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To all my dear readers if u find this site too 'horny' then please poke into My Other Site where I am more 'normal!!! Feel free to poke into any link within the post as it normally led to more 'interesting' post! Rest assure it is mostly not paid post! No ads for a 'horny' blogger!!!!
Showing posts with label OGI PALAH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OGI PALAH. Show all posts

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Old Pussy!

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Sunday, July 25, 2010

How Nice If I Am A Bull!!!!

A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits was of
breeding bulls.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said,
"This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."

They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said,
"This bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying,
"This bull mated 365 times last year."

The wife got really excited and said, "that's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one"

The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow." 

Yes! I don't mind being a bull if I got to poke a different cow/gf every day! But then alas I am just a poor fellow who only manage to have a single gf and so.................I only get to poke/fuck her every night!!! It is now getting to be very routine & very duty like! If I don't poke her it meant I don't love her & the only resting time will be when her 'aunty' cum to pay her monthly visit!  He! He! I don't mind to 'curi makan lembu.........I meant ayam'! If I cam find the 'ayam' that is!!!! Please don't let my gf know Ok!

Monday, May 24, 2010

How Do U Buy Your Condoms??

How do u buy condoms? U buy in pack of 3, 6 or 12? And why condoms cum in such pack? Well the following story will explain....................& at the end I will tell my readers how I buy my condoms!!

A  man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.  Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.
" He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday,ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers,
TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.
ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....."

And so now u know why condoms cum in 3, 6 & 12. He! He! As for me I buy none of the pack because I buy in carton like buying cigarette. I usually buy in 12 boxes of condoms, 6 box of 'smooth' type & 6 box of 'rough' type. Where can I buy so much condoms? I can 't really buy it at any supermarket or seven-eleven of course,  the cashier will sure gave me funny look. No I bought it at my usual clinic as it got my favorable brand ( He! He! Approved by GF! ) & most importantly the lady dispensary just gave me my condoms & no question ask although she did gave me some 'funny' look& she either pity my GF or envy her!

Now to all my dear reader.............How do u buy your condoms?

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Horny Answers 4 'Unsual' ????

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR? A: It's Braille for 'suck here'. ( Hemmm.........I should have know use this 'knowledge' last time to 'suck' my gf 'nen nen' )

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS? A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.' (Now I know! Next time I should just ask gf which type of kiss she want? Normal? French? Australian? OR EXTRA SPECIAL AUSTRALIAN KISS!!!!)

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS? A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. (Hemmm........if I have kept all my used 'dom dom' it will be more then enough to make a small bicycle tire! This is because gf always prefer my 'di di undress'!!! Anyway I always deposed my used 'dom dom' in empty Maggi mee bag!)

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN? A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them. (Oh Yes! Some lady r really a hurricane when u have poke them long enough!)

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING ? A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch... (Ok! I will try to see if gf rub her eyes next morning!)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

U Wash 'Didi/Poosie' First When Going 2 Bath?


When you step into a shower, which part
of the body do you wash first?

Please select a body first?
A. Chest *( Nen Nen for lady )
B. Face
C. Armpits
D. Hair
E. Privates ( Poosie for lady, 'didi' for guy )
F. Shoulders
G. Others ( As in butt )

Now Scroll Down To See What Your Answer Means.



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A. Chest:
You are a practical person. Straightforward and do not beat around
the bush. To you, convenience is of paramount importance. You hate to
be distracted when concentrating and are impatient with people who
do not see things your way. A good sex partner and willing to try new
things. Your best partner in life will be those who choose D (Hair).

( I am sure most lady will wash their 'nen nen' first! I suppose 'inpatient with people who don't see their way' apply!!! )

B. Face:
Money is important to you and you will do anything to get it.
Integrity and dignity is not important. You feel that friends are
there to be used and life is one big hassle. Other people find it hard
to understand you, but you are not concerned as to what they think.
Very self-centered person. Average sex partner as too selfish and
tend to be absorbed in self pleasure at the expense of your partner.
Your best partner in life will be those who choose E (Privates)
and G (Others).


C. Armpits:
You are a dependable and hard working person. Generally very
popular person as you are very down to earth and willing to help
others. Tend to get yourself into trouble as you cannot tell whether
people are genuine towards you. Make very poor sex partners as you
are the working type with average talent. Your best partner in life
will be those who choose F (Shoulders).


D. Hair:
Artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby, but you can achieve what
most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking, but you will work
tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not
important. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic
types. Make the best sex partners as you are most willing to explore
and please the other partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best
partner in life will be those who chose A (Chest) and E (Privates).


