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To all my dear readers if u find this site too 'horny' then please poke into My Other Site where I am more 'normal!!! Feel free to poke into any link within the post as it normally led to more 'interesting' post! Rest assure it is mostly not paid post! No ads for a 'horny' blogger!!!!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Sexy Pic! Have A Look & Ans 2 Questions! ( NSFW )

Have a look at the following pictures! Now look carefully & answer two simple question at the end of this post!

Wah! See this sexy lady! Big 'nen nen'( breast ) & long sexy leg! Wah skirt so short!
Now look carefully! Did u see what I see???
See! This car seat can be adjusted if u got long leg!
Dam! How can I concentrated on this car! Wow! Now to all my dear reader! DID U SEE WHAT I SEE!!!
Nan! Another close up view! If u cannot see what I see I think u better have your eye checked!!!
Ok! Having look at all this above nice picture, please scroll down & answer two simple question!

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Question 1! Tell me what is the color of the panty the lady is wearing!
Now did I heard u say meat color or did I heard u say THE LADY IS NOT WEARING ANY PANTY!!!!!
Very good! The answer is the lady is NOT WEARING ANY PANTY! Now u know why at every motor show u can see photographer laying on the floor taking 'underside' photo!

Question 2! Tell me what is the color of the car she is modeling?!!!
What??? What color arrr??? Aiyoh! U don't know the answer arrr??? Ok u are allow to scroll back & have another look & at the same time have another look at the lady poosie!

He! He! Now to all my readers who are working today can go back to work! To those who are no working or no longer have a job you can have a few more look or can read up all my 'horny' post under 'horny' label just to cheer up your day!

Remember sooner or later you can find a job! It will not rain forever, the sun will cum out someday! Have a very nice day & do comment on what is the color of the car! :)

Monday, December 01, 2008

This is why!!! Horny's Explaination!!!

One day, a plain-looking man came with a pretty-looking OL (Office Lady) to the LV store.He chose a bag worth Rm5k for the OL. When it came time to pay, the man took out a checkbook and wrote out a check. The salesperson was hesitant because the couple hadn't shopped there before.

The man discerned what the salesperson was thinking and he said calmly: "I sense that you are concerned that this check may bounce, right? Today is Saturday and the banks are closed. Let me suggest that I leave the check and the handbag here. When the check clears on Monday, you can deliver the handbag to this lady. How about that? The salesperson was reassured and gladly accepted the suggestion. In addition, he waived the delivery charges. He promised that he would personally make sure that this gets done.

On Monday, the salesperson took the check to the bank. The check bounced! The irate salesperson called up the client, who told him: "What is the big deal? Neither you nor I have suffered any loss. Last Saturday night, I went to bed with that girl already! Wow I have a fantastic time farking her! Oh, by the way, I thank you for your cooperation."

This story reveals the nature of the sub-prime mortgage crisis. When people have high hopes for huge future returns, they lower their guard about the potential risks. This pretty girl thought that the Rm5K bag was going to come home on Monday, and so she lowered her guard. Therefore, she believed that her investment in the ONS (one night stand) was worth it even though it was based upon huge and highly uncertain risks.

Investment companies are great with packaging high return (but high risk) deals. The Chinese stock speculators are like this pretty woman. As such, they deserve to lose money. Without people like these, how are people going to make money from the stock market? As for the media and the stock analysts, they often play the role of the salesperson.

And now who are the people who do the farking? Well if u do make some money out of the share market then u r the one doing the farking! He! He! But if u didn't get out the market with the earning u will be farked by now. The funny thing about share market is that every buyer expect whatever share that he /she buy will appreciated in prices so can sell at a profit, whereas every seller will hope that whatever share he /she sell will depreciated in price so that he/she can buy back the share! So u tell me who fark & who get farked???!!!

