post!

Horny Site Secured???!!!

2008-09-27T19:58:00.002+08:00

Difference between http:// and https:// IMPORTANT information!

Very important...........must know..........

Dear friends

I never know, that is why I never pay online, now I know. If you already know, share with friends who not know.

Best regards

The main difference between http:// and https:// is

It's all about keeping you secure HTTP stands for HyperText Transport Protocol, which is just a fancy way of saying it's a protocol (a language, in a manner of speaking) for information to be passed back and forth between web servers and clients.

The important thing is the letter S which makes the difference between HTTP and HTTPS. The S (big surprise) stands for 'Secure'.

If you visit a website or webpage, and look at the address in the web browser, it will likely begin with the following: http://. This means that the website is talking to your browser using the regular 'unsecure' language. In other words, it is possible for someone to 'eavesdrop' on your computer's conversation with the website. If you fill out a form on the website, someone might see the information you send to that site.

This is why you never ever ever enter your credit card number in an http website!

But if the web address beg ins with https://, that basically means your computer is talking to the website in a secure code that no one can eavesdrop on.

You understand why this is so important, right?

If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card information, you should automatically look to see if the web address begins with https://. If it doesn't, there's no way you're going to enter sensitive information like a credit card number!

So now I do check if the site got https:// when I poke in my personal information like for eg how long or big my 'didi' is? Sorry urs truly is too poor & stupid to know how to do other online stuff! Oh! I just discovered that this site is no 'secured' luckily I have not post up my 'nice' picture ( My 'didi' picture for eg! )! I will be in deep shit if gf find out about it!

So to all my dear readers please don't post up 'sensitive' information in the net!

Horny & Amazing Mind!

2008-09-22T21:10:00.000+08:00

I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

To my dear readers, can u read what I have written??? Well I am not only ‘horny’ but I got ‘amazing’ mind tooooooo! Aiyah if still cannot make head or tail what I have written well the following is in 'plain' English!

If you can read this, you have a strange mind too. Can you read this? Only 55 people can. I couldn’t believe that I could actually understand what I was reading. The phenomenal power of the human mind, according to a research at Cambridge University, it doesn’t matter in what order the letter in a word are, the only important thing is that the first and last litter be in the right place. The rest can be a total mass and you can still read it without a problem. This is because the human mind does not read every letter by itself, but the word as a whole. Amazing huh? Yeah and I always thought spelling was important!

So now can understand? Well I actually got this in my 'horny' mail. The part in 'plain' English is your truly translation.

Where Do U Keep Ur Comdom??

2008-09-15T20:30:00.000+08:00

I was a very happy person & also a bit 'horny'. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating & pokeing ( farking ) for over long long times already and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister ( actually much more then that like what about fussy in-law, money & so on & so forth ) .

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less & may be not panty too & I didn't see any VPL ( visible panty line ). She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

I opened the door and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!'

And the moral of this story is:

'Always keep your condoms in your car'

And now for the truth, nothing but the truth! In real life the above don't happen & my gf don't have any sexy sister & over here all ladies dress up like a mummy! I am very sure if it is comfortable to wear two undies they will do so! So forget about having nice 'nen nen' to look at!

As for condom!? Who the poke put condom in their car? As for me I have a condom in my wallet just in case my 'pokeing service' is needed when I travel outstation & more importantly it make my wallet look fat ( poor fellow like me have thin wallet )! Now in the above case if I am invited to 'poke' in, I will lose no time to take off my pant! Condom is not needed!

So to all my dear readers ( including my lady readers ), where do u keep ur condom?

Types Of 'Nen Nen' & 'Didi'! Which Type R Yours?

2008-09-11T12:38:00.001+08:00

The family is sitting at the dinner table.

The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of 'nen nen' ( breast ) are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well son, there's three kinds of 'nen nen'.
In her twenties, a woman's 'nen nen' are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them, and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how many types of "didi" ( cock ) are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his 'didi' is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his thirties & forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree??"

"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

To my dear readers which type of 'didi' or 'nen nen' u got?

Pictures Of Different Types Of 'Didi'!!!!

2008-09-08T20:28:00.000+08:00

Warning! Not suitable for young girls & 'holy' readers! If u do look at the pictures don't 'thiu' me kaw kaw! The following pictures of different types of 'didi' ( cock ) is strictly for the guys to have a 'comparison' to their own 'didi'! And for the more 'outlooking' ladies u can roughly have some ideas how different a 'didi' can be!

Scroll down to have a look! He! He! Nice 'picture' need scrolling!

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Ok! Ok! Here it is! Thra ra ra!!!

The Russian! Thick & big! Just what most big Russian ladies like!

The Indian! Can move like a snake wan! This type also ladies like! Got movement 'inside'!!!

The Egypt ion! Not sure if their 'didi' is so crocked!

The American! Just like the gun they like to carry!

The African! Long and thin! Alway getting in their way!

The Chinese! Wow! So strong arrrr??? Why do u think Chinese like to learn 'Qin Kong'???

So to my readers, there u have it! Which type are yours? To my lady readers, which type u like? Not sure then u can try all the different types!

Ladies! Please Wear This!

2008-09-03T18:53:00.002+08:00

Warning! The following is pictures NOT suitable for kids & 'holy' reader! After looking don't 'thiu' me 'kaw kaw' OK! Well have a look anyway if u must!

Well? How was it? Have a few eyeful? Good! All the above are Japanese lady! Very daring & sexy hor!!! Actually all the above pic are Japanese wearing skirts with specially printed 'panty or butt' pic!

Now will any of my lady readers willing to wear such skirt? STRICTLY NOT FOR GUYS! DON"T WEAR IT!

Handporn Service As In Marriage Life!!!

2008-08-30T14:55:00.002+08:00

How many of my readers are married? Still undecided ie 'part toll' stage? Still 'available' ( this is a polite way to say NOBODY WANT ME!!! & I suck in 'chasing' lady! )? Or r u the 'being there done that' stage ie divorce & now enjoying the freedom! Well sooner or later we go through the following:-

Life before marriage is HOTLINK

' u can express ur self '. ( Ur bf will never say 'No'!!! All can do wan! This is the time for any lady to 'squeeze' their bf kaw kaw for their $$$! )

During honeymoon is TMTOUCH

' Always get in Touch '. ( Of cause! All the time touching wan! Pokeing is never enough! Anywhere & anytime can do pokeing! )

After Honeymoon is MAXIS

' Wherever u go ur wife network follows'. ( I am sure all my married readers have to do regular 'reporting' expecially when going outstation! All 'activities' must be reported! And this 'activities' will be cross-checked by the 'Home Minister'!!! )

After one year Life is DIGI

' ur wife can change ur life '. ( He! He! By this time the thought of 'pokeing' her is unbearable! Yes! Ur life have certainly changed! Not more 'drinking' session & 'talk cock' session is ancient history! Dam! Why did u get married in the first place?!!! )

After 10 years Life is CELCOM

' Subscriber is not reachable '????????? ( He! He! Maybe! )

Well to my dear readers, which one r u in??? Well as for me I am in all the above plus one more that is 'Line is NOT register' or popularly call 'Pangiran Tidak Dalam Di Perhimatan'!!!

Ang Moh Vs Chinese

2008-08-21T20:48:00.000+08:00

Blue --> Westerner

Red --> Chinese

Opinion

B: Talk to the point

R: Talk around the circle, especially if different opinions ( For eg. If I want to poke u, will I say u r pretty lah, clever lah & all sort of nonsense! I will never say 'ur place or my place'!!! I did that once & get a slap instead! )

Way of Life

B: individualism, think of himself or herself.

R: enjoy gathering with family and friends, solving their problems, and know each other's business ( Very Keh Poh wan! For eg. whose daughter get poked or whose son make whose daughter big tummy everybody known. In my area whose chicken died people also know wan! ).

Punctuality

B: on time.

R: in time ( How many of my readers go to work 30 minutes before working-hours started? I bet most of u arrive 2 minutes after working-hours started, finding parking space is the usual excuse! ).

Contacts

B: Contact to related person only

R: Contact everyone everywhere, business very successful ( This wan is almost the same as 'kay poh', more contact more 'stories' to share! Nothing to do with business wan! ) .

Anger

B: Show that I am angry.

R: I am angry, but still smiling... ( Beware! This is very true! The chinese has a saying 'Smiling face got hidden dragger'! )

Queue when Waiting

B: Queuing in an orderly manner

R: Queuing?! What's that? ( Anything that is free for eg. free food during food fair u can see people surrounding the store! )

How to spend Sundays

B: Enjoy weekend relaxing peacefully.

R: Enjoy weekend in crowded places, like going to the mall. ( This is 'relaxing ' according to the Chinese! )

Party

B: Only gather with their own group.

R: All focus on the one activity that is hosted by the CEO.( After that on the food! The most expensive food like lobster! Forget about the fries mee or kiew teow! After the food the next focus is on any 'Leng Lui' ie sexy pretty ladies. No lady....MILF also can! )

In the restaurant

B: Talk softly and gently in the restaurant.

R: Talk and laugh loudly like their own the restaurant. ( The richer they are the louder the voice! Or they try to appear as very rich! )

Traveling

B: Love sightseeing and enjoy the scenery.

R: Taking picture is the most important, scenery is just for the background. ( This wan very important so that they can go back home & show that they have visit such & such places! )

Handling of Problems

B: Take any steps to solve the problems.

R: Try to avoid conflicts, and if can, don't leave any trail. ( This wan is very clearly shown in meeting especially with Boss. How to solve problem, everybody bow their head & worse still started pointing fingers at each other! )

Three meals a day

B: Good meal for once a day is sufficed.

