I Forget! I Am Not Aware! So Where Got Guilty!

I have being blissfully going about my daily 'businesses' riding on my old motor bike ( Honda Ex5 110cc ) unaware that its road tax is already expired! It is normal if expired by a few days but in my case it is expired by 4 months! During this four months I do pass a few road blocks but I just pass through without the policemen stopping me. I suppose due to the old motor bike & me dress shabbily I look 'harmless' & law bidding. I am sure I will be stopped if I am dress like an 'Ah Beng' with rainbow color hair do!

Once my dad pointed out that bike have an expired road tax I ride the bile with apprehension & on the look out for policemen & road block ( the road tax has just being renewed ). So I supposed if u r not aware of things which u have done wrongly then where got 'guilty' feeling wan. And I also suppose in this case I am also forgetful ( Dam! I must remember to renew a lots of things, cars road tax, annual insurances, driving licence & also REMEMBER to wear 'safety bag' when pokeing! ) !

Gf say I am dam lucky that I didn't get caught! Yes I agree with her & I also told her that I must be getting old & forgetful! Oh! Yes! She agree that I am old & forgetful now! So I might forget who my gf is & 'poke' the wrong gf! Dam! I get boxed by gf for this to her! So are my dear readers this 'forgetful'?

U Want To Get Married Or Not???!!!! Part 2

There is a 'two' in almost everything & action! For example in 'pokeing' u have a 'in' & an 'out'! So in part 1 . I only blog on the 'goodness' of marriage.....( I am sure after reading it some reader will like to get married, I am sure the pokeing part play an important encouragement in the get married decision ) How about the badness ( got goodness so sure got badness ) of getting married????

Once u get married it meant that u have 'up-grade' ur self ( Are u sure it is an up-grade? Some will think of it as a down-grade ), u have enter stage 3 in life ( stage one is still dependant on parent, stage two is working already ). With immediate effect, once u get married u will have to made a lot of adjustment to ur life.

First thing u give up is ur freedom! Freedom as in u can do what u want. U can't just go out & have a drink, spending ur time in the coffee shop crapping, or just go window shopping in the mall ( looking at pretty girls ). U just cannot do as u like once u get married! U will need ur 'passport' first ( I am sure my married lady reader will say 'where got wan?' I always let my hubby go out wan! I don't believed u on this! I am very very sure if ur hubby go out every night drinking with friend u will start to question him already, worse still some wife will want to follow their hubby everywhere except the loo of cause, somehow with ladies around guy just cannot talk as they like! He! He! Pokeing sexperiance is a taboo subject with ladies around! ) before u can go.

As for ladies, still ok lah as long as u go out with ur regular lady's group, ur hubby don't mind wan ( actually he is more then happy to be alone to watch football ) but he will object if u go out with guy even though the guy is ur best friend. And of cause getting 'passport' to go out also meant report back on time. Freedom to go out alone is the first thing married will take away. Guy like to hang out with guy & crap about guy topic ( like pokeing topic ) same with ladies, they like to hang out together & talk about girl topic ( like make up & about pokeing sexperiance ). U will discovered that u get to hang out less & less with ur group once u get married & lost touch with ur group after sometime!

U must learn how to lied! Yes ! U must say all the food wify cook are yummy & u must learn to finish all her cooking ( that is why most guy have pot belly after married )! She will not be please if u say u have dinner outside with client ( If u eat out, she prefer u to eat out with her! ) after all she spend a lot of time preparing the dinner for u to eat ( hopefully with a full stomach she expect u to 'performance' better that night ). So please inform her long before hand if u plan to miss dinner, but really sometime this can't be done if it is a business dinner ( So ladies u have to eat alone sometime ). Expect to face an unhappy wife if u can't lied or didn't finished her food ( but I am sure my married reader still have to face yucky food & unfinished food in their married life, unless their wife can't cook in the first place or a super cook! )!

Adjustment in life! U r now married! U have to take responsible in all ur action. Whatever action u do u have to think not for urself but how about ur other half? Both of u must spend ur hard-earn money wisely ( unless u r rich, then no such problem ).

A great husband is someone who take full responsibilities toward his wife & family both financially, mentally & even physically. He will be a great father if he can look after & love kids. A great wife is the one who can look after the well being of the hubby & family! In this modern age the role of both hubby & wify is more or less the same. So can u take up this heavy responsibilities ( that is why marriage at young age have problem )?

U will need to made more adjustments in ur life once u start having kids ( kids can brighten ur marriage & can wreck ur marriage too, maybe more detail on this in future post ). If u can made adjustments then u will have a happy married life.

The fear of pokeing or being poke! U will be surprise to know that how fearful some guy are about pokeing! With all this fear in mind how to get their 'bro' up? The fear of being poked! This wan most lady fearful! But surprise surprise they like it after they find out how enjoyable it is. But the most fearful thing is giving birth! This is fear by all ladies ( that is the single most happy point why guy want to be guy ) & for this I respected all mummy ( and to my mummy of cause as she have to go through great pain just that I can poke into this world ).

For a ladies nothing is worse then to get married to a wife beater! Oh yes during courtship this guy is all romeo, it is only after marriage that a lady discover to her horror that hubby is a wife beater! And on the other hand it is most unlucky if ur wife happen to be a hubby basher ( this is rare but there are wife who regularly boxed their hubby ). This could be due to marriage of 'convenience' or forced marriage ( Due to lady having a growing tummy. So ladies please don't let urself be poked by anyone & guy do poke with responsibilities ). This is the worse fear a lady have! Apart from this she is also most unhappy if her man started to poke around & worse still bring home something extra ( AIDS ) to the family ( guy only want to poke around when he get bored after pokeing into the same 'hole'! It is OK! All is not lost u can learn some new trick in how 2 made ur pokeing more sexiting part1-6! ) !