Oh by the way, for the guy please don't use the example above to get a free fark & for the ladies don't spray open your sexy leg just to get a LV handbag ( Ok! Ok! I know ladies no so cheap, that LV bad is just for example only. On the other hand I am available for farking! Aiyah economy very bad earn some 'pokeing' money is alway good! )!!! Remember no free lunch!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Bigger Is Better!!!

Ask any ladies which want she want? For sure she want bigger wan! A big guy & a small guy……..for sure a lady will choose the big guy (Usual reason is they feel very ‘protected’ with big guy!) Hemmmm!!! Maybe they assume that a big guy got a big ‘didi’ (cock) also, which in most case is true but not all cases (Well I do know that some sumo have short & tiny ‘didi’ as compare to their body size)! Beside body part a lady will always want anything else big! For example guy with big car, house, salary & big wallet!
As for the guy, not much better! A guy too want anything else big well almost everything like for example almost every guy want to have a gf with big ‘nen nen’ (breast) but not a big gf like for example ‘ang moh’ (European)size gf………….simple reason, all guy assume that a big lady must have a big poosie! Now this is the big different between the ladies & the guys! No guy will want to have a big poosie!
Well I am a normal guy so of cause I also want ‘bigger’ things! No! No! No big gf for me as I too assume big lady must have a big poosie! So how about 14.5kg heavier, 15mm wider, 36mm higher, 106mm deeper & 210 watt more powerful! So in other word bigger in all sense! He! He! I am not talking about my gf!
This is what I am talking about! The Onkyo Tx-Sr875! Yes it is a big ass av receiver when compare to my other av receiver the Pioneer Vsx-917s (my review lah so very safe to click on the link as in all the rest in this site! Very safe wan! No ads!). I have to change my Pioneer Vsx-917s to Onkyo Tx-Sr875 is all because of my Panasonic Blue Ray player! The Pioneer Vsx-917s got everything a av must have except if u r watching blu ray, this is because it cannot decode Dolby TrueHD, Dolby Digital Plus, DTS HD Master Audio & DTS HD High Resolution. All this new audio code is only available in a blu ray disc.

The above two picture is a comparison between the Pioneer Vsx-917s & Onkyo Tx-Sr875 & u can see how heavy the Onkyo is in the second picture! So how is the performance of the Onkyo? Very good as compared to the Pioneer I must say I am happy with it. It got so much more function & setting and so is it sound production. I must say it is compatible with my Panasonic Plasma Tv Full HD TH-50PY700H & my Panasonic Blue Ray player DMP-BD30 using Panasonic Viera Link, no ‘handshake’ issue (some other av receiver have such issue which result in no picture when HDMI connection is used).
Connection is done by using HDMI cable, Panny blu ray HDMI out to Onkyo HDMI in (it got 4 HDMI in so I got plenty of future HDMI connection to made) & then Onkyo HDMI out (only one HDMI out, the newer Onkyo Tx-Sr876 got two) to the Panny Plasma Tv, all very neat & tidy at the behind, only one in & one out for the cabling.
Beside this, Onkyo Tx-Sr875 has the abilities to up-conversion all video to 1080p signal. This meant u can even use a normal DVD player which output video signal in 480p to 1080p using the on-board HQV Reon-VX chip (this chip is much better than most av using Faroudja chip). Since I am already using a Panasonic Blue Ray player which output video at 1080p via HDMI (1080p can only be out put via HDMI) this up-conversion is not being use. I did however test it out on Astro signal using s-cable connection (Astro signal suck big time when view on big screen due to its low resolution), 480 to 1080 & I do notice that picture quality is slightly better which is not a surprise as ‘garbage in garbage out’ also apply here,well maybe a slightly better ‘garbage’. Anyway I didn’t use this connection as I considered it a waste to switch on the Onkyo just to watch Astro.
So far only good stuff, any bad stuff about Onkyo Tx-Sr875? Well I do have a very big complain! This bugger runs very hot! As in hot enough to cook my nuts! Yes it is that hot! Since I don’t have an air con in the living room I am most worry that the Onkyo will cook itself!