R: At least 3 good meals a day.( Good meal meant at least 2 vegy 1 meat & 1 big plate of rice! In between got lots of junk food too! )

Transportation

B: Before drove cars, now cycling for environmental protection.

R: Before no money and rode a bike, now got money and drive a car. ( The bigger the car the better! Big 4x4 is the best! Toyota Ninja King is the favorite! )

Elderly in day to day life

B: When old, there is snoopy for companionship.

R: When old, guarantee will not be lonely, as long as willing to baby-sit the grandkids. ( So have more grand children is good! It also meant their son/daughter is 'productive'!!! )

Moods and Weather

B: The logic is, rain is pain.

R: The more the rain, more prosperity. ( During house moving if it rain that meant got lots of monies falling from the sky! )

The Boss

B: The boss is part of the team.

R: The boss is a Fierce god.( Someone terrible, horrible & vegetable! To be avoid at all cost! )

What's Trendy

B: Healthy Asian cuisine

R: Expensive Western cuisine. ( The more expensive the better! Don't care if it is steak from a 'mad cow'!!!)

The Child

B: The kid is going to be independent and make his/her own living.

R: Work, live and all for the kids, the center of life.( The Chinese work their ass off for their kids future! )

The above are the 'normal' differences! Below are the different of the 'horny' types:-

B: Pokeing is a pleasure!

R: Pokeing is a 'duty'! ( See what happen if after 1 year of married, still no children! The in-law will be screaming blue murder! Something must be wrong! It is the lady fault! )

B: Blow-job is part of pokeing!

R: Huh??? What is bj???!!! Wah so yucky! Not can do!

B: Licking a lady's oyster is also part of pokeing!

R: What???!!! So yucky! I can't imagine ur 'down-there' when 'aunty' cum visiting! Yuck!!!( Some ladies don't like to be licked 'down-there' too tickerish!)

B: Shaving 'down there' is normal! Beside a shaved poosie made licking more 'yummy'!!!

R: What! Shave my 'down-there'???!!! U so crazy arrr!!! ( Some Chinese do shave nowadays but not so popular yet! According to ur truly 'un-official' survey. To my lady readers how many of u shave ur poosie? Ur comment as autonomously is most wellcume! )

B: Pokeing is a success when a lady have orgasm.

R: Huh? What 'orgasm'??? I did cum didn't I???

Well that is all the different I can think off. To my dear readers feel free to add some more.

I Lick Ur ‘Nen Nen’( Breast ) U Check Mine ‘Didi’ ( Cock )!!!

2008-08-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

The no.1 lady killer is ‘nen nen’ cancer, this wan is old news lah! Almost every lady know wan but going to be a no.1 killer for the guy is ‘soft didi’ or better know as erectile dysfunction which is ‘soft didi’ to me! According to a recent new report if guy cannot get his ‘didi’ to stand up he will die as this show that he got weak heart!

Wah lauehhhhhhh!!! This is very scary! But to my dear readers I will now teach u how to check if u have ‘soft didi’ for the guy & ‘nen nen’ cancer for the ladies.

Ok for the ladies according to the doctor u must exam ur ‘nen nen’ in circular motion when u r having bath & check for hard or lumpy part of ur ‘nen nen’. This method is good but I got even better method as I use the most sensitive part of out body to exam your ‘nen nen’! No! No! I am not using my ‘didi’s head’ to check ur ‘nen nen’! Althought that part is very sensitive but it is too sensitive! No! I will be using my lips to rub all over ur ‘nen nen’ & also my tongue to lick it to check for an lump or hard patch in ur ‘nen nen’! After my ‘nen nen’ licking any abnormally will be detected! It is perfectly normal if the whole ‘nen nen’ get firmed up!

For the guy one sure way is to watch ‘nice’ movie ( blue, xxxxx rated ) & see if ur ‘didi’ get hard or not! If still no reaction then watch the ‘nice’ movie & listen to the movie in 7.1 surround sound! What! Still no reaction arrrr??? Then u have to ask ur gf to ‘play’ with ur ‘didi’ & balls also with her soft & tender hand ( Most lady have soft & tender hand unless ur gf is a butcher! )! If still not reaction then ask her to give ur a good bj ( Those without a gf u can still have a bj provided by an ‘ah kua’, only Rm10.00 as informed by my friend! )! Wah if still no reaction then u better quickly have ur ‘didi’ exam by a doctor!

This is a life & death situation so I think it is most appropriated to apply ‘I lick ur ‘nen nen’, u check mine ‘didi’’!!! Oh! To all my lady readers I do give free ‘nen nen’ licking! Sorry guy I don’t do ‘didi’ sucking!!!

Women According To..................

2008-08-11T14:18:00.001+08:00

According to a 'Math Nut' a women is the following:-According to 'Physic Freak' a women is the following:-
To a 'Tax Butt-head' after being 'hen-pecked' by wify a women is like the following:-
To a 'Control Nut-head' a women is like like the following:-
And now according to 'Horny Ang Moh' a women is like the following ( Pic Is XSX ):-

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My gf control my 'didi' so in effect she control my life!!!

Men In A Women!!!

2008-08-05T18:50:00.002+08:00

Believe it or not.
Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr . in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....

Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:
MEN tal illness
MENstrual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HIS terectomy.

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

So to all my dear lady readers, r u very happy?

To the guy................We can alway say to a lady.................

'It is so nice to go Home! So Please Spray Open Your Leg!!!'

Ahem Ahem Sound In 7.1!!!!

2008-08-04T10:28:00.001+08:00

Watching movie without sound is like drinking coffee without sugar. Taste bitter & yucky! Watching movie without sound is so not enjoyable! It may have the best picture quality but u will be left wandering what the movie is about, u may spend most of ur time guessing the storyline & this made the watching movie a very lame experience!

He! He! I admit I am a very shy & timid fellow & so I am scare shitless whenever I watch scary movie! To make it no scare at all I just ‘mute’ all the sound effect! So how about watching ‘nice ahem ahem movie’ in 7.1 effect? All the ‘Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!’ in surround sound??? The sound effect is so good & give watching ‘nice ahem ahem’ a total new sexperiance ( I am very sure the whole neighborhood will think I am a very good poker! )!

Previous in this post I blog about buying a kick ass Av receiver ( Audio visual receiver )…..well this is what I end up with. A Pioneer VSX 917s including a pair of Pioneer MS700F front speaker, Pioneer Ms700Cs center & surround speaker 3 units & Roger ASB100MKII power sub woofer. Plus a pair of Panasonic sur speaker ( This is needed as the original Pioneer Av package is a 6.1 system. ). This made it a full 7.1 system.

My Pioneer Av receiver, in the box & ‘exposed’. He! He! Look like quite a lots of stuff. In fact all together 4 boxes.

Picture show the free 3m HDMI cable, digital/optical cable & one roll of 100m cheapo speaker cable. It is considered cheapo as I can’t afforded to buy Monster speaker cable which is very costly ( 15m Monster cable cost Rm399 compare to my 100m Rm170!!! ).

Setting up the Pioneer VSX 917s is a simple affair. Pic show the acoustic mic ‘detecting’ & setting up the 7.1 speakers. The mic is included together with the Pioneer VSX 917s. I use a stool as that is roughly where my ears are.

Pic show the OSD ( On Screen Display ) of the system manual with the auto sound detection & setting in action. The Av receiver output a series of signer & it is finisher in about 8 minutes. When all this set up is going on u have to be as silent as possible. He! He! In my case I do this when gf go to bed, or else she will be making all kind of noise!

Here is the overall pic of my Av system including the right & left view of the surround speaker.

2 HDMI input & 1 HDMI output is available but it is only for switching purpose only, no up-scaling of picture or decoding is done. As such no connection is made through HDMI. The only only connection I use is through digital connection for DTS/Dolby sound decoding.

Over all I am quite happy with the sound effect at least when compare to my previous HTiB system. At least the ‘ahem ahem sound’ is much louder & have better effect. Sound from DVD movie is very good especially when having DTS signer. Listening to music thought the USB pen drive is good.

Any regret? Considering what I pay I should be quite happy but then I am a ‘fussy’ fellow. In my opinion the front speaker is farking ugly & traditional looking. I will have prefer a ‘modern’ looking wood color speaker. I will have prefer a black av receiver ( only got silver color ) as all my HT system is in black. It is very hot Av receiver! I think it is hot enough to cook my ball. But the most regret I have on buying this Av system is that Pioneer VSX 917s cannot decode the latest Blu-ray sound code like DTS HD or Dolby True HD. This is because I have a Blue-ray player. But then such av receiver will be very very expensive.

The other disappointed I have is with the performance of the Roger power sub woofer. It is simply nor powerful enough, perhaps my living room is too big? If I set the input to high level, the effect is just more low level bass. Not earth shacking effect at all.

Hemmm! I am really not very happy with my HT sound system but as they say 'If U pay peanut u will get monkey!' So to have a kick ass HT sound system I suppose I must spend Rm20k, not 15% only like what I did on this system. Next on the manual will by the source of my HT system.

Hair 'Down There'! Very Clear View!!! 50” Vs 32”

2008-08-01T00:08:00.004+08:00

I forgot to mention in my entry ‘Pokeing sight’, one method on how I chose TV….. is 'If I can see hair very clearly than that TV is a good TV'! He! He! By hair I really meant hair, could be the hair on the face or the ‘hair down there’!!!! This is possible when I watch ‘ahem ahem’ movie. Oh yes! I use this method on my Samsung 22” wide screen LCD PC monitor; so far I am very happy with my choice. As mention in this post my 34” Samsung Flat TV has gone ‘kaput’ so no choice but to look for new TV. U can see how much I suffer in this entry!