E. Privates:
Shy type. You lack self confidence and tend to be bullied by others.
You do not have lots of friends as others find you boring and
unattractive. Perseverance is not your strength and you tend to give
up easily and at the first opportunity. However, you make an above
average sex partner. You are able to show your true emotions to very
few people. Hence in sex, you find your inner strengths. Your best
sex partner in life will be those who choose B (Face) and D (Hair).


F. Shoulder:
A born loser. You fail in everything that you do. People dislike you
and you tend to spend your time alone. Your type have been known to
be heavy gamblers and drinkers. You see the world as a living hell.
Money and power is also important to you. But your luck will always
fail you. You make a lousy sex partner. You will find it difficult to
find a partner in life. Those who choose C (Armpits) are your
only chance.


G. Others:
You are a very average person. Undoubtedly, you have your inner
strengths, but people find it hard to see. You must learn to be a little
bit more adventurous and see your potential. Deep down, you are very
like able person with very few faults. However, the key will be to
make your strengths stand out and not just hide you weakness. You
are an average sex partner. You have great fantasies about different
techniques, but unfortunately are not brave enough to try them out.
Your best partner in life will be those who choose B (Face).

So to all my dear readers which part of ur body u wash first when u go 2 bath?!!!! Ah if u want to know which part of my body I wash first, u r most wellcum to take a bath with me! But invitation only apply to ladies..............No way am I going to take a bath with any guy!!!!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

I Want A Mask! Not A Condom!

IRONY AT ITS BEST

A few thousands people get the Swine Flu,

and everybody wants to wear a mask.

10 million people have AIDS,

and no one wants to wear a condom.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Penis........NOT LONG ENOUGH!!!!

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer. At the appropriate point in the process the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out loud as he
typed:

P E N I S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:


PASSWORD
REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH !!

He! He! Those of u who work & have to log on their work station will understand that it is a real pain in the ass trying to remember the various password to use & some more have to use a combination of character, number & minimal number of combination, usually ranging from 6 to 12. Now it become a real pain in the ass when u r force to input new password every 60 days & u r not allow to use the same password ever! Oh! Yes! One of my work station impost such protocol!

So how do u over cum such rule........how about the following:-

penis1cm ( look my penis is definitely much much longer then this )
penis2cm
penis3cm
penis4cm
& so on & when u r tried of using cm u can use inches like so:-
penis1in
penis2in...........

Now some smart ass IT bugger will make such password 'illegal', u can try the following password & see if it is 'illegal':-

fuck ( follow by ur boss name/initial or even ur company name )
fack ( if ur IT bugger always poke into the net )
pussy ( u can use poosie instead )
knnccb ( if ur IT if a hokkian/hakka bugger, it meant 'fuck ur mother smelly pussy )
3278 ( if ur IT is a foochow bugger, it meant fuck ur pussy )
BloodyMary ( if ur IT bugger is a 'Ang Moh' )
FuckMU ( if ur IT bugger is a Manchester United fanatic )
FuckLiverfool ( if ur IT bugger is a Liverpool fanatic )

Well the above is just some of the 'illegal' password, do add some more in the comment!

Have a very nice day to all my dear readers! :)


Thursday, September 10, 2009

'Nen Nen' ( Breast ) Being 'Played' Everyday!!!

You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter ..

The interview was as follows:

The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"

The farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

Reporter (obviously embarrassed) : "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information.. but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"

Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

Reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"

Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day ... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?"

The program was never aired ......

And now to all my lady readers.............Will You Get Mad If I 'Play' With Your 'Nen Nen' ( Breast ) Everyday But Only Poke You Once A Year???

Monday, August 03, 2009

10 Types Of Ladies! Which Types R U?

there are 10 types of girl in this word, how? just check it out.

No.1 hard disk girls:
'' she remember everything FOREVER ''

No.2 RAM girls:
'' she forgets about you, the moment you turn her off ''

No.3 CD rom girls:
'' she is always faster and faster ''

No.4 windows girls:
'' every one knows that she can't do anything right, but no one can live without her ''

No.5 multimedia girls:
'' she makes horrible things look beautiful ''

No.6 screensaver girls:
'' she is good for nothing but atleast she is fun ''

No.7 internet girls:
'' difficult to access ''

No.8 server girls:
'' always busy when you need her ''

No.9 e-mail girls:
'' every ten things she says, eight are nonsense ''

No.10 virus girls:
'' also knowns as WIFE when you are not expecting her, she comes,installs herself and use all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose something, If you dont try to uninstall her......... .....you will lose everything.