For a guy nothing is worse then having a nagger ( actually some guy like it but very rare )! Of cause during courtship gf where got nag wan! Everything also good, also can! But once married! This wan not good lah, that wan lousy lah.....no must buy this or buy that. He! He! Just an example. Oh yes it is quite common for hubby & wife to quarrel over a TV! Hubby want to watch football, wife want to watch Korean love drama ( can be solve by having 2 tv, but it more or less show the difference )!

Another bad 'discovery' after marriage will be that they can't have children ( the first wan to get blamed will be the wife but in some case it is the hubby who have weak, few or dead 'swimmer' )! The in-law & parent will be making all sort of noise because of this ( not all in-law or parent are like this but for sure they will be very disappointed wan )!

So do u still want to get married?

Don't want to get married lah! I want to enjoy my carefree life! I don't want responsibilities, I am responsible only to me, myself & I! I can poke around! I can spend my money how I like it! For ladies I don't want to give birth, I might let u poke me if u r good!

But u will led a lonely life if u don't get married! So what, I have a lot of friends! Sure but at the end of the day u still go home to an empty house. A house without the warm, sound & smell of a family ( I am sure my married reader will know what I meant when all the rest of the family member is away & u r alone at home ). The Chinese have a saying 'U r nothing without a family'. Those who led a single life will feel most regretted when they are sick or at old age. By this time they really know the meaning of the word 'lonely'.

So get married lah!!! Not all marriage is a bad as what I wrote in this post! Choose ur pokeing & life partner carefully & u will have a very wonderful married life!

To all my married reader r ur other half as what u want? No? Never mind lah! No body is perfect! As long as u have a happy marriage life with a happy family u r the happiest person on earth!

To my single reader have u made up ur mind yet??

May I Buy This ‘Nen Nen’????

Towkey! How much for this ‘nen nen’?! I want to buy some! Rm4.00 for ‘nen nen’ of this size! He! He! Nah! This is the ‘nen nen’ I am blogging about! It is actually a type of giant green orange. It is also call ‘pamelo tangerine’ but I like to call it ‘ limau nen nen’ & the seller will know I refer to this green orange. I happen to have a bunch of big banana with me so the pic taken with it, nice or not. The banana is the big type nice & soft type with a nice banana smell! Get more information on the goodness of Banana ( poke in lah u will like my entry on banana wan! ) !

This is how a ‘undress’ ‘nen nen’ look like. There are two way to ‘undress’ a ‘nen nen’, u can peel off the skin ( two types, thin skinned or thick skinned ) or u can cut it up as shown. It look just like Sunkist orange but with green skin. It is sweet if the flesh is deep yellow in colour. Pale yellowish flesh usually tasteless. Here is another view on ‘nen nen’ growing on tree. Yes I grow two ‘nen nen’ fruits tree by the side of my house. So I save on buying ‘nen nen’! Rm4.00 per kg will get u about 3 or 4 ‘nen nen’ only ( big ‘nen nen’ ).

So anyone want to buy ‘nen nen’??

U Want To Get Married Or Not???!!!! Part 1

That is the question! So what is the goodness of getting married & the goodness of being 'free'. I will try to bring bring out the goodness & badness in this post! But wait, not gf/bf how to get married? U can't get married to urself lah ( I known one blogger say he get 'married' to his work! Wah I wander how he poke his work? ) so in the first place u must have a bf/gf first. I have not problem if ur bf/gf is the same as u r ( my thinking very modern wan ) as long as both of u r happily married, so what if both guy get married ( they can still poke each other back side, I heard that this is quite 'enjoyable' ) or both ladies get married ( they can still poke each other with the help of some 'equipment' or banana & even cucumber to be eaten after 'use' or they can always ask me, I am a good fellow most willing to help out in this manner )! For more detail on looking for hubby/wife do poke in hubby/wife hunting part 1 & hubby/wife hunting part 2 & hubby/wife hunting part 3 ( this posts hopefully is usefull to my reader ).

The goodness of getting married is of cause pokeing! Once u get married it meant u get the licence to poke! Unfortunately this is a licence with restriction! This licence only allow the u to poke one person or be poke by that person without restriction for as long as both of u are married ( how nice if this licence to poke is of the open type, I will be first to apply for such licence. Actually there is such a licence in our neighbouring country , where u got to pay for each poke, if I get such a licence I will be a licenced Poker! ). So with this licence u can get to poke freely. U can poke in the bathroom , or poke all over the house & nobody will care about it ( only applicable if u live on ur own house what they say 'two persons world', if u still lived with ur parent u still cannot poke all over the house unless both of u are alone. It will be terrible if both of u are pokeing half way & ur parent see it. Actually some parent do press their ear on the door at night to listen for any pokeing sound if after married if u still lived with ur parent ). So once married u can poke like no tomorrow!

No more lonely life. U get a companions for life. U get to share all ur problem & happiness with someone u love ( u get to do this with ur best friend also but he/she is just a friend, hubby/wife different wan as he/she is always by ur side, they are ur other half ). So if u r sick sure got ur hubby/wife to look after u & be by ur bedside ( best friend lost out in this area ). Sickness is just a example how about money? How about food?

By money I meant both of u can share in spending it lah & made decision on what to buy together! So lonely if u get to spend all the money by uself ( Ok! Ok! I am sure my reader will 'volunteers' to spend my money! He! He! But I am a poor fellow so I will be doing the volunteer! ) & most important both of u get to save the money ( b'cos unless u r very rich once u get married money sure not enough wan ). By food I meant not more eating out as ur hubby/wify can cook ( at first sure cooking very nice & yummy but after sometime will still go out to eat wan as boring already & other 'reason' as well )!

Once u get married, people will look at u with a different 'light' ( directly translate from Mandarin as don't know how to to say in English )! To the 'auntie' & 'uncle' & our parent once u get married it meant u have 'graduated' or 'up-grade' in life! Oh yes they will look forward to u starting a family ( Yah! They are more interested in carry ur baby & telling they friend that they have being 'up-graded' to auntie & uncle & grandparent status as well ).

