Handporn Service As In Marriage Life!!!

How many of my readers are married? Still undecided ie 'part toll' stage? Still 'available' ( this is a polite way to say NOBODY WANT ME!!! & I suck in 'chasing' lady! )? Or r u the 'being there done that' stage ie divorce & now enjoying the freedom! Well sooner or later we go through the following:-

Life before marriage is HOTLINK

' u can express ur self '. ( Ur bf will never say 'No'!!! All can do wan! This is the time for any lady to 'squeeze' their bf kaw kaw for their $$$! )

During honeymoon is TMTOUCH

' Always get in Touch '. ( Of cause! All the time touching wan! Pokeing is never enough! Anywhere & anytime can do pokeing! )

After Honeymoon is MAXIS

' Wherever u go ur wife network follows'. ( I am sure all my married readers have to do regular 'reporting' expecially when going outstation! All 'activities' must be reported! And this 'activities' will be cross-checked by the 'Home Minister'!!! )

After one year Life is DIGI

' ur wife can change ur life '. ( He! He! By this time the thought of 'pokeing' her is unbearable! Yes! Ur life have certainly changed! Not more 'drinking' session & 'talk cock' session is ancient history! Dam! Why did u get married in the first place?!!! )

After 10 years Life is CELCOM

' Subscriber is not reachable '????????? ( He! He! Maybe! )

Well to my dear readers, which one r u in??? Well as for me I am in all the above plus one more that is 'Line is NOT register' or popularly call 'Pangiran Tidak Dalam Di Perhimatan'!!!

Ang Moh Vs Chinese

Blue --> Westerner

Red --> Chinese

Opinion

B: Talk to the point

R: Talk around the circle, especially if different opinions ( For eg. If I want to poke u, will I say u r pretty lah, clever lah & all sort of nonsense! I will never say 'ur place or my place'!!! I did that once & get a slap instead! )

Way of Life

B: individualism, think of himself or herself.

R: enjoy gathering with family and friends, solving their problems, and know each other's business ( Very Keh Poh wan! For eg. whose daughter get poked or whose son make whose daughter big tummy everybody known. In my area whose chicken died people also know wan! ).

Punctuality

B: on time.

R: in time ( How many of my readers go to work 30 minutes before working-hours started? I bet most of u arrive 2 minutes after working-hours started, finding parking space is the usual excuse! ).

Contacts

B: Contact to related person only

R: Contact everyone everywhere, business very successful ( This wan is almost the same as 'kay poh', more contact more 'stories' to share! Nothing to do with business wan! ) .

Anger

B: Show that I am angry.

R: I am angry, but still smiling... ( Beware! This is very true! The chinese has a saying 'Smiling face got hidden dragger'! )

Queue when Waiting

B: Queuing in an orderly manner

R: Queuing?! What's that? ( Anything that is free for eg. free food during food fair u can see people surrounding the store! )

How to spend Sundays

B: Enjoy weekend relaxing peacefully.

R: Enjoy weekend in crowded places, like going to the mall. ( This is 'relaxing ' according to the Chinese! )

Party

B: Only gather with their own group.

R: All focus on the one activity that is hosted by the CEO.( After that on the food! The most expensive food like lobster! Forget about the fries mee or kiew teow! After the food the next focus is on any 'Leng Lui' ie sexy pretty ladies. No lady....MILF also can! )

In the restaurant

B: Talk softly and gently in the restaurant.

R: Talk and laugh loudly like their own the restaurant. ( The richer they are the louder the voice! Or they try to appear as very rich! )

Traveling

B: Love sightseeing and enjoy the scenery.

R: Taking picture is the most important, scenery is just for the background. ( This wan very important so that they can go back home & show that they have visit such & such places! )

Handling of Problems

B: Take any steps to solve the problems.

R: Try to avoid conflicts, and if can, don't leave any trail. ( This wan is very clearly shown in meeting especially with Boss. How to solve problem, everybody bow their head & worse still started pointing fingers at each other! )

Three meals a day

B: Good meal for once a day is sufficed.

R: At least 3 good meals a day.( Good meal meant at least 2 vegy 1 meat & 1 big plate of rice! In between got lots of junk food too! )

Transportation

B: Before drove cars, now cycling for environmental protection.

