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Wellcum! Wellcum!

To all my dear readers if u find this site too 'horny' then please poke into My Other Site where I am more 'normal!!! Feel free to poke into any link within the post as it normally led to more 'interesting' post! Rest assure it is mostly not paid post! No ads for a 'horny' blogger!!!!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Farking/Sex Is Good! So Fark EveryDay!

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce large amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth. ( So ladies if u want to have shiny hair & baby smooth skin..........get POKED everyday! BTW I do provide 'poking' service. )


2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. ( I suppose wild bed shacking poking will 'heal' all this problem in no time! )


3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.( This I truly believed in as after every poking session with gf I end up half dead where as gf always said ' Some more horny!!!!' )


4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers! ( It is 'safe' only if u do poking on the floor as I have broken my bed & even fall off the sofa when doing poking on it! Dam it is very painful if u fall on ur upright 'didi'! )


5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. ( All quarrel & disagreement is being solved by having a poking session! If the quarrel is very serious then get ready for a very long poking session! )


6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! ( Yes! This is very true but u will end up half dead for the guy! )


7 Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. ( Yeah! Yeah! That is why after a long & heavy poking session I will sleep like a dead log! Oh yes! Whenever I couldn't sleep I will poke my gf! Ha! Ha! Ha! )


8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. ( This I am not very sure..........beside what if I do most of the kissing? Like on the 'nen nen' & down there? )


9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. ( He! He! To all my time if u do have a humongous facking headaches just say to ur partner..........'Lets do some facking now! I have a very big headache! Instead of asking for panadol! )


10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. ( So do u have poking session with running nose? Yak! I don't! So I think not applicable! )

There u have it! Facking everyday is goof for u & it do tend to solve most married life problem. But unfortunately for me my biggest everyday problem is MONEY NOT ENOUGH!!! No amount of poking will solve my money problem!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Old Pussy!

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Friday, February 11, 2011

5 Star Hotels! Horny Type Must Poke In!

How good a hotel is are rated by ‘star’ rating 5 stars rating being the best! Which meant its facilities, services, pricing and so on & so forth must be top notch according to the fellow who does the rating!

Now yours truly being a ‘Horny Ang Moh’ also do rating for the ‘Hotel’ he poke in! According to me the hotel will be awarded a ‘star’ for having the following:-

1.Friendly ‘hotel’……………………….You feels right at home. So good is the feeling you don’t mind taking off all your cloths! That is one STAR!

2.Physical outlook of the ‘hotel’…One look will make your bro stand to full attention! One STAR awarded for superstar outlook!

3.Well equipped…………………………The best hotel will be worthless if it is not well equipment or wrongly equipped! One STAR awarded for the best equipped hotel!

4.Service…………………………………….The most important factor! STAR studded service!

5.Well kept hotel………………………..One STAR awarded for hotel which is well kept.  

And now the name of the hotel which all guy must poke in is…………………

So small that it only have one tiny room! So small in fact I have to stand at all time & I cannot even bring in two big baggage which I have to leave outside the tiny room!

He! He! Guess the name of the hotel……………
Not it is not Tune Hotel ( Yes it is very small & sometime cheap )!
OK the name of the hotel is PUSSY!!!!!

Ha! Ha! Ha! How many of my dear reader guess correctly?

5 Star awarded for the best ‘Hotel’ according to Horny Ang Moh eh………..I meant Pussy which I have poked in shall have the following:-

Pussy that belong to a long legged slim lady- One look will make my bro stand up at full attention!

Pussy belong to a friendly lady. I have once poke in to a fierce lady……….she slapped, boxed & bite my bro.:(  So of cause I ended up no poking in!

A wet & tight pussy! It is really painful poking in to a dry pussy. On the other hand hammering lose pussy is not fun at all!

Pussy which belong to a lady who really know what you want in other word she know how to ‘service’ you! Imaging her gently stroking your dick with her soft tender hand ( this is why guy always like lady with soft tender hand ) & such you dick with her soft tender mouth & roll her wet tongue all over your dick head!

Finally a shaved pussy always gets awarded with a STAR! Lady who shaved their pussy really do know how to look after themselves & rest assured  that such pussy will be most delicious to be lick & ‘eaten’!

And finally one extra STAR for pussy which I poke for free!

So to all my dear ladies reader do look after your ‘hotel’ well, keep it clean & wet, regularly exercise it to keep it tight & if possible clear off all the surrounding wild bushes! Ladies you are all owner of 5 Stars Hotel! He! He! Ladies do drop me a line if yours ‘hotel’ have vacancy! I love to poke in for the night!

To all my dear readers a very big THANK YOU for poking in my horny site! Yes! It have being a long time since I last posted. Hope you enjoy the above post! Cheer to all & a belated happy CNY to all my Chinese readers & may all of you poke like rabbit this year!