Oh yes! Got one reason why u must get married! Can guss or not what is the reason? Aiyah! The guy poke in at the 'wrong' time & now the lady got growing tummy! Quickly must get married at once! No money also OK wan! He! He! Actually this is the 'cheapest' method to get married! But this marriage is done though 'convenience', so the marriage might be a happy one or otherwise as more often the not the lady might not actually like the guy. Sometime it is the guy who get blackmailed ( actually one of my friend get to married a hot lady but the pokeing done by someone else but what to do he though he do it ) so have to married this girl if not his 'bro' might get chopped off ( so guy don't simply poke around )!!!

Ok the above are just some example of why u should get married ( I am sure got other reasons but at the moment of posting this is what I cum up with! ). Now the question is when do u plan to get married?

No money how to get married? A very good reason but there are solution to this ( He!He! Get married to a rich fellow lah! Ok! Ok! Just joking, poor fellow can still find hubby/wife, money is not the only meant to every solution ). Ask urself if it necessary to spend all ur hard earn money on wedding preparation like dowry ( this wan ask by bride side if parent-in-law good wan just some empty 'ang pow' will do also ) & wedding feast ( this wan very expensive wan with all food price increasing like no tomorrow ) ? No need wedding feast can or not ( need approval from parent & in law as most parent & in-law want to have wedding fest! Why? Because so & so last time when their their son/daughter get married invited them so now die die must have wedding feast also! So u end up with an empty wallet! )? If can then u got to save a lot already & money save u can use it to buy necessary stuff to start a family, stuff like kitchen ware, washing machine & u might also use it as deposit to buy a house. The factor to consider is spend wisely so that u can start of ur family on a happy & financially planned footing ( many family start to crack up when they get tired of pokeing & when they realise that love cannot feed an empty stomach or when they have a baby. This is when money factor cum into play ).

Aiyah I still don't know this fellow well enough! This is also a good reason why until now still not yet married! But u have being pokeing around or u have already poke or being being poke by this fellow still not sure yet ( Ok! Pokeing or being poke I know is normal lah in big city, so being poke or poke doesn't really meant u know he or she )!???? So u still need sometime to really 'understand' this fellow ( is his pokeing good?, can 'sayang' u when sick? can solve problem & made decision or etc ).

But do remember that time wait for no one! Everyone is getting older & older day by day. And before u realise it u are already forty somethings! So now u want to get married! So by the time u retired u kids is still schooling! All ur hard earn money is now spend on his schooling need ( some people say my kids where got clever wan, no need for education fund, but then do take note that education is important in this era ) or if he is no longer schooling he still depend on u. For guy do consider this factor if u plan to get married late ( usual excuse is no money how to get married, so when u do have money u r already old......late thirties or even forties ). Ok some of the 'rich' guy say so what! Got money can get young wife! He! He! Young wife very 'energetic' so u have to use blue pill! But if u cannot do it she might look around ( ok not all ladies are like this wan ).

As for ladies.....Don't be so choosy lah! If u r young can choose wan, but when u reach ur late twenties u will discovered that not many people is 'chasing' u ( might not be applicable as some guy like 'mature' ladies ) so no more choice & also ur parent will be nagging u to get married & say 'so choosy u will end up with a smelly grape' ( direct translate from hokkien ). But do get married to the guy u really like & not due to parental pressure, after all it is u who get poked & spend the rest of ur life with this fellow!

So if possible do married young. Ideal age will be between 25 to 30 & start a family after a few years of pokeing ( if after two years of pokeing still no kids, u will start to heard some gossip that so & so cannot do it or maybe something wrong with so & so 'equipment! ) !

Wah! This wan long topic..........to be continue! Feel very free to comment even can comment on old post!

What To Do???!!! I Am 'Hor ny'!!!

I am sure all my reader have being 'hor ny' one time or another in your life. If u r 'hor ny' at home or alone then no problem. U can always DIY or can ask ur bf/gf to help u out, normally a 'pokeing' solve all this 'hor ny' urge.

Now what happen if u r 'hor ny' while working? Normally if u work in an office environment u do get the 'hor ny' urge but it is very unlikely that u will get this sort of urge if u r out doing 'field' work like in the construction site for example ( surely u don't get 'hard' while running here & there ). In office environment u get to sit down & do ur work & u get to have 'wandering' thought ( u don't get 'hor ny' if u r very busy or u have just being scolded by ur boss ).

Why do we get 'hor ny' while at work? Any normal guy/gurl will have 'hor ny' urge wan. But some guys/gurls are extra 'hor ny' ( ok lah I admin I am extra extra 'hor ny' but only in blog sphere ) so they will have 'hor ny' urge easily. For young guys/gurls it is normal as biologically they are very 'ripe' to do 'pokeing' so of cause this 'hor ny' urge is strong. For guy he can get 'hor ny' at any moment of the day even while working ( I still remember while schooling in my teen I have a very active 'bro' who have the habit of standing at full 'attention' at a particular young teacher! The fact that this young teacher like to wear short skirt doesn't help. So in all her class I have to remained seated as my 'bro' is already standing. If I really have to stand then probably my 'bro' will lift up the table as well! ) . For lady she is normally very 'hor ny' mid point between her 'aunty' visit.

How do we get 'hor nynise' while at work? Those who have Internet access in office will have no trouble getting 'hor ny' when u poke into 'nice' site looking at 'nice' picture so of cause u will get the 'hor ny' urge ( BTW I wander if my 'educational' & 'ho rny' post made u go 'hor ny'?? )! Beside this if ur colleague is a 'hotie' then ur working life will most 'stimulating' & a big 'torture'. Because u can see & smell but what is the use! Cannot touch or poke. So only can fantasize so of cause ur 'bro' is working overtime standing up all the time ( This will be different if u can poke her lah, but I can say almost all the 'hot' colleague are other people gf wan! ). So I do have a 'hard' time when this type of lady is around.So a guy who is reluctance to stand up might be because his 'bro' is already standing up. It is most embarrassing to show a big bulge in ur trouser. As for ladies at the most they get we*t down there when they are 'hor ny' & sometime they have a 'dreamy' look in their eye, some ladies might 'chew' on their pen/pencil, cross & uncross their leg & maybe open & cross their leg, but all this is done under the office table so we might walk right pass a 'stimulated' lady without knowing it.