So to all my dear readers which types of ladies r u & for the guys which type of gf do u have?

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Darling 'U R Beautiful'!!!???

I am being 'force' to say 'Darling U R So Beautiful' even if she is so ugly ( Now tell me how can u say a lady is beautiful when she put on her 'beauty mask'??? ). To all my dear readers surly u do ask ur hubby/bf how beautiful u look after u just have ur hairdo don't u? Yes! This is the most common time when a lady ask this question ' How do I look? '!!!

Trust me on this I know! And my answer is 'Honey! U look fantasTIT! Shall I 'poke' u now?!!!' Last time I use to answer back 'Aiyoh! Why spend so much on ur hairdo? What u spend on ur hairdo can pay for the whole month living expenses! Yah Lah! Of cause u look beautiful after spending so much!' And the result from this remark is 'NO POKEING for the whole week!!! & my gf will be sulking for the next few days!

Now read the following & read my ending:-

Telling your wife she's not pretty may soon be an offense

By MUGUNTAN VANAR

KOTA KINABALU: A husband telling his wife that she is no longer pretty in an attempt to humiliate her can be classified as an emotional violence offence if amendments are made to the Domestic Violence Act (DVA)1994.

The plan is to amend the DVA for the inclusion of a clause on emotional violence against women.

Currently, they are only protected only against physical abuse, Women's Development Department director-general Datuk Dr Noorul Ainur Mohd Nur said.

She said on Wednesday that the aim for proposing the amendment was to safeguard women both physically and emotionally.

Dr Noorul said emotional violence was a form of abuse that would deeply scar a woman and lower their self-esteem, dignity and self-confidence.

“It could be a case where her husband tells his wife she is ugly or humiliates her until she feels emotionally pressured,” she told reporters at the end of a seminar on how to curb violence against women at Wisma Wanita here.

She added they were in the process of bringing the proposed amendments to Parliament.

State Community development and Consumer Affairs Minister Datuk Azizah Mohd Dun closed the seminar organised by Sabah Women’s Affairs Department.

Azizah, in her speech, said that there was a need for the law to protect emotional violence against women.

Now due to this I have no choice but say 'Honey U R So Beautiful'! I am a poor fellow I cannot afford to be sue by any ladies up-side down & in-side out!

Oh yes, I do believed ladies need 'protection' against 'emotional violence' but how about us guy? Don't we need 'protection' too? What will happen if the following happen?

My gf scream at me 'U r really useless! Good for nothing buffalo! Not! U r not even qualified to be a buffalo! U got such a short DICK!!!& it is SOFT too!!!' Now tell me my dear readers will I be 'emotional raped'??? Can I sue my gf? Where is my recourse? Where can I get help & heal my 'emotion'???

So tell me, my dear readers what is you opinions?

P/S My gf is really 'beautiful' ok...............& He! He! The above 'conversation' never did take place ( I hope it never will! ) & please I don't not qualifiel to be a 'buffallo'!

Friday, May 15, 2009

On Heat! I Am On Heat!

R u on heat? By this it normally meant u r real horny...........ready do to poking ( fucking ) or to be poked if u r a lady. Well I am a real horny guy, well online that is ( in real life I am a very boring fellow ) so I am on 'heat' most of the time, every ready to poke into any available 'hole'!

Nah! This post is not about 'on heat'...........it is about real heat. It is so damn hot lately. The weather is like going on heat wave. So very very hot! So to all my dear readers what do u do in during this hot weather?

Take a bath! That is what I do as taking bath is the cheapest meant to keep cool. But it is like taking a 'hot' bath instead as the water is also 'hot'. So right after bathing I am all in sweat against!

Switch on air-con! Well for most people but poor bum like me can't afford the electric bill, so only switch on air-con if bathing method fail.

Take off all your cloths! Wear nothing! Now that is what I do! He! He! Of cause I can do this as I leave in the country side with no neighbor around. Wow! It feel real nice to go about naked, it feel real windy & nice 'down there'! Now how nice that will be if we didn't discovered wearing cloth.

Now this should solve my 'heat' problem except it made me go on 'heat' instead! Now seeing me going about naked in the house make my gf real horny & of cause she fondle & play with my 'bro', that make me go on 'heat' mode so poking session started & that make me sweat all over against!

So to my dear readers all the above methods don't work for me. Any other suggestion? So how do u keep cool in this hot weather?

Monday, March 23, 2009

Dead Cock!

