Happy Deparaya !

2 all mine indian & malay reader happy deparaya! 2 all mine other reader happy holiday. Mine holiday started 5pm 20-10-06. I will be on leave untill 30-10-06. Back 2 mine borring job on 31-10-06. He! He! Shall be enjoying this few day. Hopefully will have some 'hor ny' thing 2 blog.

Tank Kiu Very Much!!!

One day, a lady decided 2 visit a doctor 2 solve a rather emberassing problem,

Doctor: Morning, what is the problem, which part not feeling well?
Lady: Morning. Eeeh! I have a problem down there.
Doctor: Well?
Lady: U c doctor, mine lips down there very big, I will get marry soon, so how ah? (let doctor have a look)
Doctor: Yes, it is quite big, (thinking, gosh! as big as ur upper lips). Tell u what, I think we can cut off a bit & reduce 2 nomal size.
Lady: Painfull or not, expensive?
Doctor: No lah! Just like nomal cut & not expensive.
Lady: Ok, I will do it, but please can u keep it secret?
Doctor:Sure no problem. Can u come back next week?
Lady: Ok.

So the following week the lady pay the doctor a visit at the appointed time. The operation was a sucess. While the lady is resting at the female ward, she is very surprise 2 recieved 3 bunchs of flower. She feel very angry & call out 2 the doctor.

Lady: U promise to keep mine operation secret!!! WTF is the flower 4??!!!
Doctor: Please let me explain, the first flower is from me. This is the first time I perform such operation. It is really an honour.
Lady: Oh! I c. How about the second?
Doctor: Ah! The second is from mine assistant. She is happy for u, now it look 'beautifull'.
Lady: What about the third?
Doctor:That one..... is from the burnt patient from the male ward who insist to send u the flower, thanking u for donating to him a new pair of ear lobes!!!!!!!! He! He!

Strange Visitor

Today I have a strange visitor. Can someone tell me what it is? It stay on mine front house wall for almost a day & only fly off in the evening. He! He! I hope it bring me luck.

What If U died Now!!!!!!!!!!!

I have being sick , very sick this past few day. In fact I took 2 day sick leaves. I have the above med. Taste terrible & turn mine stomach up-side down & inside-out. So on the second night of mine sickness, I feel really terrible, hight fever,sweating & feeling hungry as I have no taste in food, in fact I feel like dieing, the above question flash across mine. WHAT IF I DIED NOW!

If I am a working single.

Ship!! I am going 2 leave mine parent, mine bro & sis. Whose is going 2 look after them? MIne dog,cat & fish? Oh! What the heck! Mine bro & sis is going 2 look after them. Its their job now. Oh OK then I died in peace.

OMG I forgot I have a GF. Will she be heart broken? Will she look 4 new BF? Ship!!! I just 'poke' her eeh I mean I made love 2 her,( we both enjoy it ) & I forgot 2 take the usual precaustion ( she ask me not 2 wear it as she enjoy it more ) & get prenant!!! Gosh! I am turning nut just thinking about it. I take back mine word & don't died in peace. I must fight this sickness, I am a responsible guy I don't want mine baby 2 be fatherless.

The above thought flash throught mine mind.

Actually if I died as a single, mine parent, bro & sis will be very sad (the family has lost a very horny son with great portential 2 bring many grand children) as 4 mine GF, I am very sure she is not prenant (I have meet her demand many time & her tammy is still flat) & in no time she will look 4 new BF. (but I am sure the performance is not to mine level)

If I am a family man

Whose is going 2 pay 4 the housing, car, water, electricity etc if I died. I am the bread earner. Who is going 2 look after mine six kid? Kid need a father love. Mine wife? Who is going 2 look & help her 2 look after the family. Ship!!!Who is going 2 give love 2 her!!!!! Dam!! I am the only one 'pokeing' her & that is it. Period!! I am going 2 fight this sickness & get well.

Actually if I died as a family men I should have taken some measure. 4 eg I will take up MRTA insurance 2 pay off mine housing loan, car loan, well too bad just sold off the car. Mine insurance will be enought 2 cover family expenses. What I can't prepare is the love that the father can give 2 his children. The love a husband can give to the wife. ( The ideal of other guy 'pokeing' mine wife freak me out ) So look after uself well & don't died a family men. Too much is at stack.