I solve the hot issue of the Onkyo by doing a simple DIY! As show in the two picture above I just make use of two 5” cpu casing fan to cool the hot receiver. I make use of a phone charger which supply 3.6v of power, it is enough to power the two 5” fan connected in parallel so that it run silently (normally 12v is used but in this case the two fan will be running at full power & hence very noisy) yet it is enough to cool the Onkyo receiver……..from about 65c to just about 43c.

Up-date.6-6-2010

I have 'up-grade' the two 5" cpu cooling fan to two 8" lap-top cooling fan. Some more the two new fan cum with 'bling bling' blue led! Look very nice & cool. The two 8" fan is source from two lap-top cooling fan as shown in the picture. I use just one mp3 usb power to power it. Before u buy similar lap-top cooler make sure that its 8" fan can be detached as some cannot be detached.
Well the above is just a very brief write on the Onkyo Tx-Sr875. Actually there is much more then that but then this entry will be very very boring & dry. More detail can be found on my other site (not very horny) here.
He! He! Sorry arrr to all my dear readers who expected to read about a ‘horny’ entry (He! He! Did I get your attention on the first two paragraphed) but instead end up reading a Onkyo Tx-Sr875. Anyway I hope u enjoy reading it & please do comment & don’t be shy!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Banana Test

Please take the following test to check how stresses are you....

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals.

King Kong, an Ape, an Orang Utan and a Monkey pass by.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

Think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds

Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer is:

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Orang utan = you're sick,

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Ape = you need a break,

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Monkey = worse, you suppose to be in the hospital right now..

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King Kong = I think you better take 1 year leave.........

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Why?! ????.......

A Coconut tree doesn't have bananas!

Obviously you're stressed and overworked.

Take some time off and relax! He! He! I assume all my dear readers are still working & still having a job. Well if u r now 'enjoying a very long leave' ( unemployed due to the fark up world economy ) well just enjoy & get ready & recharged yourself for yours working life.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Eat Full Nothing To Do!

So can answer the following question?

Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing mind ( I assure all my readers are ‘normal’ people ).

They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time, but instead, answer each of them immediately.

OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's)

First Question:

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are ; ; ; ;WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??

You're not very good at this, are you?( Do u feel that u r not very clever now? )

Third Question:

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.

Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30 . Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10 . What is the total?

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Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe...

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is Mary! He! He! Did I get u on this? Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to Redeem yourself:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

Show some action???

Not lah! It's really very simple. He opens his mouth and asks for it...

Does your employer actually pay you to think??

If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test! It will be terrible to let them know they actually employed a ‘monkey’!!!

He! He! To all my dear readers now back to work! ( If u r still working!!! ) :(

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Which One To Poke ( Fack )???

Mass wedding! How any of u do mass wedding? I am sure those who do it because it look 'glamorous'! But I think the real reason is it is much cheaper! Having mass wedding over here is not much for a problem but what if u decided to have an Arabian wedding? Look at the following pictures:-
Arrival of the bride!
Ehhh!!! R u my bride arrr???
Wah laueh! Which one arrr???
R u really my bride? Cum let me kiss u!
Dam! Now which one of u r really my bride? Oh! Never mind I suppose! I will just poke in & worry about pokeing the wrong bride later!

BTW I got the above pic in my email, don't know if the real owner of the pic allowed or not ( don't know whose is the real owner ) but if objected then I shall be most happy to remove this post. Thank u in advance & to all my dear readers, have a very nice day!

Monday, October 13, 2008

I Will Post Up Ur NUDE Pic If U Don't......

Cum! Let me see ur 'didi' ( cock )!!! Wah! So big arrr??? Ehhh! How cum ur 'didi' head so black in color? Ok! Just let me take a pic ok! Aiyah for 'remembrance' mah!

Hemmm! Wah u r real wet down there! Let me seee! Let me seeee! Wah ur pussy! So red & wet aarrr! Let me lick it! Oh! Let me take a pic! U r so sexy!