So what to do if 'ho rny' at work? Well nothing much we can do except to really do our work as a busy fellow will have not time to be 'stimulated'. But due to the present of hoties in the office then perhaps u can go for a 'quick' fix in the toilet. But the office toilet must have soap without soap how to DIY ? But surely u don't want to ' oh oh oh & ah ah ah' in the office toilet do u? Beside this u must think of horrible thought ( like accident since, yucky food or even like as if u r being scolded by ur boss ) to 'soften' ur 'bro' just in case u must stand up ( but a 'bro' standing at full attention will take sometime to 'soften' unless it has discharged it 'duties' ).

This post is done at the suggestion by this hot lady from china! So r u 'ho rny' while working?

Another ‘stone’ reached!!!

First allow me to thank all my dear readers for all ur support & comments! This ‘hor ny’ site created by a ‘hor n yang moh’ has just reach 20,000 reader! The last ‘milestone’ of 10,000 was reached on 24-07-07.Yah! I know compared to other site this is a small figure, but it meant a lot to me. I must say that, to seen my site counter going up is most encouraging to me. It is something I look forward to. So of cause to reward my reader for their kind support I will continue to post up ‘interesting’ & ‘educational’ post ( my regular reader will know that all my ‘educational’ post are all under ‘hor ny’ labels ).

So to all my dear readers thank you all for yours kind support! Have a nice day!

I feel like a monkey………….

Why? Because I am eating ‘wild’ Logan. It is wildly grown in Papua New Genie & this giant green logan is eaten by monkey & birds there. This fruit is grow by my daddy in the my house backyard!

As shown the logan is very big the size of a ping pong ball. The flesh is thick & sweet. U can buy it in Sunday market at Rm12.00 per kg. So have any of my readers taste it before???

Let Me Look At Your 'Ball'!!!!!!!!

One day the CEO of a Bank received a visit from an old lady in his pose office! This old lady is a real fuss pot! She insisted to meet the CEO of the Bank because she intended to made some deposit. With nothing to do he allow the old lady in.

The old lady want to made a saving deposit of $250,000. Being curious he ask the old lady how did she manage to save so much money. The old lady said actually she didn't save the money! All this money is actually won through betting!

CEO: Really?? Woah! What sort of bet did u made to win so much money?

Old lady: For $25,000 I bet u have square 'ball'!

CEO: Ha! Ha! Lady u will lost this bet for sure! I know my own 'ball'. Cumfirm it is round! U still want to bet?

Old lady: Sure! Since the bet is for $25,000 I will look & examine ur ball tomorrow at 10.00am witness by a lawyer! Can or not!

CEO: Done! I will wait for u here tomorrow!

He think, 'He! He! Stupid old lady! This bet I will win for sure!' But that night the CEO is very very worry! What if he really have square ball! So he examine his ball carefully & even ask his wife to examine so this it is really round & not square! Just in case the old lady say that it is round, he go and shave his hairy ball, and in the process his ball also got a few nick ( it is very very difficult not to cut ur ball when u shave ur down under, anyway a lady might not like to see a desert with just a single tree )! So the next morning he waited for the old lady to cum to look & examine his now very bare & round ball! Sure enough a 10.00am sharp the old lady show up together with a lawyer!

CEO: Cum! Let me show u my ball! See I cumfirm with u it is round!

Old lady: Let me touch & examine it..........Ah! Yes ! It is round & soft...

While the old lady is examining & 'playing' with the CEO ball. The lawyer at first look on with amazement then he go & bang his head against the wall!

CEO: What is the matter with ur lawyer! Has he gone chookoo!

Old lady: Properly maybe because I bet with him for $100,000 that I will be playing the CEO's ball of this Bank at 10.00am today!

CEO: What the .............!!!!????

He! He! For $25,000 I will also let anyone examine my ball wan! So any taker???

TGIF!

Why Worry????!!!

There are only two things to worry about in life!Whether u r well or whether u r sick! If u r well then nothings to worry about!

If u r sick, then there are only two things to worry about!Whether u r going to get well or u r going to died!

If u r going to get well then nothings to worry about! If u r going to died then there are only two things to worry about! Whether u r going 'up' or going 'down'!

If u r going 'up' then nothings to worry about!If u r going 'down' then u will be so busy meeting all ur long lost friends that u don't have time to worry about!

So why worry? Be happy!

Unfortunately by nature I am also a worrisome fellow beside being 'hor ny' of cause! If only life is that simple then I don't have to worry so much! But alas life is not that simple. Our want are many & never ending! Me for example even thought have a 'simple' life still have so many unfulfilled want! Like I want to eat meat & egg ( for pokeing activities ) everyday & will like to eat out in restaurant, to taste 'ang moh' food & so on & so froth. But cannot! With limited money which value is shrinking faster then a puncture balloon! Very soon with another round of price increase I might even have to do all my shooting 'outside' with no money to buy 'safety bag'! So how to follow the above 'advice' & not to worry??

4 truth about 'hor ny ang moh'.....

Got this tag from a very hot Lady in Russia! She want me to 'reveal' some more 'truth' about me! Ok lah! Since she is such a 'hot' lady I gave in! So I will reveal what sort of lady I will fall for! Yes, hook, line & sinker! Oh this LADY have all of the following I think!

1.I am attracted to hot lady like 'fly to shi*t'! He! He! Maybe I should say like 'bee to flower'! I shouldn't equal a 'hot' lady to shi*t, but I like to use 'fly to shi*t' because some bee are not attracted to flower or some flower attract no bee. One the other hand where there are shi*t u will find fly!