Now I am well, the above ? is not so relevent but I have yet 2 made preparation 4 it. Oh mine GF tammy is flat as ever. Mine family still have a loving father & the wife still get all the love & 'pokeing' she need.

BTW I could be single or married u guss. Hope u enjoy reading the above & thought over it. Oh do drop some comments.

The ABC of buying a car.

Car market is really bad nowaday with almost all car dealer offering some form of discount. It is now a buyer market. So u dicided 2 buy a car now. I am face with this decision a sometime ago. So how do I made mine decision?

1. Ask u'self this ? Do u really need a car? If yes
(I need a car 2 'par toll' ie 4 dating purpose, with car I can 'do' so many thing together inside a car. I think this is a very good reason.)
then how much or rather ur burget 4 the car.

2. How much u are capable of paying 4 the car will determine the type of car u buy. R u going 2 buy new car or 2nd hand wan ie pre-owned will do. Both have pros & cons.
New car is of course better,
(Which guy don't wan 2 date a virgin and have a virgin wife? )
it enjoy lower interest rate, waranty & the new car feeling. But please don't forget new car depreciated terriblely.
( Yeah virgin wife have no sexperiance at all, terrible in fact, u have 2 teach them every & any things of couse if u happen 2 be virgin u'self then everythings is OK)
Pre-owned car can be consider also.The main advantage is that with the same amount u use 2 buy a new car u can now buy a much bigger/better car. This is be'cos the car has already depreciated and the cost is being bore by the previous owner.
( Some guy prefer gf/wife with ex-bf.This is b'cos while dateing at intimate stage they enjoy it a lot as the gf/wife is well sexperiance as the ex-bf have already teach them all the technic ie all the hard work have be done, foundation has be established so 2 say. )
Some 2nd hand car came bundle with a lot of extra like sport rim with low profile tyre,hight power sound system,tinted glass etc which u can bargain 4 free. All this extra u have 2 buy if u buy new car although optional only but sooner or later u will fit as least some extra 2 ur new car, tinted glass 4 eg.
(Eg.Some get married & only have children after a long time. Some well sexperiance gf/wife came with extra as well!!! Ha! Ha! I meant children ie divorces. So u don't have 2 'work' 2 produce result.Somemore the children maybe thought babystage already so save a lot on trouble & cost.FIY baby milk is dam expensive. )
However buying 2nd car have risk since most 2nd hand car don't have waranty or at most with 2 months waranty only. U have 2 check out the car properly before buying it so as to prevent u'self from buying an accident car or problematic car. More of that later.
( This is the same with gf/wife with ex-bf made sure that she is really broken off with that guy.This is expecially so as that guy have intimate sexperiance with the gf/wife & of couse ur 'performance' must be on par if not better then the other guy or else ur gf/wife will yield 4 that sexperiance unless she don't mind ur poor 'performance'. Or worse still her ex-bf is a gangster & he came after u with a 'parang' then u r in deep sheep!!!! So be carefull. )

Now u have some ideal 2 buy new or 2nd hand car with ur burget. We came 2 point no3.

3.What type? Hah? What 2 u meant what type? Well there hatch-back, saloon, mpv, suv, pick-up double carbin and 4X4. So which type u want? Each type have pro & con also.

Hatch-back 2 door or 4 door.2 door eg proton satria 4 door produa kancil,kelisa,kenari(it is not a hacth-back sort of small mpv), hundai gets etc. Small size easy 2 park,easy on fuel comsumption (f c), simple maintentence quite cheap & simple.Car cc usually between 650 to 1000. Suitable for town use,single ( partoll can do lah ),small family <4.saloon style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">He! He! I am sure some of u do test drive ur gf, but ur gf is similar to but not a car ok. Seek permission first. If u want 2 test-drive do test-drive with responsiblelity & precausion ie wear condom. I am also sure that ur gf also want 2 find out about ur 'performance'. And if u r a lousy driver eer I meant ur sexperiance 'performance' u can always bring along a mechanic I meant someone good in this. Ahem! Ahem! Horny Ang Moh 4 e.g He! He!)

