Fcuk!!! I Can’t Poke!!!

Me & my big idea of posting up this entry ( In this entry I can’t poke/fcuk because of…. Well u can poke in to the entry why I can’t poke! ) now the real thing happens! I can’t poke nomore!

Last night I try my best to poke! I simply can’t! Even before I can poke in, I have to chase! Yes I have to do some chasing! No! My ‘bro’ is no chasing after gf’s poosie! I am actually chasing after my nose! I have a very bad attack of ‘running’ nose! My nose run at warp speed that very soon I finished the whole roll of toilet paper & my dust bin is fill up with toilet paper!

So how to poke in this condition??? It sure will be super ‘yucky’ with my nose ‘running’ all over gf nakel body ( strangely it don’t look yucky if I shoot all my ‘bullet’ on gf’s body )! I gave up the idea all together & spend a very miserable night hardly sleeping at all as I am 'chasing' my running nose!

Cum morning I practically bang on my doctors door at 8.00am sharp! I let her exams me with my nose seal up with toilet paper stuck up on each hole! I am having fever & my BP is going sky high 90/160! I have also a very sore throat ( I can forget eating gf ‘oyster’ for now! ) I ask her to give me the strongest pill available & also get MC for today!

I need the MC as I am in no condition to provide ‘service’ to my client! Yesterday evening I can still sound like ‘Brad Pitt’ but right now I started to sound like ‘Duffy Duck’!!! So how to ‘service’ my client??? Beside after taking all the pills I am guaranteed to go to ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZ!!!!

Oh! While I am typing out this post I have playing in the background my favorite ‘nice’ ( pornish ) movie with sound effect on! Ye it is ‘Oh! Oh! Oh! & Ah! Ah! Ah! Some more! Some more! While I am posting up this entry!

And I check on my ‘bro’ condition! Nothing! Totally nothing! He is ‘sleeping’ like a ‘good boy’!!! I even whack my ‘bro’s’ head!!! Totally hopeless! This cumfirm it! I can’t poke no more!!!

I hope this is just because I am very sick & not permanent ( If I really can’t poke any more then this site have to be shut down! )! I suppose ‘Sickly Can’t Fcuk!’ is right after all! So can any of my reader poke even when sick???

One 'Di*ck' Ten 'Poosie'!!!

It is hard to be a man! Some more living in this hard time ( I predict that life will get even harder once the the fuel price increase ), it is a hard time as the cost of living is rising like no tomorrow! Just a simple example.....how much do u spend on ur car fuel???Compare this to last time before the last fuel increased??? Now image how much more u have to spend on fuel on the next fuel increase ( widely predicted to be after general 'erection' )!

With the fuel price increased of cause every things else will increased as transport charges increased! And of cause all the increase in cost will be pass on to the consumer as the businessmen want to have maximum profit ( so we as ordinary people are being screwed in all direction )! This made the cost of living very expensive & some more salary increment ( if any ) is much less then the increased in the cost of living!

Oh! How I wish I am a monkey ( I chose a monkey as other animal have to chase all over the place for a mate to poke! )! Living a carefree live! Swinging from tree to tree without a worry in the world! Well I do have to worry about is my stomach so I will be searching for fruits most of the time! But that should not be problem as I will be living in a big forest so wild fruits will be bountiful!

Apart from this is I will be having a most enjoyable time pokeing!!!! Not only that I will be well groomed also! I read somewhere that it is normal for a big male monkey to 'serve' more then ten females! Woah! One 'di*ck' for more the ten 'poosie'!!! This is the sort of life I dream of! Everyday eat & poke only! Some more got more then ten different holes to poke! What more can a guy wish for????

I post this entry up while watching a very 'educating' documentary on animal pokeing & my thought wander! Please for pokeing sake I am still happy as a simple guy, in no way I want to be a monkey! Beside this I don't like the way monkey poke! Very fast & short time wan! So how to enjoy??? The only part I like is the many different 'hole' a monkey can poke!

So what do u think my dear readers??? Have I gone nuts???

Even hair 'down there' is shown clearly!!!

Is there anything wrong with my eye??? How cum when ever I look at my computer screen all the wording & pic look burr at the edge surrounding the computer screen??? Only the center part is clear! I believed it is the computer screen fault as I can still see my gf clearly even when I am pokeing her!!!