Take a short break from stress and enjoy this joke my dear readers. Ok, this is how it sounds like:

Judge : "You want to divorce your husband for threatening you with his DEADLY WEAPON?"

Wife : "You got me wrong, Your Honor. I'm divorcing him for threatening me every night with a DEAD WEAPON!"

Hope u enjoy this very short entry..........He! He! No much 'activities' due to 'dead cock'!!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Free Sex!!!

One day, there is a businessman who does not speak good English from China wanted to make his first trip to New York for business purpose. Apart from work, he also wanted to have some pleasure. Among the many places that he intended to go, he was very tempted to see the 'Statue of Liberty'. Hence, he tried to get details from the yellow pages and got the telephone 6662613.

The next day, he was very excited and wanted to see the statue. He then called a taxi. Having problem with his broken English, the following was his conversation with the taxi driver:

Driver: "Where would you like to go, Sir?"

Man: "FREE WOMAN" (direct translation from Mandarin of Statue of Liberty)

Driver: "What? Sir, this is America, nothing is free here."

Man: “How come? But I saw it in the yellow page. Here, I have the number, SEX-SEX-SEX-TWO-SEX-ONE-FREE (instead of Six-Six-Six-Two-Six-One-Three!).

Driver: " ?? ......

I am sure my dear readers that u r aware that all sort of ‘translation got lost’ when direct translation from English to Chinese. He! He! Just a ‘horny’ example!

Monday, February 09, 2009

Firework & Economy...............

Today marked the end of Chinese New Year celebration ( 15th day ) & so gf is busy preparing foods, not a very grand affair just on moderate scale. Hemmmm!!!! This year CNY 2009 it seem is on a 'moderate' scale too.

Take for example the letting off of firecracker, at the started of CNY, firecracker will be let off all over the town, so it will sort of like 'competition' to see who set off the loudest firecracker & who stay the longest. This is the usual scene for the past few years.

But this is no so for CNY 2009 :( In fact the firecracker last for just 15 minutes for the whole town! The shortest I have seem! This is bad, without firecracker CNY lost all its identities & it just show how bad the economy is. I am not really surprise as buying firecracker is not a cheap affair. With so many people losing job, buying only the necessities is a must.

Well as for me I never buy any firecracker as I am a 'poor' fellow & also because I am a 'chicken' when it cum to lighting up a big firecracker. Anyway CNY 2009 for me is celebrate on a very moderate scale. I didn't do much visiting & also not many people visit my humble house. I believed it is due to the bad economy & also due to the rainy weather.

To all my dear readers, how is your CNY 2009 celebration?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Cock Sing Fuck Chai!!!

It is that time of the year against................Yes! It is Chinese New Year! And in another 11 hours time all the Chinese will started the count down to mid-night, getting ready to light up all the firework & praying to the 'fellow up stair' for POKEING SAKE DON'T RAIN!!!

Well not much of a problem for me as I don't play any firework ( too poor to buy & also too 'chicken' to light it up ) so rain or not I don't really care. But if it did rain, and most probably do & it will not be a noisy affair................Which is not good for me as even though I don't light firework but I do have my own unique 'count down'!

About 40 minutes before I have started my CNY count down..................with gf!!! He! He! Shall I say 'poke down'( to all my new readers I usually refer poke as to fuck )!!! It is after all 2008 ( Chinese calender ) & so foreplay will be a elaborate affair leading to a good poke to wellcum a good 2009! And so my pokeing shall started leading to an 'explosive' cum at the midnight! Now this will be good if it is all noisy as by now gf will be screaming her head off!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! What a big wellcum for 2009!!!! So care for a second round???!!! Well that is what I plan to do every CNY but to date it is easier to say then done..........it is near inpossible to cum at the exact midnight! So far it is either to early or late when I cum! Damn !hope I do it this year!

And to all my dear readers who is still reading my cocky post...........I wish u all a very Happy & Prosperous Chinese Year & expecially the Prosperous part as economy is no so good.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Big Nen Nen (Breast)!!! Slow Down & Look!!!

Have a look at the following video clip....................What say u??? BTW this is NSFW ( not safe for work ) especially if your boss is a very 'holy' bugger!



Now if the above is implemented in 'bolehland' I am very sure the traffic accident will be greatly reduced! I will cumfirm that I will in fact stop my car completely as I want to examine the 'nen nen' closely!

He! He! To all my dear readers what say u!!! Wishing Happy & Prosperous Chinese New Year to all & please drive carefully & slowly when 'balik kampung'! This is also why the above measure need to be implemented to reduced traffic accident due to speeding!