Finally my TV arrived! It is one big ass Panasonic TH-50PY700H Full HD ( High Definition ) 50” Plasma TV! Ok! Lets me post up what this baby can do & show!

Plasma Panasonic TH-50PY700H in the Box. U can compare it to the LCD Panasonic 32” TX-32LX75M box. Oh! The box only contain the plasma TV. The pedestal is in a separated box ( The pedestal arrived much later, in fact two weeks late! Can see but cannot use! No pedestal, so left it in the box. That is why I can take the box pic together. Yes! The big box contained the plasma inside! Still 'virgin' from Japan! ). The LCD Panasonic 32” TX-32LX75M is actually ‘loan’ to me by my friend who is a Panasonic dealer while I waited for my Panasonic TH-50PY700H to arrive from Japan ( My friend is dam good in ‘securing’ this deal! I have no choice but to buy from him! He! He! I didn’t pay any deposit at all. All depend on trust. ). Yes! It is ‘Made In Japan’! Oh! This is why I can made comparison of LCD vs Plasma ‘performance’ ( This comparison is a bit unfair as it compared the lowest model against the top model in the Panasonic flat panel TV range. But then I do believed against any LCD the result will be similar. )!

Two back side views of Panasonic TH-50PY700H. Notice the three build in fans at the top. The fan are like those found in computer psu with speed sensor. It is because of these three fans, the Panasonic TH-50PY700H don’t feel very hot at all while in operation. In fact as compare to the LCD Panasonic 32” TX-32LX75M the Panasonic TH-50PY700H is ‘cooler’! Notice that it is rather ‘thin’ in relative to the size of the whole TV, in fact it is about the same thickness as the 32” LCD. No back side view of the LCD as forgot to take.

Overall front view of the Panasonic Th-50PY700H as compare to the Panasonic 32LX75M. Well actually not much of a different except for the much bigger size ( He! He! The Panasonic fellow did say somehow the 50” plasma TV don’t really look big in my living room! I suppose my living room very ‘empty’ wan! Or maybe he want me to buy the 65"! ) . The LCD have no refection at all while the Panasonic TH-50PY700H did show some blur reflection even thought it got anti-reflection glass panel ( only for PY700 model ). But it did look rather classy with a simple shiny piano black bezel. No logo to show that it is Full HD or whatsoever.

Being a fellow with ‘itchy’ hand, I have always preferred ‘complicated’ product. Pic show the various input available on the Panasonic TH-50PY700H & the various setting on each individual input. This is a very good feature as I have always prefer individual setting as setting for Astro input is different for game input & also DVD/BD is different. Oh! U can also set & adjust the input name! A plus feature. This entire feature is not available on the Panasonic 32LX75M. Only a simple pic adjustment.

This is Panasonic TH-50PY700H showing Astro ‘Discovery’ channel. Pic is blur blur as Astro signer is in SD ( Standard Definition ) but some channel show good pic quality like Astro Awani or those News channel. Input is done using s-cable. The pic quality will be even worse if I use composite input ( yellow rca plug ).

This is Panasonic TH-50PY700H showing a screen shot of Transformer. Sorry for the lousy pic quality as I am still using my 3.2mg camera. In real life pic quality is very good, very detail pic! In fact I can see ‘hair’ very clearly ( I can see the 'hairy' hand of the Transformer soldier's wife! ) , even view up very close like 6 inches in front of the screen! This is expected as it is showing pic in 1920X1080 resolution ( So much better than my LCD which is 1680X1050 so I can see ‘hair’ more clearly on my Plasma then on my pc LCD! ) . It can supported 1080p signer.

This is the screen shot of Transformer shown on Panasonic 32LX75M. Now if u seat more than 10 feet away the pic quality is very good! Watching Astro is also very good! Pic seems clear & sharp. But that is because u r seating so ‘far’ away so any missing detailed is not noticed & because of its small screen also. Sit nearer like 8 feet away u will notice that the ‘hair’ is not so clear & it is jagged. Go nearer like just in front of the screen the pic quality is very ‘pixilated’. This is because the resolution supported is only 1366X768 . It can supported 1080i signer only ( If u input in 1080p signer the TV screen will go black! Just off & on it against! It meant it can't support the 1080p.).

Now most of the movies I watch are fast action movie, so I expect Panasonic TH-50PY700H to performed. I am not disappointed. I tested it out on Transformer, AVP2 & Ghost Raider. All action movies with some very dark scene. Pic quality is good! No blurring at all as the plasma pixels reaction time is 0.001ms. Dark scene still can show detail as the contrast ration is 10,000:1 but I think it is the plasma property which is similar to crt TV. The other factor is it has 16bits plasma panel which produce 4,096 equivalent steps of gradation ( this enable smooth pic reproduction, so that shadow is not jagged. ). He! He! Dark scene ‘down there’ is shown clearly! So of cause I can see hair!!! This is also why I want to buy Full HD plasma. Only got two choices, Panasonic or Pioneer ( Other brand only got HD ready. ). Pioneer is out as it is dam expensive! Also because of this I choose 50”.

In fact any size above 42” ( as it is in wide screen 16:9 format ) will do, so in comparison it is bigger than my old 4:3 34” crt TV. As show on the pic above, even the LCD box is smaller then my 34" TV.

On the Panasonic 32LX75M LCD the same movie is tested. Pic show the Transformer screen. On bright scene & slow action scene the picture quality is good but once it shows action, all become blur blur, LCD pixel reaction time is 0.08ms! This is even worse when it come to dark scene. All black! Now if I adjust the brightness, it all become gray! This is bad! The contrast ration is 7,000:1 but not mention is made on gradation. So with this sort of performance I cannot see any hair ‘down there’!!! All black! So of cause LCD is no suitable for me.

Something extra on Panasonic TH-50PY700H is the SD card reader, located on the lower front right panel. U can view HD pic directly once u poke in a SD card & it will light up a blue light. Since I don't have any SD card, this feature is noted tested.

Apart from this Panasonic TH-50PY700H also got PIP function. Picture In Picture enable u to watch two TV programs ( two TV tuners ) or one input movie & one TV program at the same time as show in the pic above ( As I use Asstro AV1 as the small pic & HDMI1 as the main pic. Didn't show TV channel as it is not even adjusted. ). U can even swap the pic size. A useful feature if u r waiting for some life programs to started.

Another function is PAP. Picture And Picture is similar to PIP except the pic is side by side like two TV joint together. Shown is HDMI1 & Asstro AV1 input side by side.

Panasonic TH-50PY700H can produce SRS TruSurround XT Sound which sound rather good but it is nothing when compared to a 7.1 HT sound system. It sound like Hi-Fi system with good sound field. Well it is much better then Panasonic 32LX75M.

Beside this, there is a 'hold' function! It meant it can freeze & hold any pic being shown on the screen. A very useful function ( some of the screen shot taken is done using this function ). Now if I want to see 'hair' more clearly I don't have to pulse the BD player ( Oh! I forgot to mention that I use Panasonic Blu-Ray Player DMP-BD30. Hemmm maybe because of this, the picture on the Panasonic 32LX75M is also very good! More on this in later post. ).

I am sure people say plasma TV run very hot & consume electricity, but base on my usage, the electricity usage seem reasonable as the electric meter is still going slow slow just like if u r using a refrigerator. Oh! I forgot to mention Panasonic TH-50PY700H as a power saving mode which I switch on.

About heat, the Panasonic 32LX75M is much hotter! U can feel the heat in front of the LCD scene & also the back due to back light be on at all time. When compare to the plasma, no so hot. In fact the back side of the plasma is at normal temperature, only the top part is warm & u can feel the three fans sucking out the warm air ( Poor fellow like me cannot afford to installed air-con in living room. ).

Panasonic Plasma TV TH-50PY700H seems to be more lasting & easier to clean as the front panel is made of glass. Panasonic LCD screen seem to be made of plastic sheet so care must be made so that u don’t scratch it. Hemmmmmmmm with three fans at the back of Th-50PY700H, I might have to DIY fans cleaning maybe one year later.

Life span of Panasonic TH-50PY700H is 100,000 hours against 32LX75M 60,000 hours but then LCD have no ‘ghosting’ ( image retention ) effect. So far from my research Panasonic plasma is no so prone to ‘ghosting’ so that is not so much of a problem for me as I watch lots of ‘action’ movie! Hopefully this 'investment' will last more the 30 years!

I am sure by now my dear readers u r dieing to know how much does this baby cost ( or maybe some of my readers are already dieing of boredom reading this post )? He! He! Well, with one Panasonic TH-50PY700H u can buy about 8 32LX75M!!! Retailed price is RM16,999-00. How much did I pay for it? Well I will reveal the total cost of my HT system in the last post.

Any regretted buying this Panasonic TH-50PY700H? NO! NO! NO! Spend so much where got regret wan ( Just like a married man having a very expensive, sexy & beautiful wife! Sure no regret wan! Sexy wife is a death log when it cum to pokeing also nevermind! )!

Well, actually yes! One small regretted. I am buying this Plasma now with the full knowledge that a new model will be lunch very soon, Panasonic TH-50PY800H ( I can't rejected the deal as my friend has already place the order! That is why I say he is a very good businessman! )! This new model got 24p real cinema playback( Mine don't have. But it is only applicable on BD, so still Ok to me! ), high contrast ratio of 1,000,000:1 ( OMFG! Mine only 10,000:1!!!! So do I get to see 'hair' even more clearly???!!! ), 5,120 gradation steps ( Mine only 4,096 gradation, not too much different. But I am sure can show very clear hair! ), xv colour ( Mine don't have but only applicable to BD so still OK to me. ) & 'over 900 lines moving picture resolution with 480hz sub-field drive' ( Mine don't have.Only mention got sub-field. I have no idea what this POKE is about but it sound impressive! ). Plus free 5-years warranty! This is what my Panasonic TH-50PY700H 'loss' out to the new Panasonic TH-50PY800H!