To all my dear reader, has the above happen to u? Well may be not exactly as the above scenario but do u have ur 'down there' pic taken! Ha! Ha! If u have ur 'down there' pic taken then read the following:-

Mum threatens to post nude pics

ST CHARLES (Illinois) - A WOMAN is accused of badgering her teenage daughter's ex-boyfriend with hundreds of e-mails and text messages and threatening to post nude images of him on the Internet unless he started seeing the girl again, a prosecutor said on Wednesday.
According to a Sleepy Hollow police officer's sworn affidavit, investigators began looking into the matter Aug 21 after the 13-year-old boy's parents reported that he had received hundreds of threatening e-mails and text messages from the woman, the Daily Herald of Arlington Heights reported.

The parents told police that the boy and his 13-year-old girlfriend had exchanged nude photos of themselves over their cell phones and that after the breakup, the girl's 42-year-old mother threatened to post the boy's pictures online unless he reunited with her daughter, the newspaper reported.

Police are pursuing counts of intimidation, harassment and child pornography possession in the case, according to the newspaper.

Investigators are analyzing cell phones and computers seized from the girl's home and school.

Kane County State's Attorney John Barsanti said that no charges have been filed and that the case has been turned over to a unit of the state's attorney's office that handles Internet investigations.

He called it 'an odd situation.' -- AP

Ha! Ha! The above happen if ur mummy have the pic! As for daddy I am sure u just keep quite! Now what happen if ur ex bf threaten to post up ur nude pic? I am sure u will be in deep shit! Hemmm! As for the guy I am sure u don't give a damn if ur gf post up ur 'didi' pic! But then I sure don't want my 'didi' pic in the net........well as long as it don't show my face then I don't give a damn also! He! He! But I do mind if it can indicate that it is my 'didi' with my face on it!

How can I face my female colleague who will say 'Oh Horny ur 'didi' like that arrr? Hemm ! Better then my hubby I suppose!'!!!

Well!??? To my dear readers what is ur comments on this???

Sunday, October 05, 2008

May I Poke (Fark) U? How To Say??? Pic Included!!!

Warning! The following picture is not safe for small kids ( Parents if ur kids happen to poke into my site by mistake, please don't 'thiu' me inside out & upside down! )! How many of u guy want to poke ( fark ) a lady but don't know how to say so? Ok! Ok! U can say the directed way ie. 'May I Poke u!!!'..........If the lady is the 'open' type she may say YES! But in most case u will get a big slap in the face! Trust me I have try before including saying I can see ur nice 'nen nen' ( breast ) in this post!But don't worry I have found the solution! Just bring her to have a walk in the following park!
Nice park to go in! Notice the small statue on the way in?
See the nice sign post?
Close up of the sign post! Hemmmm!!! Very good!
Now look at all this big 'cock' satatues! U can say to ur gf 'my cock' is like those!
Oh! Look at those nice naked lady! Good! Have a look at the statue in the lake? Pokeing upside down!
Another look at the leg!
Hemmm interesting!
Ah! But this want is much better! See u can ask ur gf to tied a ribbon on ur cock! Now this is the perfect 'cock' love by all ladies! 'Mushroom' head! It will give her maximum pokeing pleasure ( Now if ur 'didi' is not like that.....just lied to her ok! Poke in see later! )!
Which type u want! I am sure all ladies will love to drink the water from the right one!
Pokeing through the door! Who say if a lady cannot poke in a locked room!
Another look at pokeing through the door!Ah! U can ask ur lady to do this to u! Don't worry! Tell her u will wash ur 'didi' (cock) with detol soap then follow by the most expensive shower gel ( Washing detol will make ur 'didi' smell like medicine! Surely a lady don't want to eat a banana which taste like detol! Shower gel much better! Smell very nice! ) !
Well if u got two ladies with u u can say 'Want to try this?' But for heaven sake make sure u r strong enough!
This want much better! U can do this at home sitting on the sofa! But make sure ur 'didi' is strong enough for her 'rocking' action!
Wah laueh! If ur gf is a big amazon lady..........u will be like that poor men!
Wow! So very nice! She enjoy it so much that u get a kick in ur face ( Yes! My face do get kicked also! )! Make sure u r strong enough to carried her!
This type everyone can do lah! Both can enjoy 'kaw law'!!!