R: Before no money and rode a bike, now got money and drive a car. ( The bigger the car the better! Big 4x4 is the best! Toyota Ninja King is the favorite! )

Elderly in day to day life

B: When old, there is snoopy for companionship.

R: When old, guarantee will not be lonely, as long as willing to baby-sit the grandkids. ( So have more grand children is good! It also meant their son/daughter is 'productive'!!! )

Moods and Weather

B: The logic is, rain is pain.

R: The more the rain, more prosperity. ( During house moving if it rain that meant got lots of monies falling from the sky! )

The Boss

B: The boss is part of the team.

R: The boss is a Fierce god.( Someone terrible, horrible & vegetable! To be avoid at all cost! )

What's Trendy

B: Healthy Asian cuisine

R: Expensive Western cuisine. ( The more expensive the better! Don't care if it is steak from a 'mad cow'!!!)

The Child

B: The kid is going to be independent and make his/her own living.

R: Work, live and all for the kids, the center of life.( The Chinese work their ass off for their kids future! )

The above are the 'normal' differences! Below are the different of the 'horny' types:-

B: Pokeing is a pleasure!

R: Pokeing is a 'duty'! ( See what happen if after 1 year of married, still no children! The in-law will be screaming blue murder! Something must be wrong! It is the lady fault! )

B: Blow-job is part of pokeing!

R: Huh??? What is bj???!!! Wah so yucky! Not can do!

B: Licking a lady's oyster is also part of pokeing!

R: What???!!! So yucky! I can't imagine ur 'down-there' when 'aunty' cum visiting! Yuck!!!( Some ladies don't like to be licked 'down-there' too tickerish!)

B: Shaving 'down there' is normal! Beside a shaved poosie made licking more 'yummy'!!!

R: What! Shave my 'down-there'???!!! U so crazy arrr!!! ( Some Chinese do shave nowadays but not so popular yet! According to ur truly 'un-official' survey. To my lady readers how many of u shave ur poosie? Ur comment as autonomously is most wellcume! )

B: Pokeing is a success when a lady have orgasm.

R: Huh? What 'orgasm'??? I did cum didn't I???

Well that is all the different I can think off. To my dear readers feel free to add some more.

I Lick Ur ‘Nen Nen’( Breast ) U Check Mine ‘Didi’ ( Cock )!!!

The no.1 lady killer is ‘nen nen’ cancer, this wan is old news lah! Almost every lady know wan but going to be a no.1 killer for the guy is ‘soft didi’ or better know as erectile dysfunction which is ‘soft didi’ to me! According to a recent new report if guy cannot get his ‘didi’ to stand up he will die as this show that he got weak heart!

Wah lauehhhhhhh!!! This is very scary! But to my dear readers I will now teach u how to check if u have ‘soft didi’ for the guy & ‘nen nen’ cancer for the ladies.

Ok for the ladies according to the doctor u must exam ur ‘nen nen’ in circular motion when u r having bath & check for hard or lumpy part of ur ‘nen nen’. This method is good but I got even better method as I use the most sensitive part of out body to exam your ‘nen nen’! No! No! I am not using my ‘didi’s head’ to check ur ‘nen nen’! Althought that part is very sensitive but it is too sensitive! No! I will be using my lips to rub all over ur ‘nen nen’ & also my tongue to lick it to check for an lump or hard patch in ur ‘nen nen’! After my ‘nen nen’ licking any abnormally will be detected! It is perfectly normal if the whole ‘nen nen’ get firmed up!

For the guy one sure way is to watch ‘nice’ movie ( blue, xxxxx rated ) & see if ur ‘didi’ get hard or not! If still no reaction then watch the ‘nice’ movie & listen to the movie in 7.1 surround sound! What! Still no reaction arrrr??? Then u have to ask ur gf to ‘play’ with ur ‘didi’ & balls also with her soft & tender hand ( Most lady have soft & tender hand unless ur gf is a butcher! )! If still not reaction then ask her to give ur a good bj ( Those without a gf u can still have a bj provided by an ‘ah kua’, only Rm10.00 as informed by my friend! )! Wah if still no reaction then u better quickly have ur ‘didi’ exam by a doctor!