Ok! Now 'sour gape' a bit. I am a normal guy lah so let see what the new Panasonic Th-50PY800H don't have. No SRS TruSurround XT Sound. No PIP.One TV tuner only. Styling is now more simple. No more thin speaker strip by the side. No more four speaker. Audio power reduce to 20w from 31w. And the new Panasonic TH-50PY800H is lighter by 11kg!!! Now where is the weight reduction? Don't tell me the plasma panel inside is now made of plastic ( Now if the plasma panel is really made of plastic then the 'old' Panasonic TH-50PY700H is a much value buy! Plastic will not last long & subject to coloration. )! Oh! I am sure the new Panasonic TH-50PY800H don't have any built in fans ( Panasonic dealer can cumfirm or not? ).

And what happen if the new Panasonic TH-50PY800H retailed for just RM12,999-00???!!! I will be very very 'tulan' & I might just pucked off my hair 'down there' in frustration!!! Any Panasonic personnel among my dear readers? Any cumfirmation on the price is appreciated ( I don't like to pucked my 'hair' down there! Very painful wan! ) & I hope Panasonic don't mind my 'horny' review of its product!

Well I hope my ‘review’ is not too boring, next on the manual is the sound system & finally the HT source.

Shaving 4 Your ‘Up-There’ & Her ‘Down-There’ Plus Some!!!

2008-07-31T13:53:00.001+08:00

First I will like to say a very very big ‘THANK YOU’ to Spectre for your ‘handpron’ to me as ‘gifts’!!! I have always believed that if someone send u a gifts it is always good to return the favor. So after much consideration/research & lotsa of pokeing in REALMART I have decided to send u the following as ‘gift’ ( Actually I really didn’t find what I want, something really very special, yet ordinary, yet a poor fellow like me can buy! )!!!

A Panasonic Men Travel Shaver! Now this is a very special shaver! U can use it to shave off all the hair on ur face & if any other place which u consider too hairy u can also use it to shave that off also.That is ‘ordinary usage’ for ordinary fellow! But I am ‘Horny Ang Moh’ & a very poor fellow! For me everything & anything can have multiple usage ( Aiyah! U must made it ‘value for money’ mah! )!

Allow me to ‘introduce’ other usage for the above gift! U can also ask ur gf to use it to shave off all her hairy parts of her body ( I assure u have a gf, no gf??? Never mind! Ur sister or even your mother can use it too!!!)! Yes! I know there are shaver for lady but to save cost she can use your shaver ( Aiyah! Share share mah! Next time if get married everything also share share so started by sharing this first! ).She can use it to shave off her armpit hair, her hairy leg & also the hair ‘down there’!!!If using shaving cream is too expensive then can use soap, lotsa of soap! Don’t worry about electric shock, use battery so no electric shock.

Do be a man & clean up the shaver after she use it to shave her hair! Trust me on this! I know as after gf use my shaver to shave off her hair, I have to spend at least 10 minutes plucking out all those curly hair stuck between the shaving blades! He! He! But I don’t mind as she is very smooth & not to mention I have flesh ‘oyster’ for supper! Priceless!

So with this Panasonic Shaver as my gifts to u I wish that u have a smooth life just like after u & gf have a good shave! This Shaving Gift is bought by 'Nuffnang Gift Ideas Contest'!!!

What A Women Wished! Don't Play Play!!!

2008-07-29T21:15:00.002+08:00

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten."

The woman said, "That's okay." and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. "
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM! she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you ".
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM! she's the richest woman in the world.

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,
"I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you.
Stop here and continue feeling good.

Attention Male readers ONLY : Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that you women never listen!

He! He! To all my lady readers, please don't feel offended ok! A man still need a lady to poke! Well, most man anyway!

U Need A Poosie/Asshole……..For Pokeing!

2008-07-27T18:33:00.000+08:00

Unless u likes DIY or u like to be a virgin forever, a poosie/asshole is needed for pokeing. Poosie or asshole is needed as u need to poke in ur ‘didi’ for pokeing. Without a poosie that is not called pokeing. An asshole can also be used but those is not the normal case & in most case not a common practice.

Now for a complete HT ( Home Theater )system u need a source before u can started off & enjoyed the world of having a good HT system in urs own house( Just like pokeing, u need to have a poosie first before u can do pokeing & in the process enjoyed the world of pokeing! )! In most HT system a good DVD player is the beginning of a source of a HT system although any source can be used like radio, pc or even a good mp3 player but this is rare ( Just like using a asshole for pokeing! ).

Well I am a normal guy ( Just a bit more ‘horny’ then most guy! ) so I will have a DVD player as my source for my HT system. But if I am having a HTiB ( Home Theater in a Box ) then, no need to consider as it included the player as well. Now to buy a DVD I will consider the following point:-

1. The player must be reliable & most importantly must be able to play all sorts of discs. It must be able to play ‘nice movie’ which is normally from ‘china made’ ie not following any ‘international recording standard’. It must be able to play all sort of discs & not choosy. Some banded DVD player are very choosy it that it can only play ‘original’ movie discs.

2. The picture quality must be good. So in this case I will choose only DVD player with HDMI output as I will need it to connected to my flat panel TV ( LCD/Plasma which type I choose will be post up in later post ). DVD with HDMI is the way to go as it cans up-scale DVD quality to 1080p.

3. Sound output. This will depend on your sound system. Does it has 5.1 analogue input? If it does then it is better for u to look for a DVD player with 5.1 analogue output. This will not be a problem if u r using a av receiver as most have digital/optical input. All DVD players have optical output & some better one have both optical & digital output.

So buying & choosing a DVD player is not so complex & most good DVD player with HDMI output are now quite cheap. Beside DVD player u can also consider Blue Ray player. BD movie quality is much better when compare to DVD movie quality.

If u r starting off with a complete new HT system, u can consider having a BD player as more & more BD movie in now available. Besides playing BR disc it can also play back DVD & CD. In most case the DVD picture quality is much better when compared to DVD with up-scaling as it picture processing chip is much better as compared to those in HDMI DVD player.

Beside BD player u can also consider PS3! Yes! PS3 game console, besides playing PS2 game u can also use it to play BD disc. I heard picture quality is very good but I will not consider it as I don’t know if it is reliable when using it to play DVD.

So which to choose? Well I can consider a good banded HDMI DVD player ( mostly likely Pioneer as my present HTiB is a Pioneer but no HTMI ) or a BD player ( It will be super clear to watch BD ‘ahem ahem’ movie! He! He! If got ‘ahem ahem’ BD movie in the first case! ) or even a PS3!

So which will it be? It all boils down to the question of money. These conclude my DIY post on how I set up & choose my HT system. Part I ( Pokeing Sight ) & Part 2 ( Pokeing Sound ).

Pokeing/Farking Must Have Sound!!! ‘Oh! Oh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!’

2008-07-25T10:55:00.007+08:00

When u do pokeing, it is most ‘stimulating’ if your partner moan with pleasure ( He! He! Or is it with pain!!!??? ).And u can judge ur pokeing ‘performance’ by her moan & the sound she made! Or maybe she might find u very sexy when u poke in with full force while u grunt with all ur effort! The fact is, with sound pokeing is more enjoyable!

Same as watching movie!He! He! If got sight but no sound, watching the best movie with blue ray quality is also no ‘syoik’ wan! Sorry this post is not about pokeing’s sound. On my previous DIY entry, I blog about visual aspect of Home Theater System ( HT ) & so now I will blog about the audio part.

Buying a HT system is also a ‘confusing’ matter. What types to choose? Well the following factors are what I will consider:-

1.What type? 2.1 ie. Two speakers ( L & R ) plus one sub woofer. This is the basic set-up. Mostly use as PC audio system. 5.1 ie Five speaker ( L & R, LR & RR & Centre ) plus one sub woofer. Better then 2.1 system as the sound field is all surround. 7.1 ( L & R, LR & RR, LBR & RBR & Centre ) plus one sub woofer. Currently the best sound system set up as it carter to the latest sound decoding ( more on this later ). 7.2 is the same as 7.1 except got two sub woofer. It is suppose to give more ‘oop’ to your bass ( not much of a factor to consider if u have a very powerful sub woofer )!

2.What sort of movie u watch? Asstro? If u spend most of ur time watching watching Asstro programs, then u don’t even need to buy a sound system. The TV speaker is good enough. Yes, Asstro sound is that ‘normal/lousy’! If u spend most of ur time watching Korean love drama or Chinese love/family/action drama ( whole series in on a DVD ), then the TV speaker is good enough as such movie don’t have any sound effect at all. Now if u watch mostly English movie & some good quality Chinese movie with Dolby Digital or DTS sound encoded then buying a sound system is necessary to enjoy the sound effect. Latest sound effect are Dolby Digital True Hd & DTS Hd which is available only in blue ray disk.

3.Where do u watch this movie? If u watch ur movie on a Pc then a 2.1 sound system will do. If u watch ur movie in ur bedroom then a 2.1 or a 5.1 will do ( Unless ur bedroom is very big, how to have a good poke with so many speaker laying around? ). If u watch it in ur living room then a 5.1 will do or if ur living room is big then the best set-up will be a 7.1 system.

