First Time...........U Poke!

A few weeks ago I have an entry on first time u kis*s. This is a sequel to that entries ( I am sure my regular reader is looking forward to this entry ). For those who haven’t poke yet, it is a good idea to learn first ( yes pokeing is almost an art, a very private art ) as a enjoyable first poke will made u look forward to more pokeing! On the other hand if it is a painful sexperiance u will be apprehensive next time u do pokeing! As for me I have my first poke when I am in my twenties. Surprise? Well I happen to be brought up with the old school thinking. Ok ok actually I miss several changes to poke as show in this entry.

After teeth knocking & biting each other on my first kis*s & both gf & me have master the art of kis*sing I am ready for the next step! Since I normally do a lot of researches before doing anything I have more or less get myself ready! I do know that for*eplay is important prior to pokeing as a lady poosie must be ready to accept ur ‘equipment’!

Kis*sing is one of them so I do a lot of it & while doing, it my hand is also busy fondling her 'nen nen' ( bre*ast ) & slowly I run my hand up her leg slip my hand between her panty & slowly rub my hand on her now very wet poosie! Now I don’t poke my finger in! That is reserve for my ‘bro’ which is now trying to break free form my pant! All this time I am kis*sing my gf! My gf is now very breathless due to my kis*sing & my hand. Now I let my gf feel the huge bulge on my pant & I let her free my ‘bro’.

She look very surprise ‘ So big! This how it look like? ’ I ask her this the first time she saw a ‘bro’ which she nodded ( my gf is a ‘country girl’ so innocent & simple, which is also why I am still undiscovered blogging all this entries & other entries and of cause she is a vir*gin & me also). Then I ask her to lic*k & su*ck on my ‘bro’ first before I poke it into her very wet poosie. By then I unclothed my gf. Since this is her first time her juice is milky, thick & sticky with a very strong & ‘fishy’ smell! Of cause without hesitation I lic*k her wet poosie ( after I wipe off her excess juice with tissue ).

For guy do try to lic*k gf poosie as it is most pleasurable ( I read somewhere that a lady poosie is her cleanest area well a healthy poosie anyway & ladies if u do got out with guy it is a good idea to have a bath beforehand ) As for ladies do give the guy a bj ( bl*ow job I don’t why it is call a bl*ow job as u don’t do any blowing as it could kill! Mainly lic*king, suc*king & scrubbing with tongue & teeth & do take a bath also & clean ur ‘bro’ well) as it is most pleasurable! However guy with hyper sensitive ‘bro’ it is also a good practice to prepare ur ‘bro’ to do pokeing & to desensitize ur ‘bro’. U don’t wan to cum with just two poke do u?

Before I poke in, my gf ask me will she get pregnant? No! I assure her as I will only poke in half way ( actually I am also very nerves, I may know all the theory & know how but I have nil practical sexperiance, luckily my ‘bro’ is most obedient aided by her bj & didn’t cum in her mouth ). I can’t even find the hole ( Wah! So silly kah? This is my first time mah! It is located on the lower part of her poosie ) at first then I poke it in half way as promise or rather she sit on it just a few in & out only on the half way mark. It is very tight but luckily gf have a wet poosie or else it will be a painfull first poke.

And it is over in a few minutes because both of us is very nerves & both of us is on the look out & jumpy! And I didn’t even cum! Why? Because my first poke with gf is done on the back seat of my car ( that car a Toyota Corona have long being sold off, got a lot of good memory & sentimental value to me ) park on a isolated country road!

Gf infor me later that she have a painful poosie & some bleeding due to my big ‘bro’ pokeing into her tight poosie & will she get pregnant or not? I assure her that her poosie will heal & I didn’t even inject anything! I didn’t do any pokeing or went out with gf as I don’t really get any enjoyment out of my first poke! Well I do enjoy the bj. Gf on the other hand did get some enjoyment as on my next date with her she is most eager to try & she told me that she is wet when she thought of my first poke into her.