This is a life & death situation so I think it is most appropriated to apply ‘I lick ur ‘nen nen’, u check mine ‘didi’’!!! Oh! To all my lady readers I do give free ‘nen nen’ licking! Sorry guy I don’t do ‘didi’ sucking!!!

Women According To..................

According to a 'Math Nut' a women is the following:-According to 'Physic Freak' a women is the following:-
To a 'Tax Butt-head' after being 'hen-pecked' by wify a women is like the following:-
To a 'Control Nut-head' a women is like like the following:-
And now according to 'Horny Ang Moh' a women is like the following ( Pic Is XSX ):-

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My gf control my 'didi' so in effect she control my life!!!

Men In A Women!!!

Believe it or not.
Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr . in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....

Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:
MEN tal illness
MENstrual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HIS terectomy.

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

So to all my dear lady readers, r u very happy?

To the guy................We can alway say to a lady.................

'It is so nice to go Home! So Please Spray Open Your Leg!!!'

Ahem Ahem Sound In 7.1!!!!

Watching movie without sound is like drinking coffee without sugar. Taste bitter & yucky! Watching movie without sound is so not enjoyable! It may have the best picture quality but u will be left wandering what the movie is about, u may spend most of ur time guessing the storyline & this made the watching movie a very lame experience!

He! He! I admit I am a very shy & timid fellow & so I am scare shitless whenever I watch scary movie! To make it no scare at all I just ‘mute’ all the sound effect! So how about watching ‘nice ahem ahem movie’ in 7.1 effect? All the ‘Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!’ in surround sound??? The sound effect is so good & give watching ‘nice ahem ahem’ a total new sexperiance ( I am very sure the whole neighborhood will think I am a very good poker! )!

Previous in this post I blog about buying a kick ass Av receiver ( Audio visual receiver )…..well this is what I end up with. A Pioneer VSX 917s including a pair of Pioneer MS700F front speaker, Pioneer Ms700Cs center & surround speaker 3 units & Roger ASB100MKII power sub woofer. Plus a pair of Panasonic sur speaker ( This is needed as the original Pioneer Av package is a 6.1 system. ). This made it a full 7.1 system.

My Pioneer Av receiver, in the box & ‘exposed’. He! He! Look like quite a lots of stuff. In fact all together 4 boxes.

Picture show the free 3m HDMI cable, digital/optical cable & one roll of 100m cheapo speaker cable. It is considered cheapo as I can’t afforded to buy Monster speaker cable which is very costly ( 15m Monster cable cost Rm399 compare to my 100m Rm170!!! ).

Setting up the Pioneer VSX 917s is a simple affair. Pic show the acoustic mic ‘detecting’ & setting up the 7.1 speakers. The mic is included together with the Pioneer VSX 917s. I use a stool as that is roughly where my ears are.

Pic show the OSD ( On Screen Display ) of the system manual with the auto sound detection & setting in action. The Av receiver output a series of signer & it is finisher in about 8 minutes. When all this set up is going on u have to be as silent as possible. He! He! In my case I do this when gf go to bed, or else she will be making all kind of noise!

Here is the overall pic of my Av system including the right & left view of the surround speaker.

2 HDMI input & 1 HDMI output is available but it is only for switching purpose only, no up-scaling of picture or decoding is done. As such no connection is made through HDMI. The only only connection I use is through digital connection for DTS/Dolby sound decoding.

Over all I am quite happy with the sound effect at least when compare to my previous HTiB system. At least the ‘ahem ahem sound’ is much louder & have better effect. Sound from DVD movie is very good especially when having DTS signer. Listening to music thought the USB pen drive is good.

Any regret? Considering what I pay I should be quite happy but then I am a ‘fussy’ fellow. In my opinion the front speaker is farking ugly & traditional looking. I will have prefer a ‘modern’ looking wood color speaker. I will have prefer a black av receiver ( only got silver color ) as all my HT system is in black. It is very hot Av receiver! I think it is hot enough to cook my ball. But the most regret I have on buying this Av system is that Pioneer VSX 917s cannot decode the latest Blu-ray sound code like DTS HD or Dolby True HD. This is because I have a Blue-ray player. But then such av receiver will be very very expensive.