2.I am attracted to a lady long & slim leg ( I am a suc*ker for se*xy legs, but then my gf don't have long leg, sometime in life u can't get what u want! ). But then hairy leg is a big no no even if the leg is long & slim ( Yes! Some lady do have 'hairy' leg, so they do shaving everyday when they bath, sometime when they forget the hair is there ).

3.I am attracted to a lady 'nen nen' ( bre*ast ) as well ( almost all the guy are like this ). I like a well shaped & firm 'nen nen' the type that can 'stand' on it own without the aid of b*ra ( Yah I know it is very rare, but then I can always fantasied mah ). The problem is most ladies are master of deceive. They may not be able to do anythings about their leg but they sure can made 'adjustment' about their 'nen nen'! I couldn't help but notice how 'full' a lady college is sometime but it is no so 'full' at other time. So I couldn't stand my curiosity & ask her about her 'nen nen' ( luckily she didn't slap me ), her reply is 'push up b*ra ( wouldn't it be nice if there is 'push up undie for guy? Yes ladies do look at guy's cotch & when they see a big budge they will think ' Wah so big arr!' )! Big 'nen nen' is actually a big no no to me! I don't want this to happen to me!

4.Finally I like ladies which is 'active'! I meant her behaviour, not the very shy type. It will be rather boring if the lady is too shy ( active in bed is another matter, shy lady might not be shy in bed, it all depend on the guy 'performance' whether u can give her what she want )!

Phew! This tag is done! Beside this I also reveal myself more in 7 Hor ny facts & 8 Hor ny facts . Gosh! I hope I don't have to do any more such 'revealing' tag!

To my dear readers do feel free to do this tag if u like! I will certainly like to know my reader more! Have a nice day!

I want to buy this, this and this………

I am sure my dear readers have this in mind when ever u goes shopping or when planning what to buy. Me, I am no different when it cum to shopping! The following are top on my want:-

I want to buy a LCD for my computer. I have being using a 17” LG Flatron for the pass 7 years. Lately it is showing me ‘color’ or sometime no color that is black & white only but most of the time one color like green, yellow or red! So how to play PC game like this? I don’t even know which side is which side ( normally enemies are in red ) when my monitor give me ‘color’! This is also very frustrating when I watch ‘nice’ movie using my PC ( I like to watch ‘nice’ DVD movie using computer as I can fast forward to the ‘nice’ part. But I want to watch guy pokeing pretty ladies, not ‘green’ people pokeing )! Normally I give the monitor behind a few slap & the normal color will cum back ( when watching ‘nice’ movie I have to slap a few time but this ‘slapping’ action greatly affect my ‘bro’. So where got ‘fun’ like this? ).

I want to buy a new car. Everyday I saw cars ads with very temping price, some more with free gifts. The urge is even greater when I heard so & so buy new cars & people ask me when do I buy one as my cars ( which I fondly refer to as my mistresses ) are all very ‘old’ as in outdated ( problem with having ‘old’ car are it like to give u all sort of small problem like air-con suddenly becum heater, so u will suddenly be ‘on heat’. And there are all sort of noise like squeaky sound inside the car, very disturbing if u want to do pokeing in a car ).

I want to go on a vacation! Oh how I longed to go oversea for a vacation after a few site which I poke in & the site owner will blog on how they enjoy in so & so places & do what in so & so places ( So far I have never go oversea as I don’t even have a passport & also being lowly educated I am afraid to venture out. I might even get lost or worse still be kidnapped & sold off to the ‘pokeing’ world ).

BUT I did none of the above! I didn’t buy a LCD monitor ( yes it is quite cheap now ) as I can still use it after giving it a few slaps ( but I will buy it as soon as slapping is useless & when I got enough money ) & so nowadays I have to watch ‘nice’ movie with volume turn real down ( I don’t want to wake up the whole neighborhood with all the 'Oh! Oh! Oh!' & 'Ah! Ah! Ah!' sound )on my TV with dvd player. It is just that I can’t really fast forward it so much.

As for buying new car! Forget about it as the trade in value of my ‘mistresses’ is real low. In fact card dealers prefer u not to trade in ur cars! So I suppose I will be driving ‘old’ car for a long long time.

Forget going for vacation! How to go for vacation when I don’t even have the money? But if someone sponsor me then no problem I made great traveling companion! I can keep u amuse with all that I know & beside this I am very good in certain ‘field’ ( Pipe dream I know. I am after all a ‘hor n yang moh’ not even a handsome guy but if I am a ‘hot’ lady then maybe got sponsor. That is why it is not so bad to be a Lady ).

Not! All the above wants have to put on hold. Instead I spend my hard earn money buying essential stuff. Mainly food stuff like vico ( in fact I just bought 4 2kg pack at RM20.60 each ) canned foods & so on & so forth as there might be another increase in price. Life is getting very tough in ‘boleh land’.

So to my dear readers do u find life getting tougher everyday?

I Am Going Bananas!

Banana! It is a longish fruits which I am sure everybody know.I am sure most of u like to eat banana also! And I am sure it is most 'stimulating' to look at ladies eating bananas!So I will present to my dear readers the following facts about banana:-

If you want a quick fix for flagging energy levels there's no better Snack than a banana.Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose - Combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.Research has proved that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.( Just imaging two banana can give 90 minutes work-out! I eat the whole bunch! So can poke for how long? That is why before pokeing session I have bananas first & if gf want I will be most happy to give her my banana! )

But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions making it a must to add to your daily diet.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of Hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia. ( That is why u will never see a pale or white 'orang utan' )

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium diet low in salt, making it the perfect food for helping to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.( This wan I am not so sure! So far OK to me. Pokeing activities required high blood pressure or else the 'equipment' will not operate in optimum 'hardness' so even eating a bunch of banana my 'equipment' is still 'hard' )

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert. ( This wan rubbished wan lah! Last time during schooling I eat a lots of banana but I still failed my BM & Maths )

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives. ( This wan is true! After eating bananas I have to quickly look for toilet! That is why when travelling I don't eat bananas )