Just the other day I am looking at my computer's monitor looking at a very 'nice' pic ( what I meant is looking a 'pornish pic'! ) when all of a suddenly the 'poosie' I am looking at becum bigger & then go back to normal size!!! This happen a few time by itself ( I swear I didn't do any adjustment to the monitor! Why I even put my hand underneath the table! )! Now what happen is the monitor screen suddenly expand & contract which explain the 'poosie' becum bigger & smaller by itself! I understand that the 'fly back' of the monitor is unstable & this meant the monitor is going to be 'kaput' soon!!!!

This is my computer monitor a 17' LG Flatron 795 ultra ( one of the top range model 7 years ago ). It had serve me well for the past 6 years! I have so many countless hours of enjoyment looking at 'nice' picture & movie on it. Oh yes also lots & lots of time I spend playing pc game when I am not pokeing gf at night! I feel very sad when its time is almost up! Well I can still use it except for the blurring & the bigger & smaller effect! So now I have 'promote' it to to be use by gf computer for her to watch her Korean love drama ( To me this is a totally boring movie! 10 minutes of loving & laughing & 20 minutes of crying! The rest of the time is spend chasing each other all over the place )!!! He! He! I am sure the monitor will give her some excitement when she watch her Korean movie!

Now I have up-grade to this! A 22' wide screen Samsung LCD monitor 2232BW! It is a gaming LCD monitor with 2ms respond time ( For gaming purpose respond time is very important! This ensure not shadowing & blurring effect! Now even watching DVD 'nice' movie is very clear! It is very frustrating to see blur pokeing action! ) ! I connected it to my computer using digital connection ( I don't use its analogue connection as digital offer better pic quality ) & the immediate effect is......Woah! The pic is so clear & big ( after I have set it up of cause )! As a test I review the pic quality by looking at my favorite 'nice' picture! I can see each strand of hair clearly, I can also see the texture of the 'poosie' clearly & the wetness look so real! I can almost touch it & I half expected to smell it also!!!

This LCD cost me Rm1,150-00!!!! Dam! I have save so long for this amount ( Actually I save the money for rainy day but how to spend my time in a rainy day with a crappy computer monitor? ) but I think it is money well spend & I hope it will perform well for a long time & I will have a lots of enjoyment using it & it is easy on my eye too!

He! He! Will Samsung sue me or not??? I am very sure I am the first one to review their top range LCD monitor by looking at nice 'poosie' picture & using it as bench mark against their top range CRT monitor! Normally they use boring scenery picture! So to my dear readers what do u think???

No Pokeing! I Can’t Fcuk Tonight!!!

I can’t believed I am going to say this to gf!!! Why! Even an ‘old’ man of 61 years old can poke for almost 1 hour! Me I am a ‘young’ fellow, strong as an gorilla ( So far I haven’t see a gorilla pokeing on animal planet yet so I am not sure if I fcuk like a gorilla! But definitely I don’t fcuk like a monkey! ) & the stamina of a buffalo ( Any other stronger animal? ) have to say:

‘Sorry honey! But I can’t really poke tonight!’

Now please don’t jump to wrong conclusion! There is nothing wrong with my ‘equipment’! I have just check it out when I have my bath just now! It is just that I have being working like a dog ( Working ok! Not pokeing like a dog! He! He! It will be a record if I did that! ) since 10.00am until 6.00pm with a 15 minutes break for lunch!

I am being servicing my two air-cons the whole day! Oh yes I DIY my own air-con servicing! Full detail here ( it is a detail post on how I clean my two Toshiba air-cons, have a look & maybe u want to try it out too! )! It has being a long time since I last service my air-cons! Woah! Inside so dirty! The air filters are clogged up with a thick layer of dust! No wander I am on heat when doing pokeing!

It will be normal to find dust on air filters but I also find hair! The sort of hair u find ‘down there’!!!! I suppose it is mine as gf have shave off hers ( He! He! If u want to know, this is the shaving post )! Ok no more ‘extreme’ pokeing least that I clogged up my air-cons with hair of the ‘private’ type! Oh yes! It will be a major embarrassment if I let air-con servicemen to service my air-con! What will they be thinking???