7. Financing!!!! Yeah u buy u pay! Can u affort? How much u pay per month :- amount u borrow x int rate in % x no of years + the amount u borrow divided by no of months = u monthly instalment. Also set aside some $ 4 fuel. When buying new car it is advisible to borrow so as to avoid IRD. U can pay off later with one lump sum 2 save int but please do it within a year as the rebate is more. Also don't redeem u reg card untill the loan period is up even though u have settel the loan to avoid IRD. Also u save on insurance 1st party dam expensive 3rd party only RM60 per year. If u wan 2 be safe buy 1st party but personally I feel it is a waste of money u cann't really claim u money unless the accident is real bad. If u buy pre-own car u can buy on cash no problem from IRD. Deal with first owner already.

8.Back-up service of the car. A lotl of people forgot about this. Some car in, fact most new car are control by electronic. So u just can't simply have them service by any garage under the coconut tree. Nomal service like oil/filter chg can of couse but made sure u fill the correct oil grade. Made sure the car is fully back by service centre and the service centre service is good. It will be a good ideal if u can pay a visit 2 the service centre & have a look see. U can judge the service, price and most impt the problem likely 2 be developed by the car u intended 2 buy. A talk withe the car owner there will yield a lot of valuable information like fc, ride quality, any regret with the car etc.

9. Some other factor 2 consider beside the above. Some people buy car for snob appeal. U will look better if u arrive in a merc then if u arrive in a kancil but then merc have hight maintence hight fc, the opposit of kancil. People will say wah! rich fellow.BTW pre-own merc is real cheap due to high fuel price. A merce c200k is now less then RM100k.
( This why some rich people will always find a beautifull gf/wife if cannot then beautiful mistress also can do 2. So people will c & say that bugger is real rich can affort 2 have such beautifull wife. )

So the above is mine ABC of buying car. Hope it is helpful 2 u reader. Do drop ur comment.

Condom Tester

Yeah! I decided to do just that. Apply through a condom manufacture online last night. Hemm wander if I will be selected and what am I suppost to do. Will I be pay for all the hard 'work' I did? Anyway will up-date later.

Life in the countryside in the good old day.

Back in the old day those of us who live the countryside don't have electricity or tap water so we have 2 use stream water 4 our daily need & firewood/candle/kerosene 4 cooking & lighting.
Life is peacefull and carefree.We spend our free time after study catching fish or birds (those that really fly). We will take bath from stream and have a good playing in the water. Now throught a personal experian when I was young I like 2 play in the stream nakel nothing feel better then the feeling of cool water all over ur body.But after being bitten by the small fish in the stream on mine 'equitment' I have 2 wear at lest mine underwear while playing the the stream. The experiance is damn painfull one. So 2 those of u who like 2 play play in stream please wear ur underwear OK.

Answering nature call while on the road.

For guy 2 pee while on the road is no problem just stop the car & pee by the roadside or at the nearest drain. However 4 girl or if u have 2 shiit then how? Out in the open other road user can c u. Well this is what I do. U open bothe the front &amp; back door of u car & do yr business in between the door there u can do your 'businese in privacy'

Just made sure u drive up a bit so that the front passagent don't step on ur pee or shiit when they get in.

Answering nature call in nature.

This is mine first post. This happen 2 me a long time ago while I am just a kid (I am still a kid).Say what will u do 2 answer the call of nature & there is no toilet around? Well 4 small call we guy have no problem any crook & corner will do. This is applicable 2 ladies as well but they have 2 squat down so the clearing 4 them 2 pee have 2 be bigger.

Now what happen if u happen 2 be in jungle or in countryside 4 eg camping,jungle tracking,site inspection etc and there is no toilet around & no papper also & u have 2 answer a big call of nature. The following is what u do.

1. U need 2 dig a hole b4 u 2 shiit in it.If 2 lazy 2 dig hole also can do.

2.& u also need leaves 2 wripe ur butt!!

3.Don't use the following type of leaves:- hairy type
small type

Well the above is what I do while living in the countryside with no proper toilet.