The other disappointed I have is with the performance of the Roger power sub woofer. It is simply nor powerful enough, perhaps my living room is too big? If I set the input to high level, the effect is just more low level bass. Not earth shacking effect at all.

Hemmm! I am really not very happy with my HT sound system but as they say 'If U pay peanut u will get monkey!' So to have a kick ass HT sound system I suppose I must spend Rm20k, not 15% only like what I did on this system. Next on the manual will by the source of my HT system.

Hair 'Down There'! Very Clear View!!! 50” Vs 32”

I forgot to mention in my entry ‘Pokeing sight’, one method on how I chose TV….. is 'If I can see hair very clearly than that TV is a good TV'! He! He! By hair I really meant hair, could be the hair on the face or the ‘hair down there’!!!! This is possible when I watch ‘ahem ahem’ movie. Oh yes! I use this method on my Samsung 22” wide screen LCD PC monitor; so far I am very happy with my choice. As mention in this post my 34” Samsung Flat TV has gone ‘kaput’ so no choice but to look for new TV. U can see how much I suffer in this entry!

Finally my TV arrived! It is one big ass Panasonic TH-50PY700H Full HD ( High Definition ) 50” Plasma TV! Ok! Lets me post up what this baby can do & show!

Plasma Panasonic TH-50PY700H in the Box. U can compare it to the LCD Panasonic 32” TX-32LX75M box. Oh! The box only contain the plasma TV. The pedestal is in a separated box ( The pedestal arrived much later, in fact two weeks late! Can see but cannot use! No pedestal, so left it in the box. That is why I can take the box pic together. Yes! The big box contained the plasma inside! Still 'virgin' from Japan! ). The LCD Panasonic 32” TX-32LX75M is actually ‘loan’ to me by my friend who is a Panasonic dealer while I waited for my Panasonic TH-50PY700H to arrive from Japan ( My friend is dam good in ‘securing’ this deal! I have no choice but to buy from him! He! He! I didn’t pay any deposit at all. All depend on trust. ). Yes! It is ‘Made In Japan’! Oh! This is why I can made comparison of LCD vs Plasma ‘performance’ ( This comparison is a bit unfair as it compared the lowest model against the top model in the Panasonic flat panel TV range. But then I do believed against any LCD the result will be similar. )!

Two back side views of Panasonic TH-50PY700H. Notice the three build in fans at the top. The fan are like those found in computer psu with speed sensor. It is because of these three fans, the Panasonic TH-50PY700H don’t feel very hot at all while in operation. In fact as compare to the LCD Panasonic 32” TX-32LX75M the Panasonic TH-50PY700H is ‘cooler’! Notice that it is rather ‘thin’ in relative to the size of the whole TV, in fact it is about the same thickness as the 32” LCD. No back side view of the LCD as forgot to take.

Overall front view of the Panasonic Th-50PY700H as compare to the Panasonic 32LX75M. Well actually not much of a different except for the much bigger size ( He! He! The Panasonic fellow did say somehow the 50” plasma TV don’t really look big in my living room! I suppose my living room very ‘empty’ wan! Or maybe he want me to buy the 65"! ) . The LCD have no refection at all while the Panasonic TH-50PY700H did show some blur reflection even thought it got anti-reflection glass panel ( only for PY700 model ). But it did look rather classy with a simple shiny piano black bezel. No logo to show that it is Full HD or whatsoever.

Being a fellow with ‘itchy’ hand, I have always preferred ‘complicated’ product. Pic show the various input available on the Panasonic TH-50PY700H & the various setting on each individual input. This is a very good feature as I have always prefer individual setting as setting for Astro input is different for game input & also DVD/BD is different. Oh! U can also set & adjust the input name! A plus feature. This entire feature is not available on the Panasonic 32LX75M. Only a simple pic adjustment.

This is Panasonic TH-50PY700H showing Astro ‘Discovery’ channel. Pic is blur blur as Astro signer is in SD ( Standard Definition ) but some channel show good pic quality like Astro Awani or those News channel. Input is done using s-cable. The pic quality will be even worse if I use composite input ( yellow rca plug ).