It is real hard work to DIY air-con servicing! I must being getting ‘old’! Ok! Ok! I must not lost out to the 61 years old man! Just imaging climbing up & down a long ladder & spraying the dirty air-con with water! After all the cleaning have being done, I am half soaked with water & soap & I have two very wet balls! Dam! Tomorrow I have to service my National air- con ( Oh yes! I post that up too )!

So it is litter wander I am dead tired!!! My body is tired! My ‘bro’ on the other hand is not! Hemmmm!!!! Maybe if my gf really want me to poke her I think a nice ‘blow job’ might just persuade me to poke!!!

To my lady readers……how do u persuade ur guy to poke u??? To my guy readers can u still poke if really dead tired??

Training! Not can do! How To Poke???

After lunch today me & a group of sale executives ( Ok! Ok! Salesmen actually! But nowadays we are called sale executives or marketing executives as it sound nicer! ) are relaxing after a meal of simple lunch having small talks & me enjoying my smoke. Amongst us is a just married young lady.

We have some small talk on this & that, then the topic turn to sale training which normally last for a week. We all agree that we hate this training as we r more or less brain washed on the goodness of the company & the product which we have to sale. All of us don’t really like to attend such training which is conducted in KL ‘country side’ far far away from any shopping center!

The lady sale executive then said she might have to resign from this job as she can’t really do sale now & also attend this sort of courses. She also give other reasons like family...... yada yada balah balah………..Me, being a smart as*s say the actual reason is she miss her hubby or hubby don’t allow her to attended courses for such a long time! He! He! She finally did admit that this is the reason!

Ha! Ha! Then I say ‘ Aiyah! Poke poke poke strong strong before u go for the course or after u cum back, both of u can poke poke poke strong strong to make up for lost time mah!!!’ He! He! The whole group laughs so loudly at my suggestion that the next table look at us! Oh I also received a few playful slaps on my shoulder from her!

To my dear readers do ur bf/hubby gf/wify allow u to go on courses for a few days??? And do u make nightly report ( call ) home everyday or maybe some of u do hourly report??

Hor*ny ( 18 xsx ) New Year Resolution!!!

Resolution! Why everybody got to do it meh??? Since I got this tag from Netster I put up my 'hor ny' resolution!

1. I will try to set a pokeing target that is poke as much as possible ( I use to poke 3 time per day but get bored after sometime! That is why I post up 'How to make ur pokeing more sexited' no no no nowaday I can't poke 24/7 )!

2. I will try my best not to have a few of this pokeing 'nightmare' this year ( possible, if gf don't mind my 'bro' wearing cloths' or I don't try to save some money! 'Safety' bag now dam expensive! ).

3. If possible I will like to have a few more of this sweet 'dream' ( possible if I watch 'nice' movie before I go to bed )!

4. If possible I will like to reduce the size my big belly ( actually what they call pot belly but I like to say big belly sound nicer ) as it made pokeing very difficult so many nice 'position' cannot do ( but I might fail in this as I love pork leg! )!

5. If possible save money as much as possible as this year will be a very bad year! Every things prices will increase while my salary remained the same!

6. If possible I will like to poke into new 'hole'! Shhhhhhh!!! Please don't tell gf ( she will kill me if she know my intention for this year )!!!!

7. If possible I will love to made all my readers feel happy after reading my entries! Nothing made me feel more happy then spreading happiness to my reader!

8. If possible I will love to made some money through blogging as the amount I earn thus far is very small. This is the reason!

9. If possible I will also love to made some money through pokeing!!!! I am sure gf don't mind as I am a 'service provider' mah! I don't have to tell her I earn some money through pokeing! I can say I earn this much by providing 'good' service! Where I am living I can forget this but if I go to big cities then maybe I can earn some money from pokeing! So to my dear readers can help me out in this area??? Ok for each pokeing money I earn I will give u 10% of my earning!!! He! He! Enough of not??? Subject to 'bro' co-operation!!!

10. If possible I will like to go back to 'school' as I am stupid & I know nuts about internet, html code, seq & so on & so forth ( anyone willing to teach me is highly appreciated )!