4.What type? By this I meant the sound system, as in all in one like HTiB ( Home Theater In a Box ) which is normally a 5.1 set-up. Everything is included ( except the TV ) like the DVD player, 5 speakers & a sub woofer. Very simple to set-up & quite neat & tidy. The only cons is up-grading is almost non-existing & on some cheap HTiB the sound might not be very powerful ( Perfect for small living room & in apartment/condominium ). Component system. So far the best set-up as it allows u to up-grade & in most case the sound is much better & more powerful than those in HTiB. A proper HT sound system will consist of a AV Receiver ( The most important component & usually the most expensive part! ), a set of speakers ( 5 or 6 speakers depend on ur set-up ie. 5.1 or 7.1 ) & a power sub woofer.

Now having decided on the type of sound system u think it is suitable for u, u now end up even more confuse! If u decided to set up a 2.1 system then no problem, very simple! Buy what u can afforded. If u decided to buy a HTiB also not much of a problem as u only have to decided on the ‘style’ & brand of the HTiB & of cause the price! Some high-end HTiB can cost as much as a entry level HT component system. And it sound real good, only that up-grading is non-existing. Basically just set it up & u r good to go! Now the headache is on choosing a HT component system! U have to consider the following:-

1.What type of av receiver? 5.1 or 7.1? It is much better to buy a 7.1 capable av receiver as it able to output the real surround sound as needed by Dolby True HD, DTS HD & other sound code. 7.1 is not really necessary to enjoyed surround sound but a 7.1 give a much better sound effect. HDMI ( High Definition Multi-media Interface )input? Well it is much better to have a av receiver with HDMI input plus decoding capabilities as Dolby True HD & DTS HD can only be inputted via HDMI. But at this moment of time such av receiver is real expensive.

2.What type of speaker? Front speaker is a must & you got to decided to have floor standing or bookshelf? It is much prefer to have a pair of floor standing speaker as it can really output the full range of sound, and it look much better! A nice center speaker is needed as it can produce the much need dialogs when watching movie. Surround speaker, 2 pair for a 7.1 set up or 1 pair for a 5.1 set up? If got the space go for 2 pair. It will have a much better effect. U can buy the speaker stage by stage but matching different type of speaker is a skill & so to save all the trouble u can consider buying whole set of matching HT speaker. It is much cheaper than buying separately. Do remember to set up speaker with the same impedance ie. All are 8 ohm or all are 6 ohm type. U risk damaging ur av receiver if different ohm are used.

3.What type of power sub woofer? Another headache! So many different types to consider! Side firing or down firing? To me as long as give off a nice & low bass effect good enough. Well just choose the type u like & look nice.

In conclusion it all cum down to money! How much is ur budget? Money no problem? Then by all meant go for the latest av receiver & pair it up with a good & expensive set speakers plus a big & high powered sub woofer, powerful enough to shake down the whole house! He! He! Rm 20k at least I think is just about enough to buy such a kick ass av sound system!

Now where is my Rm20k???? Where arrr??? Remember my job as ‘gigolo’ still not ‘jadi’ yet!!!! This conclude my 'pokeing sound system' next on the manual will be my 'poosie' post! Previous post is 'pokeing sight' in my HT system. He! He! Stay tuned!

This is what I end up buying, a Pioneer VSX 917s system.

DIY!!! Long Time No Do!!! Pokeing sight!

2008-07-22T19:51:00.004+08:00

DIY refer to Do-It-Yourself. Now if u r a ‘horny’ fellow ( like urs truly ) it also meant ‘Go & Fark Yourself’ that is do pokeing using ‘five sisters’ or whatever. For more detail poke into my DIY entry. Pokeing sight! Don't u think it is very sexy & most stimulating if u can see pokeing in action! I am very sure most of my readers will get a 'hard on' or get 'wet' if u watch nice 'ahem ahem' movie!

Now this entry is not about horny ‘diy’ or about pokeing action, it is about the ‘normal diy’ diy & about sight. It has being a long time since I post up a 'normal' DIY.

What happen when your TV gone ‘kaput’!!! This is what happen to my TV! One night I am watching & enjoying myself watching a very nice ‘ahem ahem’ movie! Now ‘ahem ahem’ movie usually all yellow yellow in color. When suddenly everything shown on TV turn red! If showing red poosie, then still ok to me but then it show even the ‘hair down there’ also red in color!!! Dam ! My TV gives me red color! How to see???

No choice but to buy a new TV ( This Samsung flat 34" TV very high tech wan, nobody know how to repaired it! ). This is post about TV & Home Theater ( on later post), HT for short! What to consider & what type to buy! No choice as I spend most of all my ‘non-pokeing’ time watching movie. The following is how I will choose my TV:-

1.What is the purpose of your TV?! To watch TV programs ie. Asstrow programe? Now if I spend 70% of my time watching Asstrow then buying a TV is a simple affair! Just buy any 34” flat TV will do or at the most 42” LCD or plasma TV. Anything bigger will be terrible as asstrow signer are of ‘low definition’ type ie 480i resolution ( The higher the resolution the better! Just like low resolution pic! The ‘hair’ show no clear once u zoom up the pic! High resolution pic will show nice ‘hair’ pic even if u zoom it up! ) so if u use big TV the pic quality will be bad! But I don’t really watch Asstrow, only the motor gp, animal planet ( animal pokeing ) & news ( So that I know who poke who, who is sleeping all the time or who blow up who! ).

2.What sort of movie u watch? I do spend a lot of time watching good quality DVD movie. Most of which are action movie ( ‘ahem ahem’ movie can also be consider action movie as got fast & furious pokeing action )! Because of this LCD TV is out for me, as LCD reaction time is ‘slow’ ( the fastest LCD time is 4ms, most of which is 8 ms )which is slow when compared to Plasma TV ( 0.001ms ). This is very important as when u watch fast action on LCD, due to the slow reaction time the ‘action’ will be blur blur wan! This is terrible for me! I want to see very clear ‘ahem ahem’ action!

3.Since I watch mainly good quality, fast action DVD movie it meant I will have to buy a Full HD ( Full High Definition, it meant this TV has the abilities to display resolution of 1,920 x 1,080 ) Plasma TV as I want to see the ‘hair’ clearly. HD ready ( 1,366 X 768 ) will do for me if I seat more than 10 feet away from my TV & my TV is less then 42". But then I seat about 8 feet away only & I want a big TV! So I have to buy a Full HD Plasma TV! He! He! Big TV can see much more detail mah! So no need to zoom up the picture.

4.How big??? This is a very important factor to consider! Now my formal TV is a flat screen 34” crt TV, so by right I should buy myself a 34” or bigger TV ( should have improvement mah ). But unfortunately the biggest crt TV now is only 29”. So ‘older’ TV is out. Beside this to watch DVD in high definition u need HDMI ( Hight Definition Multi-media Interface ) input. This HDMI input can support up to 1080p picture quality. Actually depend on the type of LCD/Plasma u buy. But most can support up to 1080i ( 1080 interlace ). Which is almost as good as 1080p ( 1080 progressive ). That meant only LCD or Plasma TV bigger than 34” to consider!

5.Other factors to consider are like styling & cost! Plasma is usually more expensive but will give better picture quality. LCD looks good & is usually cheaper & beside this LCD have a lots of brands to choose from. For Plasma TV very limited choice as only Panasonic, Pioneer, Samsung & LG got Plasma TV ( Correct me if I am wrong ). For Full HD Plasma only Panasonic & Pioneer got, and this cost a bomb! Beside this if u like to watch in bright place then LCD is suitable. But I like to watch movie in dim light!

Now in summary if u r like me……….like to watch good quality fast & furious movie & like to see detail, seat quite close to TV ( so can see clearly mah ) then I suppose a 42”Full HD Plasma TV will be the perfect choice for me!

But in reality the following is what I am using NOW!

A Panasonic 32" LCD model TX-32LX75M the cheapest model in Panasonic LCD TV! Well I will post up my 'review' on the performance of this LCD in later post! Oh! I have post what happen to me in this entry & this entry on my other more 'normal' site.

This conclude my 'pokeing sight' part on my HT system. I do hope this entry is of some use to my dear readers as nowadays buying a TV is a rather confusing affair! Feel free to post all yours comment & if the information here is wrong do feel free to correct me. Next on the manual is 'pokeing sound' entry!

This is what I end up buying a big ass 50" Plasma TV!

Gigolo! As A Career! Part time/Full Time!

2008-07-15T16:55:00.001+08:00

Life is getting very hard! Every thing is up! All living expenses are up! Even the price of rice is up ( Too expensive for me so I sometime end up eating bananas only! Luckily I am not a ‘rice-pot’! )! Every thing is up that is except for my salary! I must find an extra job quickly or else I will be in deep shit since I have so many monthly commitments to pay each month end!

But I am a lowly educated fellow, know ‘nuts’ about accounting, mechanical, medical, biological & so on & so forth! In short I don’t have any educational qualification ( paper qualification ). Ok! Ok! I think I might seek extra income working as an odd job man. But working as such it very tiring & I don’t think after a hard day work as odd job man will leave me with enough energy to look after my gf ‘need’ ( pokeing )! Beside all this while I have being employed in the 'service industry' so carrying garbages is out of my league.

I know what I will do! I will be a gigolo! These don’t need any paper qualification ( Even those with good paper qualification like ‘doctorate degree’ might not be qualified as gigolo! Most of this people are ‘geeky’ & lousy in pokeing! ) !

As far as I know, to be a gigolo u must understand the need of a lady & must be good in pokeing. And to be good in pokeing, ur ‘didi’ ( bro/pokeing equipment better know as cock ) must be in excellent ‘working condition’ & not too small! In other words ur ‘didi’ must be able to perform like a ‘jack hammer’ ( the roadside banging equipment used to break up rock ) so that u can bang ur ‘didi’ in full force & at high rpm ( ram per minutes ) into a lady poosie ( All ladies like some form of hard banging! )! Oh! Yes! U must be 'handsome' as well!