And so on my second pokeing session with gf I give her a good long enjoyable session! Over half an hour of pokeing ( I have a problem of cumming as ‘bro’ is reluctant to shoot. So quic*kie for me is impossible, lucky for gf as once ‘bro’ empty his load second round need some ‘encouragement’ & another long pokeing session ) before I cum inside her.

For those who have their first poke do u still remember ur sexperiance? For those who haven’t poke please do some for*eplay first as it seem that dry poosie is a common problem ( most ladies don’t even know they have this problem ) & a painful first poke is a bad first sexperiance. As for me I am lucky gf have a very wet poosie ( with regular pokeing & sexerise her juice is now clear & not longer thick ). Practice made perfect so gf always look forward to my pokeing session & any dispute or quarrels is also solve through pokeing! As the Chinese have a saying ‘quarrels at bed head problem solve by bed end’.

This is my first poke sexperiance. So my dear reader how is yours? It is a good wan or a ‘stolen’ wan ( from my first kis*s entry a few of my reader say their first kis*s is a stolen kis*s! ) ! Feel free to share & comments ( Oh please my dear reader can you misspell words like se*x, fark, lic*k etc as my dam 'holy' office computer have word restriction in yours comment? Which is why its ban a lot of site including my own site hence so many 'spelling' mistake, I do enjoy & treasure reading all my readers comment. Thank you ) . Have a nice day!

Time.....If Only We Can Turn Back Time

I am sure everyone wish they can turn back the clock & relieved their life once more! And to undone whatever mistake they have done! Me, I am no different! Oh how I wish I could turn back time when I am …………..

A Baby!

Because I wish I could choose to be poke out between the legs of a rich & beautiful lady and the guy who made me is rich………filthy rich! That is I wish I can choose my mummy & daddy! But that fellow up stair ( God ) don’t give me the chance or the option to choose! But I have no complained about my parent! I love my parent I know they work their as*s off to bring me up ( but luckily they didn’t know their ‘good’ son has turn into a ‘hor ny’ ang moh in blog sphere ). Now if parent is rich... Woah!……..my life will be totally different! I get to eat good food, drive sport car & get to poke supermodel or classy ladies! This is of cause beyond my control!

In form one

Why……….because I should pay more attention in my study when I am in form one. Especially on my math I should pay more attention to my math’s teacher! But alas I didn’t because I don’t like my math teacher. In fact during her class I always fall asleep in the back corner of the classroom or I am chatting to the girls who sit next to me ( all my life I study in co ad school ). She teach math like firing machine gun! Slow fellow like me got left behind! Also I didn’t like her because she is a big lady almost 6’ tall big in every sense.( Now at form one my body is just ‘developing’ with my hormone going overdrive at all time ) Wah! Her ‘nen nen’ ( bre*ast ) is the size of a large papaya! So when I am not sleeping in class I am being mesmerize by her giant ‘nen nen’ with the following image…………..

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Scroll some more lah........

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The image is a good wan..

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Nah!!! Seee this is the image in my mind!!!!

See I will suffocated wan by her teaching & her ‘nen nen’! BTW this is just an image running through my mind whenever I look at her ‘nen nen’! Gosh! How can I study my math like this! So until now 1x+1x=11xx or whatsoever….Oh how I wish I have pay more attention to her teaching then her ‘nen nen’!

In form six

I should have pay more attention to school mate sitting next to me! Through out my school life I always sit at the back corner of the classroom ( I am a big guy ) & I always sit next to girls ( somehow they always like to sit next to me as they say they feel secure next to me ). With this sitting arrangement I can sleep if the teacher is an ‘aunty’ type or the lesson bore my as*s off & if the teacher caught me sleeping I can always count on her to warn me & help me out! I should have take out the opportunities & have some pokeing lesson but alas I didn’t! So I have my first poke at an ‘old’ age!