The above is my simple resolution! Which type of resolution I belong to as show below??? He! He! To my dear readers yours judge on which type of resolution I have & comments is highly appreciated! Oh! Feel free to do the tag if u like!

*Start Copy Here*
When it comes to New Year’s Resolutions we seem to fall into four categories:

1. Quite serious about them,


2. Be flippant about them,


3. Do it because we feel pressured to,


4. Do not do them. So, the purpose of this little game is to let us know which category you are in.

Copy from “*Start Copy Here*” through “*End Copy Here*” and post it. Before “*End Copy Here*” tell us who you are, your site(s) (with link) and your New Year’s Resolution, or not. Then tag as many others as you like, from one to your entire blogroll, your choice.
If you like, create an intro paragraph to your post that also acknowledges who tagged you.

New Year’s Resolutions:

• Netster - Netster’s Blog - My New Year resolution is to “FAIL” more! I am learning the new meaning of “Failing” to succeed in life! That’s including blogging! *hehehe*


• Eric - Speedcat Hollydale - I love chicken. Problem is that I really never get to have enough chicken! My New Year’s resolution is to enact “Chicken Tuesday”. On this day I will eat only chicken, blog about chicken, and promote chickens all over the world. (hormone free) Join me, won’t you?


• Juliana – Juliana’s Site - My New Year’s resolutions are looking for a part time job, keep blogging, and learn to cook and bake.


• Michelle - Rusin Roundup - 1. Learn to be happier and accept myself for who I am, 2. Is to lose about 25 lbs., and 3. Is to stop smoking.


• Karen - Grow Rich Along With Me - My resolution for next year is to achieve $3K per month passive income by the end of 2008.


• Mel - Attitude, the Ultimate Power & Complain Complain Complain - “I don’t need no stinking resolutions.” I never hold to them anyway so why frustrate myself by starting them now.


• Sandee - Comedy Plus - I don’t need no stinking resolutions either. Years and years ago I did them because everyone else did, but not once did I follow through. Why set yourself up for failure?


• Lynda - lynda’s loft - My resolution is to see resolve to that which needs resolution. Like Mel and Sandee, I feel that resolutions give us more stress, however, being a person who sets goals each year, isn’t that the same thing as a resolution??? Goals vs. resolutions? Goals are more general and allow for more time to complete them, a resolution requires a mind-set and immediate action, which is not always feasible… Well, that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it…


• Amelia - Amel’s Realm - This is a list of my New Year’s Resolution:
  1) Health: Continue exercising twice a week, eat enough veggies and fruit, have enough rest, take vitamin C regularly and women’s multivitamin during my period.
  2) Spiritual: Improve my Daily Bread reading routine and my prayer life and learn more from God’s Word.
  3) Financial: Continue to make money online (my goal is getting €100 per month at least), be more creative in writing posts, and save most of the money.
  4) General Life: Continue to learn Finnish AND practice it as best and often as I can, try out more baking and cooking recipes, continue to maintain and share positive thoughts, continue to learn to control my thoughts, continue to learn to catch myself before I start complaining and count my blessings instead, continue to stop and cherish all the little moments in life that oftentimes go unnoticed, and continue to feed my inner child and last but not least, continue to ENJOY my life thoroughly.


• Max - MAX - My New Year’s resolutions are to dedicate more time to my friends; to finally be able to read “Der Spiegel” in German; to be calm when organizing my marriage; to go one last time to my favourite club and dance the night away; and continue to be happy!


• Marzie - Mariuca & Mariuca’s Perfume Gallery - My resolution for 2008 is to enjoy a healthier lifestyle and to expand my Perfume Collection.


• Sindi- Life Is A Roller Coaster - My resolution is to complain less, pray more and be a little more thankful for what I have.


• Judy - Sugar Queen’s Dream - My New Year’s resolution is: To take better care of my health. To eat better, well at least 3 meals a day, I’m lucky these days if I stop for one meal a day…. To help make the world a better place to live, I love the human race, but think there’s always room for change. To be generous until it hurts. To live each day as if it’s my last. To make a book of our personal family recipes and traditions for each of my 3 my children, so that the traditions and family cooking can be passed on in my family line long after I’m gone and finally……. To help more with the local Human society, Animals like little kids can not fend for themselves so it’s up to each of us to take care of our pets and to step in and care for all animals….. I hope that through me I can encourage my Children to be better adults and in turn to raise the Children they have or will have, to be good people with good, sound & solid values…. Peace!