This is Panasonic TH-50PY700H showing a screen shot of Transformer. Sorry for the lousy pic quality as I am still using my 3.2mg camera. In real life pic quality is very good, very detail pic! In fact I can see ‘hair’ very clearly ( I can see the 'hairy' hand of the Transformer soldier's wife! ) , even view up very close like 6 inches in front of the screen! This is expected as it is showing pic in 1920X1080 resolution ( So much better than my LCD which is 1680X1050 so I can see ‘hair’ more clearly on my Plasma then on my pc LCD! ) . It can supported 1080p signer.

This is the screen shot of Transformer shown on Panasonic 32LX75M. Now if u seat more than 10 feet away the pic quality is very good! Watching Astro is also very good! Pic seems clear & sharp. But that is because u r seating so ‘far’ away so any missing detailed is not noticed & because of its small screen also. Sit nearer like 8 feet away u will notice that the ‘hair’ is not so clear & it is jagged. Go nearer like just in front of the screen the pic quality is very ‘pixilated’. This is because the resolution supported is only 1366X768 . It can supported 1080i signer only ( If u input in 1080p signer the TV screen will go black! Just off & on it against! It meant it can't support the 1080p.).

Now most of the movies I watch are fast action movie, so I expect Panasonic TH-50PY700H to performed. I am not disappointed. I tested it out on Transformer, AVP2 & Ghost Raider. All action movies with some very dark scene. Pic quality is good! No blurring at all as the plasma pixels reaction time is 0.001ms. Dark scene still can show detail as the contrast ration is 10,000:1 but I think it is the plasma property which is similar to crt TV. The other factor is it has 16bits plasma panel which produce 4,096 equivalent steps of gradation ( this enable smooth pic reproduction, so that shadow is not jagged. ). He! He! Dark scene ‘down there’ is shown clearly! So of cause I can see hair!!! This is also why I want to buy Full HD plasma. Only got two choices, Panasonic or Pioneer ( Other brand only got HD ready. ). Pioneer is out as it is dam expensive! Also because of this I choose 50”.

In fact any size above 42” ( as it is in wide screen 16:9 format ) will do, so in comparison it is bigger than my old 4:3 34” crt TV. As show on the pic above, even the LCD box is smaller then my 34" TV.

On the Panasonic 32LX75M LCD the same movie is tested. Pic show the Transformer screen. On bright scene & slow action scene the picture quality is good but once it shows action, all become blur blur, LCD pixel reaction time is 0.08ms! This is even worse when it come to dark scene. All black! Now if I adjust the brightness, it all become gray! This is bad! The contrast ration is 7,000:1 but not mention is made on gradation. So with this sort of performance I cannot see any hair ‘down there’!!! All black! So of cause LCD is no suitable for me.

Something extra on Panasonic TH-50PY700H is the SD card reader, located on the lower front right panel. U can view HD pic directly once u poke in a SD card & it will light up a blue light. Since I don't have any SD card, this feature is noted tested.

Apart from this Panasonic TH-50PY700H also got PIP function. Picture In Picture enable u to watch two TV programs ( two TV tuners ) or one input movie & one TV program at the same time as show in the pic above ( As I use Asstro AV1 as the small pic & HDMI1 as the main pic. Didn't show TV channel as it is not even adjusted. ). U can even swap the pic size. A useful feature if u r waiting for some life programs to started.

Another function is PAP. Picture And Picture is similar to PIP except the pic is side by side like two TV joint together. Shown is HDMI1 & Asstro AV1 input side by side.

Panasonic TH-50PY700H can produce SRS TruSurround XT Sound which sound rather good but it is nothing when compared to a 7.1 HT sound system. It sound like Hi-Fi system with good sound field. Well it is much better then Panasonic 32LX75M.

Beside this, there is a 'hold' function! It meant it can freeze & hold any pic being shown on the screen. A very useful function ( some of the screen shot taken is done using this function ). Now if I want to see 'hair' more clearly I don't have to pulse the BD player ( Oh! I forgot to mention that I use Panasonic Blu-Ray Player DMP-BD30. Hemmm maybe because of this, the picture on the Panasonic 32LX75M is also very good! More on this in later post. ).