After form six

I should have taken to opportunity to further my study in university! Now I really regard that & I enter the slavery world instead ( working )! So I am a lowly educated! Whatever I poke into sites which is written by highly educated blogger I really have to scratch my ‘hor ny’ head to understand what the heck are they blogging about! And of cause without a degree I am just employed as a lowly employee who have to work his as*s off everyday!

The above is actually a tag by this pretty lady So feel free to do this tag if u want!

Do feel very free to comment. Have a nice day to all my dear reader!

Don't Repaid Kindness With Pokeing!!!

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an old Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left ball."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the string that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right ball tied to bedpost."

This is what happen when u upgraded!!!

An It lady wrote an email to her It friend that is yours truly. Now she wrote in 'It' jargon....

Hi Hor ny,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Yours It gf!

Reply:

Hi It gf,

See what did I tell u, don't simply up grade! Why u lady don't listen wan arr??For example u have a perfectly beautiful hair style yet u got and cut it short when it is long, straighten it when it is wavy vice visa & colour it with goodness know how many colour u can find. Ok! Ok! Sorry arr! Here is my suggestion!

First keep in mind:

U have also up graded urself from Gf version 5.0 to Housewife version 1.0!

To the guy, Gf version 5.0 is an sexiting gaming package! In this game he has to be on constant alert & pay constant attention more so when Gf 5.0 is connected online to other system where any Boyfriend version 5.0 can easily attack & attract to Gf version 5.0. Not only that, some Gf version 5.0 is weak or the attached Bf version 5.0 lost alert or attention, that even Husband 1.0 can poke in. That is why when u r Gf version 5.0 u have all the attention & protection!

Now u have up grade to Housewife version 1.0! U are now part of the operation system call Family 1.0! As the core operating system, u r expected to executed house keeping version 1.0, cooking version 1.0, looking after kids version 1.0. In version 2.0 of Family program u can upgrade have control of housemaid version 1.0 to help to out & increase the overall Family operating system. In addition to all this core program u r also expected to run supporting program like Pokeing 1.0 & Bj 1.0.

As the main operating system of Family 1.0 u must also disable certain extra feature of Housemaid 1.0 which also have to abilities to execute program Pokeing 2.0 & Bj 2.0 which is more advance then ur Pokeing 1.0 & Bj 1.0! Running ur Pokeing 1.0 & Bj 1.0 together with Housemaid Pokeing 2.0 & Bj 2.0 will quicky kill off Husband 1.0 & crash Family 2.0! Kindly take take note that Housemaid 1.0's Pokeing 2.0& Bj 2.0 will run in silent mode! So if u up grade to Family 2.0 kindly choose the corrected attached Housemaid 1.0 with disable function!

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package cum prestore with gf 5.0, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system also cum prestore with housewife 1.0. Which program take control & run the operating system 'Family' depend on how u up grade the bf 5.0 & gf 5.0. In most case housewife 1.0 run the Family program while husband 1.0 run in the background doing back up program call Money 1.0.

Now if u still like ur old program like Jewellery 2.0 & Flower 3.5.....

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 ..

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Drinking 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create noisy Snoring Loudly.wav files. & it will also attracted virus programe like Stray Pokeing 1.0, & even infected Family 1.0 with HIV1.0 or AIDS 1.0 together with Stray Pokeing 1.0!

However there are several powerful program which can almost cause Husband 1.0 to behave & operate like Bf 5.0!

U need to install Pokeing 9.0 or the latest version, BJ 9.0 or latest version plus u can also installed the programe Enhance Physical 5.0 which include Boo*b Re firmer or Increment, Smoother Skin & even Tightening Hole suite! But installing Enhance Physical 5.0 is very expensive & do not always guarantee husband 1.0 to operate like bf 5.0.My suggestion is for u to installed Pokeing 9.0 & BJ 9.0. It is freeware & upgrade can be found in this site !

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. Do not also try to install another Husband 1.0 from other system even though that version u like as each Husband 1.0 is unique to the attached Housewife 1.0!

These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance.

I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9 this program also compliment Pokeing 9.0.