Well before u & gf leave the park one more big cock to see! If ur gf love ur cock so much she will climb up & have her photo taken!

Well? To all my readers if u want to do pokeing but feel very awkward to ask, then a visit to this park is needed! First poking session is always the hardest! He! He! Unfortunately this 'pokeing' park is in Korea, so any of my readers going to Korea? Do visit the park & post up ur pic! Oh! I am most willing to go to visit this park but I am a poor fellow.........so any sponsorship is most wellcum! I can do all the position shown plus extra! Oh before I forget I accept sponsorship from ladies only! He! He!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A-Style Or Doggy-Style???!!!

Look at the pic & tell me what u see? Aiyah I am not talking about Rossi winning the Japanese Motor GP & also winning the 2008 Motor GP Championship. Look carefully! Did u see what I see?

If u have being watching Motor GP u might have notice all sort of advertisement display around the race track & also on the podium. Well most look attractive & colorful but recently I notice one rather ‘unique’ advertisement!

He! He! It is call ‘A-Style’! It logo is ‘unique’ to me! Just a Big A with two dot on the left side. But to me it looks like two guy farking doggy style! It look like two guy to me as the fellow bending down don’t have any ‘nen nen’ ( breast )!

Now tell me my dear readers, look at the above pic carefully at the background advertisement, don’t u think ‘A-Style’ look like ‘Doggy-Style’??? O I do hope I don’t get into trouble from ‘A- Style’ by this post!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Horny Site Secured???!!!

Difference between http:// and https:// IMPORTANT information!

Very important...........must know..........

Dear friends

I never know, that is why I never pay online, now I know. If you already know, share with friends who not know.

Best regards

The main difference between http:// and https:// is

It's all about keeping you secure HTTP stands for HyperText Transport Protocol, which is just a fancy way of saying it's a protocol (a language, in a manner of speaking) for information to be passed back and forth between web servers and clients.

The important thing is the letter S which makes the difference between HTTP and HTTPS. The S (big surprise) stands for 'Secure'.

If you visit a website or webpage, and look at the address in the web browser, it will likely begin with the following: http://. This means that the website is talking to your browser using the regular 'unsecure' language. In other words, it is possible for someone to 'eavesdrop' on your computer's conversation with the website. If you fill out a form on the website, someone might see the information you send to that site.

This is why you never ever ever enter your credit card number in an http website!

But if the web address beg ins with https://, that basically means your computer is talking to the website in a secure code that no one can eavesdrop on.

You understand why this is so important, right?

If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card information, you should automatically look to see if the web address begins with https://. If it doesn't, there's no way you're going to enter sensitive information like a credit card number!

So now I do check if the site got https:// when I poke in my personal information like for eg how long or big my 'didi' is? Sorry urs truly is too poor & stupid to know how to do other online stuff! Oh! I just discovered that this site is no 'secured' luckily I have not post up my 'nice' picture ( My 'didi' picture for eg! )! I will be in deep shit if gf find out about it!

So to all my dear readers please don't post up 'sensitive' information in the net!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Horny & Amazing Mind!

I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

To my dear readers, can u read what I have written??? Well I am not only ‘horny’ but I got ‘amazing’ mind tooooooo! Aiyah if still cannot make head or tail what I have written well the following is in 'plain' English!

If you can read this, you have a strange mind too. Can you read this? Only 55 people can. I couldn’t believe that I could actually understand what I was reading. The phenomenal power of the human mind, according to a research at Cambridge University, it doesn’t matter in what order the letter in a word are, the only important thing is that the first and last litter be in the right place. The rest can be a total mass and you can still read it without a problem. This is because the human mind does not read every letter by itself, but the word as a whole. Amazing huh? Yeah and I always thought spelling was important!