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain trypotophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier. ( I am sure ladies after eating bananas feel very good wan. Of cause after my banana is being 'eaten' I also feel very good wan )

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system. ( I haven't try this before. My method is eat butter or sour plum or lime then I can pretend to be drunk so don't have to do pokeing )

Heart-burn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body so if you suffer from heart-burn, try eating a banana for soothing relief. ( So far I think my heart no burn )

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness. ( I might ask gf to eat early morning bananas next time she is sick )

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation. ( This wan I never try as I will reach for a can of Ridsect first )

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. ( No wander I can do pokeing calmly )

Overweight and pressure at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods such as bananas every two hours to keep levels steady. ( If all the ladies in my office eat bananas every two hours...........my 'bro' will be standing all day long forcing me to sit down all day long! )

PMS: Forget the pills eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood. ( So ladies when u r moody please eat bananas )

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chroniculcer cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach. ( No wander I have to look for toilet )

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a 'cooling' Fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of Expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature. ( So now I know why they say Thai ladies are 'good'! )

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, trypotophan. ( Applicable to ladies )

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking, as the high levels of Vitamin C, A1, B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal. ( I like to smoke ciggy but I can't imaging 'smoking' a banana instead! )

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water-balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, there by reducing our potassium levels. These can be re-balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack. ( When I saw ladies eating banana, it is so stressful to me! )

Strokes: According to research in 'The New England Journal of Medicine' eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%! ( So far ok to me )

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that, if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape! ( This wan no try before as I am wart free )

So you see a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple,it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.

So I am going bananas! How about u my dear readers?

I am so happy that I am a....BUT!......& to our parent! ( Part 2 )

Girls! I got to wear pretty cloths! I got to use make up just like mummy! Oh she is so pretty! Guy got to call me out! He! He! Guy got to treat me well & then I will ‘squeezed’ him dry ( money wise ) & he got to buy my gifts! On my birthday, when we first meet, on Chinese New Year ( ok ok maybe not on CNY ), on Christmas day and on any most ‘important’ day I can think off! And if he forgot!!! He better don’t! If he forget, then forget going out with me ( some ladies r like that, play 'hard to get' & such ladies have rich bf even though the guy may look like 'kanasai' ie sh*it)!

As a lady I expect a guy to help me out in all sort of things! He got to open doors for me ( not applicable in Asian as guy here seldom open doors for ladies ), help me to carried my shopping for me ( Yes us guy do that! And some ladies when they do shopping it is like as if they are buying a whole house, guy u better drive a big car, a kancil is just not big enough when a lady do shopping during mega sale! ) & most important a guy is expected to pay for my shopping ( Yes us guy do that if we can afforded it )!

I am also expected to know nut about car! These are guy ‘job’! As long as my car can move it is good! And because I am a lady I expected to be treated like a lady ( Yes most guy do treat ladies like their princess like ur truly but there are guy who treat lady badly )! And if guys don’t do as I fancy him to do so, I will not allow him to poke me ( Yes for a good poke guys are willing to do almost anythings )! Yes if he is not a ‘good’ boy he get to sleep alone!

And finally as a lady I can leave all decision making to the guy ( I blog on the guy in Part 1 ) ! 'I don't know! Ask my hubby/boyfriend' is a good reason to be use by ladies ( ' I have to ask my wife!' reason can be use sometime by guy but in most case if he use such reason people will this the guy is a sissy or a 'henpeck' hubby )!

BUT! I hate my ‘aunty’! When my ‘aunty’ cum I will be most miserable! I hate the wet feeling! I have to check if my we*tness shown through! I really can’t wear anything I like during this time. OMG I got to be poked!!!! How it is like?? Painful ( not painful wan lah if the guy do it properly if fact most enjoyable )?? And giving birth!!! This is most frightening ( This is the main reason why guy are happy that they are guy! Being poked is not the main reason! In fact some guy like to be poke! Apparently a guy g*spot is located inside the as*shole )!

As a parent I am sure they are most happy that they have a baby girl! Ur mummy will be most happy as she have someone to help her out in the house & she will be a good companion ( Oh yes! I am sure my lady readers do watch boring Korean love dramas with their mummy. Don’t expect the guy to do this!). And most importantly ur mummy will know that her daughter will go shopping with her & she get to pass on her shopping skill to her ( See even at young age a lady already know how to shop! Her shopping skill includes trying at least dozens different pair of shoes before finally buying just one pair next week! Oh yes she also learn to sq*ueeze all the apples on shelf before buying just two apples for example! ).

He! He! I am sure a mummy will have a fine time teaching her daughter how to buy a nice br*a, which pad to use when ‘aunty’ cum & even which type of pan*ties to wear! How to put on make-up which all ladies like to learn so that she will look so attractive & desirable ( we guy of cause fall for this hook, line & even sinker )! Oh yes! She will also pass on her cooking skill ( slowly not longer applicable as some ladies nowadays also don’t know how to cook ) so that she will know the way to a men heart is through his stomach ( No doubt the mummy will tell her daughter that is how she get daddy )! And in some rare case when some mummy are more liberal she will also pass on her lo*ve ma*king skill!

A girl general don’t give much trouble to her parents during her schooling day! To my teacher readers how many notty students are girls? The problem only begins when a lady reached her teen ( this also no longer applicable as some ladies get 'developed' even in primary 5 )! But then it is not really a girl fault. The problem is pretty ladies sometime created & attracts trouble! So most parent are very worry most of the time if their daughter is beautiful! How many times a guy get into trouble because of a lady? How many ‘battle’ a guy has to fight to ‘win’ a lady attention? Beside this, a girl is of cause more 'expensive' to have ( I am sure I will get a few bombastic comment from my lady readers over this ) as her clothing is more expensive & her need is unique ( monthly 'bag' for 'aunty' ) & make up kits, shoes ( a lady need goodness know how many pairs of shoes! ) & so on & so froth!