I am sure people say plasma TV run very hot & consume electricity, but base on my usage, the electricity usage seem reasonable as the electric meter is still going slow slow just like if u r using a refrigerator. Oh! I forgot to mention Panasonic TH-50PY700H as a power saving mode which I switch on.

About heat, the Panasonic 32LX75M is much hotter! U can feel the heat in front of the LCD scene & also the back due to back light be on at all time. When compare to the plasma, no so hot. In fact the back side of the plasma is at normal temperature, only the top part is warm & u can feel the three fans sucking out the warm air ( Poor fellow like me cannot afford to installed air-con in living room. ).

Panasonic Plasma TV TH-50PY700H seems to be more lasting & easier to clean as the front panel is made of glass. Panasonic LCD screen seem to be made of plastic sheet so care must be made so that u don’t scratch it. Hemmmmmmmm with three fans at the back of Th-50PY700H, I might have to DIY fans cleaning maybe one year later.

Life span of Panasonic TH-50PY700H is 100,000 hours against 32LX75M 60,000 hours but then LCD have no ‘ghosting’ ( image retention ) effect. So far from my research Panasonic plasma is no so prone to ‘ghosting’ so that is not so much of a problem for me as I watch lots of ‘action’ movie! Hopefully this 'investment' will last more the 30 years!

I am sure by now my dear readers u r dieing to know how much does this baby cost ( or maybe some of my readers are already dieing of boredom reading this post )? He! He! Well, with one Panasonic TH-50PY700H u can buy about 8 32LX75M!!! Retailed price is RM16,999-00. How much did I pay for it? Well I will reveal the total cost of my HT system in the last post.

Any regretted buying this Panasonic TH-50PY700H? NO! NO! NO! Spend so much where got regret wan ( Just like a married man having a very expensive, sexy & beautiful wife! Sure no regret wan! Sexy wife is a death log when it cum to pokeing also nevermind! )!

Well, actually yes! One small regretted. I am buying this Plasma now with the full knowledge that a new model will be lunch very soon, Panasonic TH-50PY800H ( I can't rejected the deal as my friend has already place the order! That is why I say he is a very good businessman! )! This new model got 24p real cinema playback( Mine don't have. But it is only applicable on BD, so still Ok to me! ), high contrast ratio of 1,000,000:1 ( OMFG! Mine only 10,000:1!!!! So do I get to see 'hair' even more clearly???!!! ), 5,120 gradation steps ( Mine only 4,096 gradation, not too much different. But I am sure can show very clear hair! ), xv colour ( Mine don't have but only applicable to BD so still OK to me. ) & 'over 900 lines moving picture resolution with 480hz sub-field drive' ( Mine don't have.Only mention got sub-field. I have no idea what this POKE is about but it sound impressive! ). Plus free 5-years warranty! This is what my Panasonic TH-50PY700H 'loss' out to the new Panasonic TH-50PY800H!

Ok! Now 'sour gape' a bit. I am a normal guy lah so let see what the new Panasonic Th-50PY800H don't have. No SRS TruSurround XT Sound. No PIP.One TV tuner only. Styling is now more simple. No more thin speaker strip by the side. No more four speaker. Audio power reduce to 20w from 31w. And the new Panasonic TH-50PY800H is lighter by 11kg!!! Now where is the weight reduction? Don't tell me the plasma panel inside is now made of plastic ( Now if the plasma panel is really made of plastic then the 'old' Panasonic TH-50PY700H is a much value buy! Plastic will not last long & subject to coloration. )! Oh! I am sure the new Panasonic TH-50PY800H don't have any built in fans ( Panasonic dealer can cumfirm or not? ).

And what happen if the new Panasonic TH-50PY800H retailed for just RM12,999-00???!!! I will be very very 'tulan' & I might just pucked off my hair 'down there' in frustration!!! Any Panasonic personnel among my dear readers? Any cumfirmation on the price is appreciated ( I don't like to pucked my 'hair' down there! Very painful wan! ) & I hope Panasonic don't mind my 'horny' review of its product!

Well I hope my ‘review’ is not too boring, next on the manual is the sound system & finally the HT source.