So now can understand? Well I actually got this in my 'horny' mail. The part in 'plain' English is your truly translation.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Where Do U Keep Ur Comdom??

I was a very happy person & also a bit 'horny'. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating & pokeing ( farking ) for over long long times already and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister ( actually much more then that like what about fussy in-law, money & so on & so forth ) .

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less & may be not panty too & I didn't see any VPL ( visible panty line ). She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

I opened the door and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!'

And the moral of this story is:

'Always keep your condoms in your car'

And now for the truth, nothing but the truth! In real life the above don't happen & my gf don't have any sexy sister & over here all ladies dress up like a mummy! I am very sure if it is comfortable to wear two undies they will do so! So forget about having nice 'nen nen' to look at!

As for condom!? Who the poke put condom in their car? As for me I have a condom in my wallet just in case my 'pokeing service' is needed when I travel outstation & more importantly it make my wallet look fat ( poor fellow like me have thin wallet )! Now in the above case if I am invited to 'poke' in, I will lose no time to take off my pant! Condom is not needed!

So to all my dear readers ( including my lady readers ), where do u keep ur condom?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Types Of 'Nen Nen' & 'Didi'! Which Type R Yours?

The family is sitting at the dinner table.

The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of 'nen nen' ( breast ) are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well son, there's three kinds of 'nen nen'.
In her twenties, a woman's 'nen nen' are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them, and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how many types of "didi" ( cock ) are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his 'didi' is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his thirties & forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree??"

"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

To my dear readers which type of 'didi' or 'nen nen' u got?

Monday, September 08, 2008

Pictures Of Different Types Of 'Didi'!!!!

Warning! Not suitable for young girls & 'holy' readers! If u do look at the pictures don't 'thiu' me kaw kaw! The following pictures of different types of 'didi' ( cock ) is strictly for the guys to have a 'comparison' to their own 'didi'! And for the more 'outlooking' ladies u can roughly have some ideas how different a 'didi' can be!

Scroll down to have a look! He! He! Nice 'picture' need scrolling!

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Ok! Ok! Here it is! Thra ra ra!!!
The Russian! Thick & big! Just what most big Russian ladies like!
The Indian! Can move like a snake wan! This type also ladies like! Got movement 'inside'!!!
The Egypt ion! Not sure if their 'didi' is so crocked!
The American! Just like the gun they like to carry!
The African! Long and thin! Alway getting in their way!
The Chinese! Wow! So strong arrrr??? Why do u think Chinese like to learn 'Qin Kong'???

So to my readers, there u have it! Which type are yours? To my lady readers, which type u like? Not sure then u can try all the different types!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Ladies! Please Wear This!

Warning! The following is pictures NOT suitable for kids & 'holy' reader! After looking don't 'thiu' me 'kaw kaw' OK! Well have a look anyway if u must!




Well? How was it? Have a few eyeful? Good! All the above are Japanese lady! Very daring & sexy hor!!! Actually all the above pic are Japanese wearing skirts with specially printed 'panty or butt' pic!

Now will any of my lady readers willing to wear such skirt? STRICTLY NOT FOR GUYS! DON"T WEAR IT!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Handporn Service As In Marriage Life!!!

How many of my readers are married? Still undecided ie 'part toll' stage? Still 'available' ( this is a polite way to say NOBODY WANT ME!!! & I suck in 'chasing' lady! )? Or r u the 'being there done that' stage ie divorce & now enjoying the freedom! Well sooner or later we go through the following:-

Life before marriage is HOTLINK

' u can express ur self '. ( Ur bf will never say 'No'!!! All can do wan! This is the time for any lady to 'squeeze' their bf kaw kaw for their $$$! )

During honeymoon is TMTOUCH

' Always get in Touch '. ( Of cause! All the time touching wan! Pokeing is never enough! Anywhere & anytime can do pokeing! )