It is almost every parent nightmare when their beautiful daughter attracted ‘unsuitable’ boyfriend or boyfriends or worse still when she get poked & have a growing tummy! But then it is a dream cum true when their daughter manage to attracted a millionaire to be their son in law ( how cum most the rich guy r ugly while the handsome one are ‘useless’ & poor! However not applicable to ‘Hor ny Ang Moh as he is poor & as ‘handsome’ as an ‘orang utan’ ).

So u sees even being a lady not bad also & to a parent a girl in the family is godsend! So to my lady readers don’t u feel u are always someone’s special?

'Down Under'

I am bored! I have poke into many sites showing so many place to play, relax & enjoy life! And since I have always like to have a vacation in Ang Moh land, the nearest Ang Moh land is 'Down Under' or better know as Australia!

So I poke around the Internet to see what I can find or do while in Australia.This place is on my must visit list.

The Sydney Opera house!

And I will also like to dine at Sydney Harbour with an Ang Moh Cah Boh! Looking around & eating around sure many place to see & go. But all this activities will cost me money. So I got to save on accommodation & I find cheap accommodation at Cheaperthanhotels Sydney .

After Sydney I will go to Melbourne to have a look at the above big 'rat' found in Healesville Sanctuary in Victoria's Region. While in Melbourne I will stay in Cheaperthanhotels Melbourne .

After Melbourne I will like to go to Brisbane because that is where I can find the great barrier reef! Oh yes I will like to go & visit the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park. So of cause while in Brisbane I will stay in Cheaperthanhotels Brisbane .

I will like to stay in Cheaperthanhotels as it is cheap & I can even have free breakfast, free parking & also Internet access. And with its cheap hotel rate in Sydney, Melbourne & Brisbane that the hotel I will stay in while in Australia!

So 'Down Under' I must go, where I can find bushes, desert, catus & many fun place. I will have lots of fun playing down there! If only I 'kena' 4D! So any suggestion for the number for me to buy?

I am so happy that I am a....BUT!......& to our parent! ( Part 1 )

Guy!! ( please my dear lady readers don’t ‘parang’ or ‘kill’ me, later on in part 2 I will tell u why it is so great to be a girl ). A boy with an ‘equipment’ or ‘bro’ as it is commonly referred to. Yes I am happy to be a boy! I can do what I want! I can pee any where I want! If it is hot I can be half nakel! Most importantly I don’t have to wear ‘safety bag’ when ‘aunty’ pay her monthly visit because ‘aunty’ don’t visit guy! And of cause I can poke into a lady & not be poked ( in most case but that will not be so if I get rap*ed & get poked in the back side )!

BUT! Not but lah as a guy we are happy as can be! Yes I am sure ur parent is most happy that they give birth to a baby boy. Well as a boy I am sure u give ur parent a lots of joy & no doubt also a lots of trouble & headache as well maybe even more headache then joy.

As a boy u are expected to be a notty monkey getting in to all sort of trouble ( most of the boy anyway, if u r lucky ur boy could be a quite, obedience & a mummy boy ) like fighting in school, stealing, disobedience in school & at home. As a boy u will be bullying ur younger sibling & generally will a pain in the as*s for ur parent! While u r still in ur primary school ur parent will be worry sick at what sort of trouble u r up too. They will be most anxious & apprehension to received a call from the headmaster. In primary school the call will be something like the following:-

HM: Mr & Mrs Horn y! U son arr so notty wan arr! U see he didn’t do his math’s & BM homework …………….How can like this wan! Not only this! After punishing him to wash girl toilet ( apparently to a teacher this is to teach a guy a humiliating lesson & also girl toilet is more smelly ), stand up in assembly ( I will feel very outstanding standing up in the stage with teachers ) & canning him in the but*t ( I will wear a few undies so where got painful wan ) he still no do his homework!

Hor ny’s Parent: Ok! Tq for informing us. We will give him a lesson & this will not happen against!

So the at home u will give ur boy a good canning ( this is rare nowadays as parent no longer cane their children ) & tell their kids the important of good education ( in most case unless the parent just lets their kids be ). In some case the parents end up doing their kids homework!

Now when u r in secondary school ur parent might received a call from the headmaster:-

HM: Mr & Mrs Horn y! Do u know what trouble ur son is in! He is involved in a fight! That other guy end up with a black eye, torn uniform & almost have a broken arm! And he has also being seem around ladies toilet!

Hor ny: But that guy calls me a ‘hor ny ang moh’! As for ladies toilet a girl ask me to stand guard outside the toilet when she do her business in the toilet! I no see anything wan!

Hor ny’s parent: Son don’t ever do this against!

So that will be the sort of call a guy parent face when their boy is schooling ( ok lah maybe not that bad lah just some example ). Now u r in ur teen & if u have being a good boy u will still be schooling in form six or in university. But not every guy have schooling quality so some will be looking around for job or most will be unemployed depending on ur parent. At this stage ur parent will be most anxious not received a visit from a total stranger parent with their daughter & the following take place:-

Girl parent: Wah laueh!!!! Seee what ur son do to my daughter…..See her tummy is getting bigger each day! Why ur son like that wan arrrr??? Simply poke wan arrrr!!! NOW WHAT ARE U GOING TO DO???!!! Ah Moi! U tell uncle & aunty what happen!

Girl: See every night ur son bring me out & after sometime he poke into me………and then my ‘aunty’ didn’t cum for two month already so I check with doctor…& doctor say I got baby already…..ur boy baby……..

Hor ny parent: Harney u cum down at once!!! Did u POKE into this lady!!!!

Hor ny: What lady? Why I don’t even know her! Wah laued!!! U knows I don’t have gf yet!

Girl parent: Is this the guy who pokes into u?

Girl: Eeeeeh! Not lah! Not this guy!

Girl parent: Oh!!! I am sooooooo sorry wrong house! Please accept our humble apology!

Hor ny parent: Aiyah check first lah! Luckily I haven’t ‘parang’ my son!