Good Luck,
Hor ny IT Support

The above email answer is the latest version & enchance with the latest fixed:-

Pokeing 9.0

Bj 9.0

Any comment & suggestion from my dear readers is most wellcum & treasured! As my site slogon is:

'Now Everyone Can Poke'!

Have a nice day!

U made me smile award!

Today I get award from this pretty Lady for makeing her smile whenever she poke into my site!

Well I am most happy that my entries can bring smile to my readers! Tq for all my dear reader support! Have a nice day!

Am I su*cker for………

I have a boring Sunday late afternoon! So I went window shopping at a department store in a nearby big town. As usual I am in my shabby t-shirt, short pant & Japanese slipper, having a look see look see….not intention of buying any things ( how to buy any things with an empty wallet ) when the following………..

Lady: Hallo mister! My I have ur attention……….

Hor ny: Yes! What it is……..( yes u have my attention, cute & pretty lady )

Lady: Do u have credit cards! See I am doing promotion for credit card….

Hor ny: Which bank is that?!

Lady: I am doing Alliance Bank Card. Just apply & u can have free gifts! What cards are u having now….I have got classic, gold, platinum, master & visa all got annual fee waiver!

Hor ny: Let me consider first ok!

Lady: Please! Please! Have pity on me! Support me! I have being promoting for the whole day & I have not done any yet! Please mister!

Hor ny: Aiyah! I got so many card already! And payment for alliance bank so difficult for me! I live in a small village only got three banks & alliance is not there!

Lady: No problem wan! U can made payment through interbank giro………

Hor ny: This wan got bank charges wan…..RM2.00 per transaction very expensive for poor guy like me………….

Lady: Please! Support me………look u can just apply then u can have free gifts after that, use just one time & cancel the card…………

I look into her pretty & cute face & her pleading eye………

Hor ny: Ok what is the gifts u got……….

Lady: Oh thank u…..I have got photo frame, perfume, calculators & table lamp!

Hor ny: Ok I want the table lamps ( photo frame no use to me, what photo to put up, all my photo on me r ‘ugly’ one, perfume also no use as gf say I smell manly with my natural smell, calculator I not use but table lamp I can use, like I can attached to bed to have a better view. He! He! ) !

Lady: Here mister what card u want to apply………classic, gold or platinum?

Hor ny: Ok I will apply for platinum…….( He! He! Sure not approve wan )

Lady: Ah!!! I am correct I took one look at u I know u will apply for platinum type………U look like big boss big towkey ( Wah this lady very good in apple polishing! If I look like big boss/towkey them how cum when I am in KL I can’t even attract a single Chinese PRC ) ! I know from the way u walk………ur style ( So do big towkey go around town wearing shabby t-shirt & Japanese slipper? )….So what is ur address…..Blab blab blab…

Hor ny: Ok my address is blab blab blab………..

Lady: Now please can u apply another card from Ambank? U can have another gift?? Can can please………

Hor ny: Well ok lah ( I don’t mind having another table lamp as I don’t like to fight with gf just in case she want the table lamp ) everything is also free arr???

Lady: Oh thank thank u! So how about applying for another card from City Bank?? Please as this card offer higher commission then local bank…….Please support me!!!

Hor ny: Foreign bank I cannot lah! How to pay….Beside I don’t travel oversea…Oh! How many bank card did u do???!!!

Lady: Actually I do 12 banks card! I will be so happy if u apply all the twelve bank!

Hor ny: Wah u do so many kah!

Lady: Please lah! Support me lah!

Hor ny: Aiyah I think I am very good lah to support u with two cards! If I apply for all twelve……..then if all approved then died lah how to use all the card!!! If I cannot pay the bank I think I can sell myself to the bank! But then I am worthless to them!

Lady: Ok lah thank u towkey!

So do u think I am a su*cker for cute or pretty promoter?