I think I am qualified to be a gigolo. I have being pokeing for a long long time ( Just like a pilot, the more flying hours u have, the more experience u r! And with more than 300 pokeing hours under my cock I think I am rather sexperiance! 300 pokeing hours is a rough estimate base on average pokeing session time numbers of days time numbers of years. ) so I should be good!

My ‘didi’ size should be of the ‘correct’ size, as so far gf never complain about it being small ( she always say ‘Oh! U r so big! I can feel u go so deep!’)! Banging like a ‘jack hammer’ I can do that too as I manage to break a bed ( Try to imagine a 95kg ‘jack hammer’ banging at full force! ) once due to excessive ‘ramming’ ( Since that breaking that bed, I have always prefer doing 'pokeing' on the floor! Buying a new bed is dam expensive! ) !

Of cause pokeing ‘performance’ must be of good quality ( big, hot & hard cock )& quantity ( lasting )! It will be terrible if the pokeing last for just 5 minutes! So far, on average my pokeing last for more than 30 minutes ( The longest is one & half hour & the shortest is 25 minutes! ) so I think that should be long enough but pokeing session can always be extended ( Monies is a very good motivation for extended pokeing! )!

Am I a 'handsome' fellow? Well I don't look like Andy Lau or Edison Chan ( Both handsome fellow with one fellow posting up his 'didi' pic in the internet! )! But then so far no ladies had ever say I am 'ugly', most say I am 'cute overgrowth baby' ( Whatever that meant! )! So can a gigolo be 'cute'???

As I am being engaged in the ‘service industry’ it is one of my working life’s mottoes to provide the best possible ‘service’ to all my client, that is ‘good value for money’. In order to provide the best service, training need to be attended & skill needed to be learned & up-dated.

Thus before I really get to become a gigolo I need to have ‘training’ in how to be a good ‘gigolo’! I need to learn the ‘skill’ & ‘technique’ on pleasing a lady need ( Beside this I want to know how much will a gigolo earn! Very important information! )!

This is getting to be a rather long post thus I will blog in detail ( very ‘horny’ entry 18xsx not suitable for kids & holy reader ) on my ‘training’ to be a gigolo in a follow up post.

To all my dear readers your comments are highly appreciated ( only through comments can I know my readers reaction to my horny post )! To all my dear readers u are also most wellcum to ‘link’ me up so that u can know how is my ‘training’ as gigolo going to be! In the meantime have a very nice day!

To Be A 'Stud' ( Pro Poker/Farker ), U Must......

2008-07-11T11:08:00.000+08:00

U must eat lotsa & lotsa of 'Tongkat Ali ( a sort of root ), egg & honey' only then u can becum a 'Stud'!!! This sort of food mixture is good for pokeing! Very high energy food. Now after eating such food mixture I am sure I will be 'powerful' enough to do pokeing for days! My 'bullet' will be very well stocked!

In fact I think I will be powerful enough to poke 80 ladies!!! Yes 80 LADIES!!! I am very sure after pokeing so many ladies I will be weak all over! So weak I need a week rest! Now where the hell did I get the idea? Well, read the following!

Goat stud has Dewan in stitches

A QUESTION on the rearing and breeding of Boer goats got the House laughing after a deputy minister insinuated that the “stud” or male goat was playing “hard to get”.

Replying to a supplementary question from Datuk Ibrahim Ali (Ind – Pasir Mas), Deputy Agriculture and Agro-based Industries Minister Datuk Rohani Abdul Karim said the studs for Boer goats were expensive because they were “hard to get”.

“When I first visited a goat farm, I didn’t believe it myself. I call the stud a hero. The cost of this stud is so high and sometimes, the stud can ‘service’ up to 80 goats,” she said as the MPs laughed.

Rohani said the stud would be left to rest for a week and fed with a mixture of “tongkat ali, egg and honey” during this period.

At this point, Deputy Speaker Datuk Ronald Kiandee intervened, asking: “80 female goats, right?” The Dewan erupted into fresh laughter.

Rohani then said the stud could be “loaned” to other goat farms for a fee.

Ibrahim had asked the ministry if it would probe the reason so many goat farms had failed.

Earlier, Rohani told Mohsin Fadzli Samsuri (PKR – Bagan Serai) that Malaysia hoped to achieve 35% of self-sufficiency in goat meat by the year 2015.

Now the problem is finding 'demand' for my 'pokeing service'! Well as they say any new 'service' provided need promotion! So to started of this 'pokeing service' I propose 'Buy 1 Poke Free 2 Poke!'...............'Buy 1 Free 2'!!!

Good or not??? What! Not good enough arrrr???? Ok! Ok! Like this I give free poke to any 'willing ladies' lah! And if 9 months later u have a handsome & cute baby u can give me a big 'ang pow' & maybe help to 'advertise' my 'pokeing service'!!!

To my dear readers, the above good 'business proposal'??? Honestly I need to find way of earning some extra money! Oh! For heaven sake please don't look at me like I am a good goat!

Cut Off Your ‘Didi’!!! Then U Know!!!

2008-07-10T11:08:00.001+08:00

In new today! A certain lady minister ( Sure recommended by a lady lah! ) propose that rapist will have their ‘didi’ cut off…..castrated! If they keep on pokeing into unwilling poosie! This is because raping cases is on the increased! Almost every day we can read about all this rape cases in the news. It is now getting to be a dangerous life to be a lady!

I supported the lady minister suggestion totally! Why the poke can’t people control their ‘didi’ urge? Why do they have to poke an unwilling poosie? It is because it is very nice ( Subjective, as I do find it rather enjoying when I pretended to ‘rape’ gf! Of cause gf like it as it is rough play! ) ? Or is it as they say forbidden fruits tasted nicer?

I am very sure if it is implemented there will be less raping around! I am sure guy will think twice before they do any pokeing! I am very sure they don’t want their ‘didi’ to be cut! A man ‘didi’ is a very private & personal ‘pride’ for a guy!

A guy with a small ‘didi’ will always feel ‘inadequate’; it is as if he lack something! All this is because a lady will always prefer a big ‘didi’! ‘ Oh! U r so big’!!! This is what a guy always wants to heard! ‘What the fark! U no got ‘didi’???!!!’ This is not what a guy want to heard if he get his ‘didi’ cut off when he poke the wrong/unwilling poosie/hole! Without a ‘didi’ a man will lose all his ‘moral’ support to live as a man!

He! He! In bad time or when I feel very down in life I do look at my ‘bro’ & think at least I can still poke strongly so life cannot be that bad!

If ‘cutting didi’ becum a law………….. 'Don’t Poke Poke arrr!!! Cut Off Ur Didi!!! Then U Know!!!’ This warning will be used by a lady! ‘ Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! May I poke u???? & please sign here! ’ Written permission needed before a guy can poke into a willing poosie, to prevent any blackmailing by the lady!

So to all my dear readers……….What is ur opinion?

‘Hot Bone Tea!’ Dam Hot! Good Pokeing/Farking Food!

2008-07-08T09:33:00.000+08:00

One of my favorite pass time while in KL is eating ( Apart from chick watching! )! One of the favorite dishes KL people like to eat is ‘Hot Bone Tea’ ( direct mandarin translation ) or commonly call ‘Bak Kut Tea’( in hokkien meant ‘Meat Bone Tea’ )!

Apparently there is a very famous BKT shop somewhere in Klang ( Sorry I forgot the name of the shop! ) so my friend took me to have a taste of this dish. After driving for sometime we came to the BKT shop ( finding parking space is a problem ).

We order a big serving more then enough for two. From the pic the dish look just like any ‘hot pot’ dish. Nothing special to me, just a few pork ribs, three layer meat, leafy vegy & some other stuff! We have a plate of rice each top up with fried onion ( This is the first time I eat rice top up with onion! ).

Looking is different from eating! My the food is real hot! Before long I am sweating from eating this hot dish! Helped by the hot weather! No, we didn’t eat in air-con restaurant! I actually hate eating in air-con restaurant as I can’t smoke & the food is more expensive!

Then the bill arrived! RM65.00!!! Wah laued!!! Dam expensive! I have this before the fuel increased! If I have such dish now it will properly cost RM100.00!

Well after eating such hot food, I am all heated up! I am in heat! I have to look for way to release all my heat! I have to do some pokeing!

To my dear readers do u feel the heat eating ‘Hot Bone tea’!!!

Backside Pokeing/Farking! VVVIP Sodomy!

2008-06-30T19:33:00.000+08:00

Apparently a vvvvip is doing backside pokeing ( That is pokeing ass hole! ) against! It is in all the newspaper & a good number of blogger as well! Beginning of this year there is another vvvvip doing pokeing ( But he did poke in the correct hole except he poke the wrong ladies hole! ) so I am most surprise there is another case of vvvip pokeing!

Anyway this fellow is known to like to poke backside hole or whatever the newspaper like us to believed in. What is surprising is what the poke do we have to care about what hole he like to poke in! As long as he can do what he is suppose to do then that is it then!

Anyway I have never try backside pokeing before on a lady that is ( Gf don’t allow me! Say her ass hole is full of shit & might even spoil my 'didi'! ). The idea or image of two guys pokeing each other backside is a bit too much for me! The idea or image of two guy sucking each other ‘didi’ in position 69 is terrible ( Strangely I don’t feel very disgusting if two ladies is to lick each other poosie! I find that very ‘stimulating’ & even sexy! )! I am after all a straight guy!