After Honeymoon is MAXIS

' Wherever u go ur wife network follows'. ( I am sure all my married readers have to do regular 'reporting' expecially when going outstation! All 'activities' must be reported! And this 'activities' will be cross-checked by the 'Home Minister'!!! )

After one year Life is DIGI

' ur wife can change ur life '. ( He! He! By this time the thought of 'pokeing' her is unbearable! Yes! Ur life have certainly changed! Not more 'drinking' session & 'talk cock' session is ancient history! Dam! Why did u get married in the first place?!!! )

After 10 years Life is CELCOM

' Subscriber is not reachable '????????? ( He! He! Maybe! )

Well to my dear readers, which one r u in??? Well as for me I am in all the above plus one more that is 'Line is NOT register' or popularly call 'Pangiran Tidak Dalam Di Perhimatan'!!!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Ang Moh Vs Chinese

Blue --> Westerner

Red --> Chinese

Opinion

B: Talk to the point

R: Talk around the circle, especially if different opinions ( For eg. If I want to poke u, will I say u r pretty lah, clever lah & all sort of nonsense! I will never say 'ur place or my place'!!! I did that once & get a slap instead! )

Way of Life

B: individualism, think of himself or herself.

R: enjoy gathering with family and friends, solving their problems, and know each other's business ( Very Keh Poh wan! For eg. whose daughter get poked or whose son make whose daughter big tummy everybody known. In my area whose chicken died people also know wan! ).

Punctuality

B: on time.

R: in time ( How many of my readers go to work 30 minutes before working-hours started? I bet most of u arrive 2 minutes after working-hours started, finding parking space is the usual excuse! ).

Contacts

B: Contact to related person only

R: Contact everyone everywhere, business very successful ( This wan is almost the same as 'kay poh', more contact more 'stories' to share! Nothing to do with business wan! ) .

Anger

B: Show that I am angry.

R: I am angry, but still smiling... ( Beware! This is very true! The chinese has a saying 'Smiling face got hidden dragger'! )

Queue when Waiting

B: Queuing in an orderly manner

R: Queuing?! What's that? ( Anything that is free for eg. free food during food fair u can see people surrounding the store! )

How to spend Sundays

B: Enjoy weekend relaxing peacefully.

R: Enjoy weekend in crowded places, like going to the mall. ( This is 'relaxing ' according to the Chinese! )

Party

B: Only gather with their own group.

R: All focus on the one activity that is hosted by the CEO.( After that on the food! The most expensive food like lobster! Forget about the fries mee or kiew teow! After the food the next focus is on any 'Leng Lui' ie sexy pretty ladies. No lady....MILF also can! )

In the restaurant

B: Talk softly and gently in the restaurant.

R: Talk and laugh loudly like their own the restaurant. ( The richer they are the louder the voice! Or they try to appear as very rich! )

Traveling

B: Love sightseeing and enjoy the scenery.

R: Taking picture is the most important, scenery is just for the background. ( This wan very important so that they can go back home & show that they have visit such & such places! )

Handling of Problems

B: Take any steps to solve the problems.

R: Try to avoid conflicts, and if can, don't leave any trail. ( This wan is very clearly shown in meeting especially with Boss. How to solve problem, everybody bow their head & worse still started pointing fingers at each other! )

Three meals a day

B: Good meal for once a day is sufficed.

R: At least 3 good meals a day.( Good meal meant at least 2 vegy 1 meat & 1 big plate of rice! In between got lots of junk food too! )

Transportation

B: Before drove cars, now cycling for environmental protection.

R: Before no money and rode a bike, now got money and drive a car. ( The bigger the car the better! Big 4x4 is the best! Toyota Ninja King is the favorite! )

Elderly in day to day life

B: When old, there is snoopy for companionship.

R: When old, guarantee will not be lonely, as long as willing to baby-sit the grandkids. ( So have more grand children is good! It also meant their son/daughter is 'productive'!!! )

Moods and Weather

B: The logic is, rain is pain.