Wah laueh! This lady so persuasive wan arr! Now she is literally begging me to apply for credit card! Since she is cute & pretty I support her with two cards! Now what if I apply for all her twelve bank’s card & the gift that I ask is …………..to have a poke with her!!!

Will she say YES! Or do I get a slap in the face!

Three Wishes!!!

This is yet another tag I got from this handsome Jah dou ( I have being actively pokeing into site & blog as my toothache is almost gone. & I end up with three tag, this is the last wan ). Aiyoh this tag so boring wan....so I modified it a bit!

The mighty Genie King and the beautiful Genie Princess, from the magical Land of Faraway have finally escaped the clutches of their Evil Master after being held captive for a 1000 years. With the help of their trusty Genie Buddy, they are now flying away on their Magical Flying Carpet on a quest to redeem their souls for all the wicked deeds they were forced to do by the Evil Master!

I have a very boring evening! Nothing much to do. Can't do my usual sexercise as gf's 'aunty' pay her monthly visit ( to my foreign reader, its meant she is having her period so got blardy poosie ) & nothing to watch on the sport channel as almost every channel show football. So I end up watching animal planet & see if I can learn some new technique on pokeing. And then...........poof!!!! A lady appear in front of me. She has the perfect body shape.....firm nen nen ( bre*ast ) & long shape leg.....one look I am all 'fired' up!

Genie Princess: I am… the Genie! and I’m here to grant you three wishes!

Hor ny:U genie arr?? Wah u so beautiful.... Any wish u grant can cum true kah???

Genie Princess: Yes u r my master for now untill I have grant u three wishes.So please made u wishes now as I have to grant other people their wishes!

Hor ny:He! He! U r so beautiful! Ok my first wish is to poke u can or not!

Genie Princess: I can't grant u this wish as u can't poke me as I don't have solid form! Cum on made u wishes now I can't spend the whole day here!

Hor ny:Ok lah... ( just then the TV animal channel show a wild bull pokeing away ) I want to be as strong as a bull........oh can u also give me a 16 inches pe*nis?

Genie Princess:That is two wishes!

Hor ny:Aiyah I assume u r very powerfull mah..made this into one wish lah afterall related mah!

Genie Princess:What related? Ok just this one......I grant u ur wish!

Poof!!!!

Straight away I feel very very strong but I do feel strange & also another small fellow appear in front of me. A small fellow with a small piano & straight away he started playing the piano. Dam irritating!

Hor ny:What is this fellow doing here???!!!

Genie Princess:This is ur wish!

Hor ny:What!!! I wish for a strong bull & a 16 inches pen*is!!!!

Just then it suddenly drawn on me........A quick look at myself.......OMFG!!!

Hor ny:U turn me into a bull & gave me a 16 inches pianish!!!!!I wan to be strong as a bull with a 16 inches pen*is!!! Wah laueh!!!!! How cum u like that wan arr!!!Quick turn me back!!!

Genie Princess:Ok this will be ur second wish! Ur third & last wish??

Hor ny:I wish for........( I have to be very carefull with my last wish, this genie is either very deaf or my 'ang moh' language not good ) no no I wish that all my wish will cum true ( he! he! with this wish I can do anything I want ). Yes that it is! I wish for an all wish!

Poof!!!!

And suddenly in front of me appear an old witch!!!Wah laueh!!!!!

Hor ny:Wah laued!!!U r a terrible,horrigible & vegetable genie! How cum all my wish is like that wan!! All not use to me!!! Now what am I going to do with this old witch...I can't even poke her sooooooo ugly!!!

Genie Princess:That is what u wish! As for the old witch u can ask her to fly off!

Hor ny: Dam! Shoot shoot old witch....go and fly kite & don't even appear in front of me against!KNNCCB ( first time I use this phase it meant fark ur mummy smelly poosie I think, not too sure myself )!

Genie Princess:KNNCCB???? I have never heard of this phase before! Unfortunately ur three wishes is up. I will be most happy to grant u this wish!!

Hor ny:What! No thank u! And a big KNNCCB to u!