An ass hole is supposed to pass out shit! Not for ur pokeing enjoyment! I heard from my friend that to poke into an ass hole u will need to lubricate it before u can poke ur ‘didi’ in! And it is much tighter then the poosie u pokes into! And so it is much more enjoyable! This is what my friend told me!

Anyway, it is enjoyable to poke each other ass hole? I heard that a guy g-spot is in a guy ass hole ( Why for god sake a guy g-spot is in the ass hole? ) so a guy will get to enjoy ultimate pokeing enjoyment when he has his ass hole poked!

No! I am not going to try pokeing into a guy backside! On a lady……No problem!

How to Make a Woman Happy

2008-06-25T20:48:00.001+08:00

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend ( Women like to talk their heart out to a 'friend'! )

2. a companion ( Especially on Shopping Expedition! )

3. a lover ( Both mentally & physically more about this below! )

4. a brother ( Women can talk more freely to their brother! NOT UR 'BROTHER'! )

5. a father ( She need a fatherly figure when she is sick & down! )

6. a master ( She like to throw all her worrys & problems 2 u 2 be solved! )

7. a chef ( She want to have good foods! Quantity is no important! Quality is! )

8. an electrician ( When her hair dryer exploded u r expected to repaired it! )

9. a carpenter ( When her make-up chair broke u r expected to repaired it ASAP )

10. a plumber ( When the pipe broke while she shampoo....u know lah...)

11. a mechanic ( U don't expected her to change the wheel do u? )

12. a decorator ( U r to help her to arrange table flower! )

13. a stylist ( Agree to all her hair style by nodding ur head off! )

14. a sexologist ( For more detail see below! )

15. a gynecologist ( Don't Poke when her 'aunty' cum! )

16. a psychologist ( She is always korrect! Korrect! Korrect! )

17. a pest exterminator ( Get rid off all the rats, cockroaches etc...!)

18. a psychiatrist ( Have to know how to perform emergency 'relieved' for her! )

19. a healer ( Same a above! )

20. a good listener ( This is a 'skill' all men must learn! A lady got two 'mouth'!! )

21. an organizer ( Learn to tidy up room after pokeing session! )

22. a good father ( Take care of the kids! It is due to ur pokeing! )

23. very clean ( Wash ur 'didi' very very clean! Or else......No Pokeing & BJ! )

24. sympathetic ( Learn to say 'Oh! Sayang! Sayang! )

25. athletic ( How to have long pokeing session if u r weak? )

26. warm ( All ladies like a 'hot' didi'! )

27. attentive ( She is ur women! So u lost all ur freedom! )

28. gallant ( Try to get urself raped when a rapist threaten her! )

29. intelligent ( Try to act like a clever dim wick! )

30. funny ( Laugh at all her dull joke! )

31. creative ( Don't always poke in the same position! See below for detail! )
32. tender ( Don't poke strongly all the time! )
33. strong ( Try to have a 'strong didi' for 45' at least! )
34. understanding ( No pokeing when her 'aunty' cum! )
35. tolerant ( Try not to faint when she use up all ur CC limit! )
36. prudent ( Always approve all her spending! Women know best! Remember! )
37. ambitious ( Aim to be a manager when u r really an office boy! )
38. capable ( Try to change the light when u know nuts about electricity! )
39. courageous ( Don't cry & eat when she cook u a plate of chilies! )
40. determined ( Don't be scare of her killer dog when u visit her! )

41. true ( For heaven sake tell her u r a 'virgin' when really u r a pro-poker! )

42. dependable ( Gave her unlimited $$$$$! )

43. passionate ( See below for more detail! )

44. compassionate ( Try to cry loudly when ur in-law pass away! )

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly ( Honey U R Very Sexy! )
46. love shopping ( Very important! All guy must learn! )
47. be honest ( All her shopping r a great 'bargain'!!! )
48. be very rich ( The more beautiful the lady the richer u have to be! )
49. not stress her out ( No pokeing when her 'aunty' cum! )
50. not look at other girls ( Look at ur women only! )

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

From a true case with my gf when I forget her b-day, our ‘pokeing’ anniversaries ( Sometime too tired from working so also too tired to poke loh! ), mess up her bedroom arrangement……….I end up sleeping in the living room!

And even if u do all the above but U R A LOUSY POKER ( FARKER ) ur women will still not be happy! For more detail on how to make a women real happy do poke in my ‘horny entry’ ( Pokeing lessons part 1 to 6! Oh these entries are strictly 18xx not suitable for ‘innocent’ ladies & kids! )!

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

The rest we men will ‘do’ it ourself to make us happy ( He! He! We just need a little 'help' from the lady! )! See! So simple to make a men happy!

Horny In High Court!

2008-06-20T18:25:00.001+08:00

Mention ‘High Court’ to anyone..........the first things people has in mind is ‘WTF! U r in big shit!’( I am very sure that is what my readers think by the title of this post! )! Am I in trouble because ‘I have being looking at ‘ladies’ leg? Am I being sued by some ladies just because I have being looking at their sexy & hot leg? Well luckily not, I will be in deep shit if these sexy ladies sue me inside out & upside down!

I happen to go to M’sia high court as my friend has some high court ‘businesses’ to settle. Me being a country side pumpkin just tag along & have a visit to bolehland high court ( I am sure it is a sort of privilege as how many of my dear readers really have a chance visit to 'bolehland' high court! )!

As shown by the pic ( Sorry if the quality is poor as I use my lousy N95 handporn camera! ) M’sia High Court is a very impressive & imposing building ( I am very sure this is where part of my hard earn money as taxes gone to! )! I get to go inside to one of the counter following my friend but unfortunately the counter was closed ( Fri closed by 12.00pm ) so no choice but to look see look see. And what do I find? A bank inside the high court! Maybank! I am very sure to settle bail, summon or to pay 'kopi-O' money & whatsoever will not be a problem!

Walking around look see look see made me very tight ‘down there’! So I have to answer my ‘didi’ natural call urgently! As shown by the pic M’sia High Court toilet not bad! Quite classy like those in a 5 star hotel but unfortunately no toilet paper ( Dam! How to clean my 'didi'? )!

Well that is my first visit to M’sia High Court where I made a ‘deposit’ ( He! He! )& I hope it will be my first & my last visit! High court is not a place u visit & so don’t play play!

Horny's Maths!

2008-06-17T18:08:00.005+08:00

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Horny fellow + horny woman = Lotsa of pokeing = Lotsa of Nightmare & maybe 'forced' marriage!!!

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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Horny boss + horny employee = Lotsa of pokeing & no job done ( all done by other dumb employee! )

Horny boss + dumb employee = Free pokeing & job get done

Horny boss + smart employee = No pokeing & have to watch out for court summon!

Smart boss + horny employee = Free pokeing & still have to do jobs

Dumb boss + horny employee = Increase in salary & done litter job

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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

A horny fellow will try to get is all for free by pokeing!

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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A horny fellow greatest worry is when he is not horny!

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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

To be a happy horny fellow he just need pokeing!

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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do,

but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Horny men will live be young forever as long as they can poke & be horny!

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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A horny fellow don't change as long as he is horny!

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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

All argument will be settle through pokeing for a horny fellow!

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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Horny's answer is 'Petrol price up! Every things is up! But 'didi' no up! So how to get married!'

Wrong Hole Poked/Farked! Still OK!!! But...........

2008-06-13T19:18:00.002+08:00

Any one who do pokeing ( fu*cking ) will know that u do poke into the wrong ‘hole’ sometime either by mistake or on purpose! This is very true if u happen to poke for the first time ( virgin )! In fact finding the ‘hole’ is a problem! On my first poke I need gf to ‘guide’ my ‘bro’ where to poke his big head in!

In the sexitment of intense pokeing I do poke in the wrong hole to be protested by gf! This is no problem & no harm done!

My regular reader will know I have this huge humongous toothache problem last year! I thought I have solve the problem but no my toothache is back! I have a very miserable life! So it is back to the dentist. This time is to solve this toothache once & for all. I will have it pull out!

First the dentist injected me with something in my mouth! Dam painful! After that half of my face gone numb! Then he uses a big plier & took out my big tooth! Wah! I am dam happy as I no longer feel the toothache as my face is still numb!

Reach home! Have a rest! About 2 hours later I took out my blood soaked gauge in my mouth & have a look into my mouth!

I nearly fainted from what I saw!

That fu*cking, terrible, horrible & vegetable dentist have pulled the WRONG tooth! It is my good big molar! No wander he use a freaking big plier! With the pain killer wearing off I can now feel both toothache & pain from the newly pulled tooth!

Dam! It is back to the dentist! I want to sue him inside out & upside down! And I also want to poke all his assistances. Yes! All the three of them even if they are not my type! I am hopping mad! I am rising my voice to sky high! He ask me to wait while he do some things in his office! By now other customers ask me what is the matter! Of cause I say that fu*cking pull out my wrong tooth! Woah! The expression on all their face is awesome! All the five customers left the clinic in record time! I am sure the damage to reputation of the dentist is done!

His reason? He tries to ‘save’ my tooth which is also a molar by pulling out the inner most molar! He says both teeth will be giving me problem! What sort of freaking reasons is that!

I have no choice by to pull out the molar which is giving me hell! And it hurt like hell! It is so painful that I cry & scream! Luckily I am the only customer! Me! A very big & macho guy! What will people say if they know I cry & scream on the dentist chair? I have a sneaky feeling the dentist purposely only injected a bit of pain killer only. It is so painful that two dentist assistances have to hold me down while he pulls out the tooth! I got tears in my eye! Heck! I almost also pee in my pant! It is that painful! No wander it is one of the technique use in interrogation !