• Adrian - First Time Dad - My New Year’s Resolution for 2008 is to be a better father…now I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions because I never keep them but this one I better keep! Happy New Year to one and all!


• Colin - Life - New Years Resolution? No way…Better to achieve more throughout the year rather than pander to the whims of a one day ‘wishful thought’


• Mauro - 1 Million Love Messages - My resolution for next year are: 1. Change my job (maybe work online). I’m really unhappy in the actual one. 2. Dedicate more time to my family and girlfriend… maybe start to get ready for our wedding 3. Work hard in 1 Million Love Messages and reach 2500 Love messages (or more) in the end of 2008.


• MidgetManOfSteel - Mental Poo - To get out of dealing with people who I have no desire in helping at the job I’m doing…catch the eye of someone who can see that I can write and be funny…and get my own ticket to happiness from my humor….and a Ferrari. While I’m doing this, I resolve to get a Ferrari.


• Stacy - Stacy - My New Year’s Resolution for 2008 - Is to be more understanding to my children and to other people, Not to curse at others while I am driving, try to eat right and exercise, try to volunteer in my community, and to believe more in my spiritual side.


• Jason - DatCurious.com & DatMoney.com - Although, I normally don’t do New Year’s Resolutions (because I find it as an excuse to actually do something I should’ve already been doing), this year I will plan on giving back to the blogging community, especially my audience. I’m not sure how I will do it yet, but I definitely will.


• Kesa - Little Aussie Cynic - My New Years Resolution is the standard….. to finally get off the smokes and to loose 8kg…. both which are possible just difficult…..Happy New Year to you and yours….Aussie


• Ann - A Nice Place in the Sun - “To let the rest of my life begin as soon as possible.”


• Scotty - HOT USA Trends Today - Try to create value for people from my blog. Traffic, Earnings the secondary objectives will follow.

*End Copy Here*

Tigress!!! Beautiful & Deathly!!!

Boring Sunday! Nothing much to do ( pc game all finished, can’t really poke 24/7 as I hate doing exercise ) so I decided to do some ‘windows’ shopping in a departmental store in a nearby town. I am doing ‘window shopping’ as my wallet is empty. Now when a guy go ‘windows shopping’ what he really meant is he is out ‘bird watching’! Bird of the two legged type ( Oh! Birds do have two leg! )….with ‘nen nen’ ( breast ) & u can also poke in if she allow u!

I saw a very pretty young lady manning a computer store, I believed she is the proprietress as she is keying in all the computer inventories while a few sale personals are also around serving customers.

I have small talk with her about computer stuff ( Ok! Ok! Actually I am checking her out! Since I am dress in my usual short pant, t-shirt & slipper nobody pay me any attention. ) as she has no choice but to talk to me, all this while she is keying in all the invoices into a computer. She really looks pretty & smells nice too! But that is all I can see. Can’t see her leg as she is sitting down behind counter ( He! He! I am a suc*ker for leg! ).

All of a sudden she yells out at the top of her voice!!! Apparently at her young hubby who is the proprietor in another room! Woah! The language she uses is really ‘unpleasant’!!!

‘What the fcuk is all this stuff!!!’
‘U roll out of ur room at once!!!’
‘What the fcuk is this ram???!!!’

And so on & so forth! The poor hubby hurriedly cum out & do the explaining to her in a nice manner & small voice! Clearly the wife ‘controls’ the hubby like he is her pet dog!!! While she is scolding her hubby in a loud voice all the sale personals & customer just pretend to ignore her scolding the hubby! Now I image she will say this to her hubby if he is pokeing her!!!

‘Faster! Faster! Why so slow???’
‘Harder! Harder! Why r u so soft???’
‘What! U can’t any more! U are totally useless!!!’

This is what I image she scolding her hubby while they were pokeing! I lost all my admiration for this pretty young lady!!! A real ‘tigress’ I say! Beautiful but deathly!

To all my readers, have u meet someone whose behaviors is totally what u do not expect? Usually of the worse type!