Now what happen if u really poke into a lady & give her a growing tummy? I am sure u will be in deep shi*t & ur parent might lost ‘face’ ( actually this is not applicable in big cities as neighbors don’t give a hoot on what happen next door so face or not face didn’t matter, but not if u lived in a small town ). Ur parent might even freak out if they received a call fro the police!

So u sees as a boy we do give trouble to our parent! The above is just as example for the sort of troubles guy can get into. No! I didn’t give the above trouble to my parent…….well some of it did happen to me but simple & small trouble lah! It did happen to my friends. So I am still happy to be a guy but see what sort of possible trouble we can give to our parent!

Look At Me Closely!!!

Have a look at the above nice picture! Nice or not! Can u see something beside the the nice 'nen nen' ( bre*ast ) & poke from behind? Can see or not?? Ok just comment on what u see! I will reveal the answer later! He! He! look real close ok! Have a nice day!

Up-dated at 18.11 on 07-10-07
Answer posted in comment! He! He!

Prices Go Up, Quality & Quantity Go down!!!

I like to have egg in my daily food as it is a good food, almost wholesome to me and it can meet my daily energy need. And the Chinese have a saying whatever u eat will replenished or revitalise which ever or similar part of ur body, so since I do a lot of pokeing I need to replenished my egg ( it is for this reason I also eat a lot of big banana hoping that my 'bro' will be as big as the banana I eat or bigger but....He! He! Regular pokeing is the only way to keep ur 'bro' in tip top condition ) & so far so good untill now! It use to cost Rm6.35 per pack now it cost Rm8.60 per pack! An increase of 35% but do ur pay increase by 35%?

Beside egg I also like to eat breads & buns, so last night I go & buy one loaf of bread ( normally buying food stuff is done by gf as I just give her my credit card to use ), it use to cost Rm1.20 but now it is Rm2.00!!!! Not only that the bread is smaller! I remember last time one loaf of bread need about one & half small tin of 'kaya' ( coconut ) jam to finished it. Now one small tin of 'kaya' jam can be use for almost two loaf of bread! As for bun it use to cost Rm0.60 for bbq meat bun. Now it cost Rm1.00! Not only that the bun is much smaller some more with less meat! In fact all flour related product go up like no tomorrow!

Flour price increase mah, so have to increase loh........That is the reasons given by the trader! One big gunny sack of 25kg flour cost Rm38.00 now it cost Rm45.00 an increase of Rm7.00 but for 25kg of flour how many loaf of breads, buns or plates noodle u can made??? The trader can easily absorb the increase in price but nooooo they past on the cost to poor fellow like me! In the process they made even more profit! I think I will have to eat less bread! Aiyoh please don't ask me to eat Maggi mee.....Yes one box of Maggi mee the price will increase by Rm1.80 which I think is reasonable. But I can't eat Maggi mee everyday! If I did that I will lost my all hair & a bald 'orang utan' ( a very rare & protected ape ) will be ever more ugly. Not only that my dense 'forest' down 'there' will turn to desert with one lonely 'cartus' if I eat Maggi mee everyday. Oh yes I wander how much increase in price for food stuff once our cooking gas price increase yet against in the near future!

So how?? I think I have to cut down to all lot of 'luxcury' food like bread & bun as for egg I think I still need egg. Maybe I will give it chicken ( with feather ) rearing another try & hope that I will rear some hen instead of coc*k with the chicks I buy! Maybe I will cut down other non-essential food. Yes maybe I will just have to eat more bananan ( no increase in price ) as it is filling & I 'perform' better in toilet!

So my dear readers do u feel the 'squeez' in ur wallets with all this price increase?

Up! Up! Everythings is up but my.....

Aiyoh! Everything is up but my pay! How much I get paid depend on my 'performance'! My job performance that is ( how I wish my pokeing performance can be included ) how much 'sale' I can do! If I can achieved my sale target then got pay increment loh but lately economy have being very bad. Everywhere money not enough so people don't spend like no tomorrow! So how to achieved my sale target???

So to buy or not to buy? Does this question run through ur mind when u go shopping? I have this question running through my mind whenever I go shopping ( Yallah! I do shopping wan. If u saw one fellow wearing shabby t-shirt,short pant & slipper looking up & down comparing prices in a supermarket it is very highly u have meet 'hor ny ang moh!' ) & before I got shopping I will have a list in my mind what to buy already!

With limited money to spend I have made & change my shopping list! I used to like to drink a glass of Milo before I got to bed ( Milo is suppose to made u healthy & strong, I am more interested in the strong part, after a glass of Milo I will strong as a tiger & so poke like a tiger too ) but a pack of 2kg Milo cost RM24.99! So I have to look for alternative, which I find in Vico! A 2kg pack of Vico cost RM21.90 a saving of RM3.09 which is enough for my car fuel! After drinking Vico my pokeing 'performance' is same as drinking Milo.

Egg is another food which I need! But a pack of 30 eggs use to cost about RM7.35 but now it is RM8.60! Unfortunately there is not alternative for eggs ( flesh duck eggs taste very 'fishy' pigeon eggs too small ) so either I forgo eggs or I forgo other foodstuffs or other unnecessary expenses ( I have stopped buying durex 'safety bag' I buy instead other cheaper brand sometime also not use bag as I can't cum while I am worry )! Actually I did think of rearing some chicken myself for the egg. In fact I did that a few years ago. I go and buy a few chicks but unfortunately for me a few of my chicks turn out to be coc*k, more coc*k then hens. And it took quite some time before the hen can lay egg, in the meantime the coc*k are already chasing the hen all over the place so in the end all the chicken end up in my cooking pot & I gave up rearing chicken! But now I might give it another try ( how to know which is hen & which is coc*k as chicken don't have ball or banana when I buy chick ?) as I am sure it is much cheaper to have at least two fleshly lay egg everyday then if u buy from the supermarket!

Milo & egg is just two example on how I have to made choices when I do shopping! So my dear readers do u do that also?