R: The more the rain, more prosperity. ( During house moving if it rain that meant got lots of monies falling from the sky! )

The Boss

B: The boss is part of the team.

R: The boss is a Fierce god.( Someone terrible, horrible & vegetable! To be avoid at all cost! )

What's Trendy

B: Healthy Asian cuisine

R: Expensive Western cuisine. ( The more expensive the better! Don't care if it is steak from a 'mad cow'!!!)

The Child

B: The kid is going to be independent and make his/her own living.

R: Work, live and all for the kids, the center of life.( The Chinese work their ass off for their kids future! )

The above are the 'normal' differences! Below are the different of the 'horny' types:-

B: Pokeing is a pleasure!

R: Pokeing is a 'duty'! ( See what happen if after 1 year of married, still no children! The in-law will be screaming blue murder! Something must be wrong! It is the lady fault! )

B: Blow-job is part of pokeing!

R: Huh??? What is bj???!!! Wah so yucky! Not can do!

B: Licking a lady's oyster is also part of pokeing!

R: What???!!! So yucky! I can't imagine ur 'down-there' when 'aunty' cum visiting! Yuck!!!( Some ladies don't like to be licked 'down-there' too tickerish!)

B: Shaving 'down there' is normal! Beside a shaved poosie made licking more 'yummy'!!!

R: What! Shave my 'down-there'???!!! U so crazy arrr!!! ( Some Chinese do shave nowadays but not so popular yet! According to ur truly 'un-official' survey. To my lady readers how many of u shave ur poosie? Ur comment as autonomously is most wellcume! )

B: Pokeing is a success when a lady have orgasm.

R: Huh? What 'orgasm'??? I did cum didn't I???

Well that is all the different I can think off. To my dear readers feel free to add some more.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I Lick Ur ‘Nen Nen’( Breast ) U Check Mine ‘Didi’ ( Cock )!!!

The no.1 lady killer is ‘nen nen’ cancer, this wan is old news lah! Almost every lady know wan but going to be a no.1 killer for the guy is ‘soft didi’ or better know as erectile dysfunction which is ‘soft didi’ to me! According to a recent new report if guy cannot get his ‘didi’ to stand up he will die as this show that he got weak heart!

Wah lauehhhhhhh!!! This is very scary! But to my dear readers I will now teach u how to check if u have ‘soft didi’ for the guy & ‘nen nen’ cancer for the ladies.

Ok for the ladies according to the doctor u must exam ur ‘nen nen’ in circular motion when u r having bath & check for hard or lumpy part of ur ‘nen nen’. This method is good but I got even better method as I use the most sensitive part of out body to exam your ‘nen nen’! No! No! I am not using my ‘didi’s head’ to check ur ‘nen nen’! Althought that part is very sensitive but it is too sensitive! No! I will be using my lips to rub all over ur ‘nen nen’ & also my tongue to lick it to check for an lump or hard patch in ur ‘nen nen’! After my ‘nen nen’ licking any abnormally will be detected! It is perfectly normal if the whole ‘nen nen’ get firmed up!

For the guy one sure way is to watch ‘nice’ movie ( blue, xxxxx rated ) & see if ur ‘didi’ get hard or not! If still no reaction then watch the ‘nice’ movie & listen to the movie in 7.1 surround sound! What! Still no reaction arrrr??? Then u have to ask ur gf to ‘play’ with ur ‘didi’ & balls also with her soft & tender hand ( Most lady have soft & tender hand unless ur gf is a butcher! )! If still not reaction then ask her to give ur a good bj ( Those without a gf u can still have a bj provided by an ‘ah kua’, only Rm10.00 as informed by my friend! )! Wah if still no reaction then u better quickly have ur ‘didi’ exam by a doctor!

This is a life & death situation so I think it is most appropriated to apply ‘I lick ur ‘nen nen’, u check mine ‘didi’’!!! Oh! To all my lady readers I do give free ‘nen nen’ licking! Sorry guy I don’t do ‘didi’ sucking!!!