Very Very Very Important Person Pokeing ( Fcuking )!!!!!

We men, are just a simple human being, born to made mistake! We men, are just like a ‘animal’ which have a basic ‘pokeing’ instinct! Which we sometime just can’t ignore! Well most of the time we can ‘control’ outwardly at least but inwardly our ‘bro’ is busting to free himself & to shoot out the entire bullet in our ‘nuts’!!! Especially when an opportunity presents itself right in front of us! Especially when the ‘opportunity’ is a very ‘hot’ lady!

So what if u r a VVV I P ( very very very important person, as in like a big shot in the society, head of department, head of ………something big! So long as u r well know or famous! )!!! Of cause u will POKE! U do have a ‘bro’ or a full functioning ‘equipment’ don’t u???? Some more the lady is so tempting & she is willing to give ur ‘bro’ a very good ‘blow service’!!!!!

Well u can poke to ur heart content! Like I say before ‘ U allow, I poke lah! ’! Problem is since u r a VVV I P, do check & look before u poke!

Check list!

Where do u poke???

Hotel ( most common venue ) ??? Always go for the high class wan! The more stars the better! Don’t book the hotel room in advance & always do the booking urself! This is to prevent other people from knowing ur ‘pokeing activities’!!! If possible always change the room at the last moment! Since u r a big shot u never know that the room might have being prepared with hidden camera to product ‘nice pokeing’ movie staring u as a very very very famous pokeing star!

Car???

Can do! But the problem is ur car will be as well know as u r! Well u can always drive other less well know car ( since u r a VVV I P u have a few cars )U can always drive to a nice lonely spot with ur gf ( I assume u like lady, but some VVV I P like guy as well or even young boy ) & have a nice pokeing session! But do watch out for robbers or some ‘kaypotmah’ ( busybody ) to check out ur car! For more detail on how to do pokeing in car do check out my ‘car pokeing’ entry!

Check the room!

Is the room unusually well lighted??? Got mirror all over the place including the ceiling? Ok I know it is very ‘stimulating’ to see urself pokeing away! But since u r a VVV I P it is never too careful to be careful! Dim the light!!!

Who r u pokeing???

‘Mutual friend’ sure no problem wan lah!!! Can poke to ur heart content! But if she is a casual ‘friend’ then better decline the offer as u r a VVV I P!!! But if it is a PPP ( pay per poke ) then can consider as she is ‘service’ which u pay for!!!

The above check list is very simple & easy to carry out! It will surely save the VVV I P a lot of trouble & embarrassments later!

This post is created as a reminder to me as who know later on I might just becum a VVV I P!!!! Right now I am not a VVV I P & also not famous! So even if I poke the wrong hole I will have a painful ‘bro’ & only my gf know & also nobody will give a dam!!!

So to my dear readers any other ‘precaution’ I should take to do pokeing when I becum ‘famous’???? All comments are highly valued!!!

Last Year Last ‘Activities’ & 2008 With A Bang!!!

Fuel will increase by Rm0.40 per liter on the first of 2008!!!My friend message me! KNNCCB ( He! He! First time I use this phase! I think it meant fcuk ur mother smelly poosie!!! )!!! Dam! I quickly go to the shell station to refuel both my ‘mistress’ ( Mitsubishi Pajero 2.8 & Nissan Sentra 1.6 ) the Pajero take in 50 liters while the Nissan take in 32 liters, total 82 liters! It will mean a saving of Rm32.80!!! The shell station is full! Have to wait for a while to refuel my two ‘mistress’!!!

Luckily it is only a false alarm! But it will increase for sure this year! Most likely after general erection! Base on this it meant I will have to tighten my belt even more ( some more ‘activities’ or expenses have to be forgo )!

Finally my last activity for 2007 is…………..POKEING!!!! Pokeing started at 11.30pm & ended at 12.20am with gf!!! Yes I poke from 2007 to 2008!!! Actually I have planned to cum at 12.00 midnight but my timing is off! It could be the letting off of firecracker by neighbors! He! He! The sight of gf face being light up by the flashes of firecracker looks very stimulating!

So I started 2008 with a BANG!!! He! He! By banging gf!!! Well Pokeing is my 2008 first activity! So what is ur first 2008 activity??

Happy New Year!