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Best Deal Of The Year! Free Of Charge!!!!

Look at the pic! See it is free! Free CREMATION ( Burning of body until only aches )! Now normally it cost quite a lot just to burn death body.

He! He! The above service I don't know if it is extended to Chinese New Year or not. But in this bad economy time I am not surprise to see many 'sale promotion' extended 'due to popular demand' ( Which in most case meant NO Demand! )!

To all my dear readers I do hope none of u take up the above offer! Wishes all my dear readers Happy & Very Prosperous Chinese New Year! So sorry that I miss posting up a 'Ang Moh' Happy New Year as I am too tired 'pokeing'( fucking ) gf from 2008 to 2009! :)

Monday, December 01, 2008

This is why!!! Horny's Explaination!!!

One day, a plain-looking man came with a pretty-looking OL (Office Lady) to the LV store.He chose a bag worth Rm5k for the OL. When it came time to pay, the man took out a checkbook and wrote out a check. The salesperson was hesitant because the couple hadn't shopped there before.

The man discerned what the salesperson was thinking and he said calmly: "I sense that you are concerned that this check may bounce, right? Today is Saturday and the banks are closed. Let me suggest that I leave the check and the handbag here. When the check clears on Monday, you can deliver the handbag to this lady. How about that? The salesperson was reassured and gladly accepted the suggestion. In addition, he waived the delivery charges. He promised that he would personally make sure that this gets done.

On Monday, the salesperson took the check to the bank. The check bounced! The irate salesperson called up the client, who told him: "What is the big deal? Neither you nor I have suffered any loss. Last Saturday night, I went to bed with that girl already! Wow I have a fantastic time farking her! Oh, by the way, I thank you for your cooperation."

This story reveals the nature of the sub-prime mortgage crisis. When people have high hopes for huge future returns, they lower their guard about the potential risks. This pretty girl thought that the Rm5K bag was going to come home on Monday, and so she lowered her guard. Therefore, she believed that her investment in the ONS (one night stand) was worth it even though it was based upon huge and highly uncertain risks.

Investment companies are great with packaging high return (but high risk) deals. The Chinese stock speculators are like this pretty woman. As such, they deserve to lose money. Without people like these, how are people going to make money from the stock market? As for the media and the stock analysts, they often play the role of the salesperson.

And now who are the people who do the farking? Well if u do make some money out of the share market then u r the one doing the farking! He! He! But if u didn't get out the market with the earning u will be farked by now. The funny thing about share market is that every buyer expect whatever share that he /she buy will appreciated in prices so can sell at a profit, whereas every seller will hope that whatever share he /she sell will depreciated in price so that he/she can buy back the share! So u tell me who fark & who get farked???!!!

Oh by the way, for the guy please don't use the example above to get a free fark & for the ladies don't spray open your sexy leg just to get a LV handbag ( Ok! Ok! I know ladies no so cheap, that LV bad is just for example only. On the other hand I am available for farking! Aiyah economy very bad earn some 'pokeing' money is alway good! )!!! Remember no free lunch!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Banana Test

Please take the following test to check how stresses are you....

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals.

King Kong, an Ape, an Orang Utan and a Monkey pass by.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

Think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds

Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer is:

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Orang utan = you're sick,

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Ape = you need a break,

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Monkey = worse, you suppose to be in the hospital right now..

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King Kong = I think you better take 1 year leave.........

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Why?! ????.......

A Coconut tree doesn't have bananas!

Obviously you're stressed and overworked.

Take some time off and relax! He! He! I assume all my dear readers are still working & still having a job. Well if u r now 'enjoying a very long leave' ( unemployed due to the fark up world economy ) well just enjoy & get ready & recharged yourself for yours working life.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Eat Full Nothing To Do!

So can answer the following question?

Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing mind ( I assure all my readers are ‘normal’ people ).

They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time, but instead, answer each of them immediately.

OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's)

First Question:

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are ; ; ; ;WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??

You're not very good at this, are you?( Do u feel that u r not very clever now? )

Third Question:

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.

Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30 . Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10 . What is the total?

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Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe...

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is Mary! He! He! Did I get u on this? Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to Redeem yourself:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

Show some action???

Not lah! It's really very simple. He opens his mouth and asks for it...

Does your employer actually pay you to think??

If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test! It will be terrible to let them know they actually employed a ‘monkey’!!!

He! He! To all my dear readers now back to work! ( If u r still working!!! ) :(