I don't want to poke into a smelly poosie for the rest of my life!

There! This is the end of this tag! So to all my dear reader feel free to do this tag if u like! Have a nice day! And TGIF!!!!!!

Agipujah Tag!

I got tag by this Handsome Guy ! I am will try to answer the following agipujah question!

If I was an opposite gender, what would my party clothes be like?
I am a guy so to answer this question I just pretend I am a lady! Ah..... party clothes I like..... a simple t-shirt with a bit of low cut or I just left all my button open ( I will like to tease all the guy around... ) no br*a as it is uncomfortable, hot & sweaty after all the drinking. & also a short skirt ( as after all this drinking it is easy to empty myself in the toilet, wearing jean so inconvenience, maybe if I want to be 'cooling' also not pan*ty ). See this is what I wear if I am a lady going to party!

At 10am this morning, I was…

I am in the office already settle down to do my daily job in the 'service industry' & of cause at the same time pokeing in all the blog & site I can poke catching up with the latest news!

At 10pm tonight, I will be…

I will be having my daily 'pansai' session then a shave then a long bath when I will wash every crook & canny of my big body clean......to present myself to my gf!

Who should be the next Malaysian Prime Minister?

This wan how to answer arrr?? Aiyah I don't really give a dam! Whoever also can as long as that fellow don't try to made my life more difficult then is already is!

If my spouse told me to do without se*x for a year, I would…

Be crawling up the wall first!!!! Then I will seek help from five sisters ( hand ) & then I will tell her I will be going out with friend to watch life football match ( I hate football ) in my friend house where as in actual fact I will be playing 'ball' & 'bat' with any ladies who fancy me!

If I was a piece of a car, I would be the…

The seat lah! How nice it will be if my owner is a young se*xy lady! She got to sit on me everyday & of cause I got to smell her! But if my owner is a men.....I will not answer this stupid question!!

If I was told one day that I would have to give up either 1) anything chocolate OR 2) ever seeing the beach again, for the rest of my life, which one will I give up?

The beach lah! After all I live in a jungle so not see beach is not big deal to me! But I like chocolate boh! Very nice & lic*ky & can do all lot of kin*ky action with gf!

Singapore is good for…

For all it se*xy ladies! I don't know somehow my impression of Singapore is its ladies.After all Anabelle Chong cum from Singapore ( she use to hold the pokeing record )!

If I could only say 3 words before I die, what would those last words be?

May I have another poke??? I prefer to died pokeing rather then anythings else ( actually I have found the perfect way to end my life if I wish to do so )!

Who would I like to be left on a deserted island with?

This wan not need to guss lah! Of cause with ladies lah! U don't expect me to be left with guys do u?

Die by drowning or by fire?

As mention in the above I will rather died by pokeing!!

What one single thing would you buy with your last RM9.95?

A pack of con*dom! Because with this I might just get to earn some money by offering myself to whoever need my service!

If I opened a night club, what would I call it?

'Club de' Poke'.....That will be the name. Sound Frenchish but I don't know the meaning! He! He! Good or not??

Don’t cheat: what’s “bulbous”?

Bulb??? Or bulb like shape. So can I say my 'bro's' head is "bulbous"?? So to all my ladies reader do u say ur bf's bro head is "bulbous" or just sticky???

I think my as*s is…

Is flat! No the full round type!So far none of my ladies friend remark about my as*s. Other part got lah!

There I answer all the ajipujah question already! So any of my dear reader want to do the tag? Feel very free to do so! Have a nice day & do leave some comment!

Don’t Ever Ask/Tell Me These!

Wah got this tag from this cute lady . She want me to do the following tag!They die die also want me to confess 8 things/questions I dislike to hear from people or else I’ll be cruelly stigmatized !

1.In blog sphere the most asked question is are u really 'Ang Moh'???

Aiyah my 'moh' is no longer 'ang' lah! It is now 'oh'! Couldn't really blame my reader as the only profile pic is an 'orang utan'. Anyway does it really made any different if I am really 'Ang Moh'?? Will my reader increase??