Here! Have a look at my two molar! In fact the dentist says my teeth are perfect! My toothache is cost by my swelling gum!

It has being six hours since that ordeal! Half of my face is in pain but I can bear it! It is different from toothache! From today onward my life will change forever! My eating habit will change! No longer can I eat at record time! No longer can I eat my food like ‘gentlemen’ style! I will be eating using only my left side! My right side is now useless with both lower big teeth gone. So how to chew? For this few day I will be eating soft food! Yes! Food like ‘tofu’ ( bean curd )! Oh! Well, it is back to eating gf’s ‘tofu’!

To all my dear readers! What will u do? NOW WHAT WILL U DO IF THE ABOVE HAPPEN TO U???!!!

Cry? Jump up & down? Behave like a baboon on heat? Curse until the cow cum home? Scream ur head off?...............Well I do all the above! So how about u???

The above happen on the 13-02-08! The day when our Monkey/Baboon Parliament is dissolved ( Maybe the farking dentist is so sexited about the news that he pull my wrong tooth! OMG he might even pull out all the teeth in my mouth! )! Until now I miss using my right side of my mouth. Should I use false teeth ( But I heard that with false tooth u can't even eat banana, I am afraid that when I eat my gf 'oyster' that I might left my false teeth inside her?!!! )?

Excuse! Excuse! & Horny Excuse!

2008-06-09T17:08:00.001+08:00

This is Malaysia ( Bolehland ) and you should know -

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:

Ajinomoto ( Actually for me I will blame it on being too worry! Money no enough so everyday worry! )

NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD :

Maggi Mee ( This I agree! In fact this is the only food I can cook! )

NATIONAL BREAKFAST :

Nasi Lemak ( Applicable to the west only! Over here it is 'kampua'! )

NATIONAL LUNCH :

Nasi Ayam ( Applicable to the west only! Over here it is also 'kampua'! Well to me anyway! )

NATIONAL SUPPER :

Roti Canai & Teh Tarik ( Applicable to the west only! Over here it is nasi campur! )

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:

Traffic Jam ( Nowaday I will say bike broke down! Chase by big dog! No thank to fuel price increment! )

NATIONAL CONDOM:

None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye. ( This I agree! Gf say use 'rubber' don't feel nice! Beside this I only buy my 'rubber' from my regular doctor! She know the type that I like! )

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION :

Pineapple ( This wan I try before! Gf eat a few big pineapple but where got effect? )

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:

Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything... ( This I don't know as I don't like Stout! Bitter drink! How could guy drink such drink? )

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):

Food Poisoning ( I normally say got headache! So how to work like this! )

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):

Menstrual Pain ( All the ladies use this reasons! So at month-end sure got a few missing ladies! )

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:

Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch 'Santa Barbara ', depress, no mood, etc... ( Gf normal excuse is 'aunty' is cumming! But she seldom refuse my pokeing! )

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:

None. Malaysian men never refuse sex. ( I agree with this totally! )

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :

Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are all 'dried up'. ( So far have not try! )

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:

Panadol. The 'cure for all'. If it fails we have another secret weapon - Tiger Balm. ( This I did try & it work! )

NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA :

Moh Fah Kor. ( This I haven't try as I use 'Panadol' which most of us call 'KK' pill! )

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:

Minyak Angin Cap Kapak. ( I use this also! )

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):

Happy Hours. ( Too expensive! Beside the only 'happy hour' I know is pokeing! )

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):

The sight of a police road block. ( This I don't know, but I do check on my seat belt at once! )

NATIONAL RICE COOKER :

NATIONAL Rice Cooker ( Very true! )

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:

Anywhere. As long as it is not your house. ( He! He! Very true! )

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:

Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! ( So that is how it is pronounced! )

So to my dear readers, do u agree to the above?

Suck Dry By Two ‘Girl Friends’!!!

2008-06-04T20:35:00.000+08:00

For most guy having a gf is consider a blessing! As for me………I have two gf! So I supposed u can consider that a godsend! Having a gf meant u got to have good time together, if she got ‘problem’ it is ur duty as a good bf to solve all her problems. In returned u get to enjoyed her companionship. Oh yes! U also get to POKE her! And that is the ultimate goal of every guy ( Cum on! Be honest guy! That is ur goal! Correct!? Correct!? Correct!? ) !

Well! I am a very ‘lucky’ guy! I have got two gf! I have quite proud to have two gf actually! Poor guy like me can afforded to have two gf! I took real good care of my two gf! Everyday I poke into each of their hole & give it a good twist! A few times a day! Yes they do like me to poke into their hole everyday! If I didn’t they will give me trouble & it will cause me to more trouble to please them ( I did try not to poke them for one week & in returned one of my gf refused to bring me out & I have to spend some monies to ask her out! Dam! My gf really need constant attention! )!

In most case having two gf is not a difficult jobs, it is the ‘maintenance’ part which is troublesome! Thus I am quite happy having two gf . One big & one small! Both got different character!

But all this change after listening to the news! PETROL price increase to RM2.70 & DIESEL price increase to RM2.58!!!! What the fark! Bolehland is an oil producing land! Why compared to non-producing countries? Why not compared to Brunei? How about the profit earned by the national oil company? Where did the money go? Dam! All this increased in fuel price will cause everything to go up! I am very sure condom price will go up by RM1.00 with immediate effect ( Transport changes increased mah! So did the price of rubber also! )!

Dam! Dam! Dam! Everything will go up! Fuel price increased! Fuel price increased! Increased! Increased! Everything increased! Excepts my salary! So how to survive?

Oh! U must be wandering what the fark has the increase in petrol & diesel price got to do with my two gf? He! He! I forgot to mention my two gf in this case are my two cars! A big ass 4X4 2.8cc diesel Mitsubishi Pajero & a small 1.6cc petrol Nissan Sentra! One full tank of diesel for Pajero will cost me RM237.36 & one full tank petrol for Sentra will cost me RM105.00 from now on!!!! I suppose I have to abandon my two gf!

See! Died or not? I will be suck dry by my two gf! Fuel increased! KNNCCB! Life will be very very toughs from now on! Perhaps I shall use bicycle to go to work!

Nice legs! Hot Legs! Going A-Ga Ga!

2008-05-31T12:58:00.000+08:00

Recently I have to be in Kuala Lumpur because ‘My Boss fark/Fcuk Me Strong Strong’ & ‘And Now I FarkMy Boss Back.....Literally’ & while in KL I went to do some ‘windows shopping’! Not actual shopping is being done as my pocket is quite empty.

My friends took me to some shopping mall & left me alone there while he went off to do some businesses. Apparently ‘windows shopping’ is the favorite pass time of the west. I must say it is a good way to spend one free time as there are so many big mega shopping malls.

So many things to see but in my case, can see only, not monies to buy! So after look see look see at all the interesting stuffs I got bored! Can see but cannot buy all no use to me!

So I shifted me attention to ‘chick’ watching! Whoa! I must say KL ladies really know how to dress! Dress to KILL! Hot pants & minis skirts seem to be the favorite dress code for KL ladies! No wander got so many ‘force pokeing’ ( rape ) cases in KL!

From my ‘chick’ watching session I notice one fact! Most KL ladies got very very nice & hot legs! In a few cases I though the ladies are wearing socking but upon closer ‘inspection’ they are not wearing socking! Whoa! They have really slim & long smooth legs! Not like where I cum from, the ladies over here got big & ‘hairy’ legs!

Now I really have an eye full of all sort of nice & hot legs while waiting for my friends to pick me up ( I have no choice but to wait for my friends as I don’t feel safe using taxis. ). Since the shopping mall closed at 10.00 pm I have no choice but to wait for my friend at the entrance by squatting on the entrance stair! He! He! Of cause in squatting position I got to see lots of nice legs view!

Oh! It is not my intention to squat down but my legs gave up on me as I have being wandering for a few hours. But I must say some ladies seem to enjoy showing off theirs hot legs. Yes! I notice some ladies do know that I am attracted to their legs ( Some look back at me cheekily! ). Especially those who waited for their bf at the shopping mall entrance, their bf is sure lucky!

Can see & image only. What to do, KL ladies sure got nice & hot legs! So to all my dear lady readers, how do u made yours legs slim, smooth & fair? Care to teach me some tricks so that I teach that to my gf too???

So ‘Dry’! How To Fark?

2008-05-20T21:18:00.001+08:00

Can a ‘dry’ hole be farked? YES! I am sure that is what some ‘hamsuplou’ ( horny fellow ) say! But trust me as a ‘fellow’ with some ‘sexperiance’, it is dam painful & not enjoyable! Unless ur ‘bro’ have a ‘blocked head’! So to do pokeing into a ‘dry’ pussy…..u needs ‘lubricant’!

The weather is very very hot lately! It has not rain for more the two weeks! So very very very DRY!!! So very very hot & dry that I don’t feel like pokeing at all! In fact in this sort of hot & dry weather I even feel that my gf pussy is also hot & dry ( Ok! Ok! There is nothing wrong with her pussy! Still hot & wet! It is just the farking hot weather! )! BTW I wander how do desert people do pokeing? So hot & sandy some more!

The weather is so hot that immediately after bath I am all wet with sweat against! In fact this few days I have being sleeping with nothing on! Gf have a nice time ‘playing’ with my ‘bro’ every night! But as I say, the weather is so hot that my ‘bro’ is ‘half-death’ in the hot weather! So how to do pokeing?

So to my dear readers, do u do pokeing in this hot weather? He! He! Looking at the title I am sure some of u thinks how to poke into a ‘dry’ hole! Well maybe I will blog on this subject later! In the meantime I hope for ‘wet’ weather soon! I am all ‘dry’ up now!