2.Why u so big arr???

That fellow upstairs ( god ) made me a big fellow ( 95.5kg )! What to do, I cannot made myself small. Actually I don't mind being big ( in fact as far as I know most ladies like big guy, give them secure feeling ).

3.How cum ur gf so small wan arr ( when they saw my gf )?

They ask this question while giving me the 'look' ( Yallah! I known ur people are thinking big guy like me surely will crush & flatten my small gf wan ). She is still my gf that meant I haven't crush or flatten her & it also meant she like the big me!

4.Why u dress like this kah? U r in KLCC u know!

This question is asked by my friend whenever they meet me in KLCC & also this sort of question seem to be in people mind when they stare at me in KLCC. U c whenever I am in KL I usually dress in a cheap shabby t-shirt with short pant & I also wear slipper. So of cause I end up in KLCC wearing like this. I always like to dress up like this because I am a poor guy & KL being a dangerous place full of mugger & rap*ies ! I don't want to be muged for RM10 in my pocket or get poked in my backside!

5.Why u don't take verge?

Big guy like me need energy! Lots of energy! So of cause I like meaty food! If I take verge sure very weak wan!

6.Do u know last night so & so kick & the ball enter into so & so net? U know or not?

Hallo! Hallo! I don't know & I don't give a dam! Not all guy are interested in football! I just happen to know nuts about football ( to me a silly game, just a bunch of guys chasing & kicking a ball all over the place ), luckily world cup cum every 4 years ( whenever world cup cum I have a very boring time as TV only show football ).

7.Oh! U r a Christine ( as I got 'Ang Moh' name in my IC )! How cum didn't see u go to church?

I go to church or stay home pokeing away is my own private business. Why people when they get to know I have a 'Ang Moh' name & a Christine that I must go to church? To me anywhere can pray mah! Last time I go to church to look at chick only mah!

8.Hallo! I have a free insurance coverage for u.................bala bala bala! May I have ur credit card no??

No sir ! I am not interested! Beside all my credit card fully use up! In fact I got late payment remainder! So cannot take up ur offer! Have a nice day!

Finally finished this tag! Anyone feel free to do this tag?

Have a nice day my dear reader!

Love Award!!!

Wah I just got the above award from Hot mama !!!! Thank you so much! I am most happy that I can spread love thought my entries! I think my 'pokeing' entries can consider as love. He! He! Have a nice day to all my dear reader!

First Time...........U kis*s!

Do u still remember……….?

How do u feel?
How was it?
When was it?
Where was it?
With whom?

I suppose this is one of the moment in life which most ( only a rare few don’t get to experience it because somehow they couldn’t find their kis*sing partner )of us have to go through sooner or later.

How do u feel?

For me I am very nerves when I have my first kis*s. Actually I am trembling when I first kis*s the lady. It is my first time. And yes it is not like in the movie, it is also the first time for the lady! So we end up almost like ‘biting’ each other! Our teeth keep on knocking into each other. Of cause before I do the kis*sing I clean my teeth ( even floss it ) & also apply a mouthful of freshener but I suppose the lady didn’t, as I do smell a bit of bad breath! For the first minutes we were ‘biting’ & knocking our teeth but after that we quickly get the technique right.

How was it?

To me kis*sing is actually no much of a big deal ( it is the possibilities of what that follow interested me……….pokeing ). The novelties of kis*sing shake off very quickly ( which is different from pokeing…….it never fail to sexited me ) for me. However it does not meant I don’t like kis*sing.

When was it?

It happen to me a long long time ago when I am already in my twenties. Of cause nowadays some guys are much more lucky then me as they get to do it when they are still schooling ( me being a ‘goody’ guy miss several opportunities when still schooling. Dam I should take up the chances then ) as this is an ‘open’ era with free flow of information through the net of cause.

Where was it?

In my first car on a lonely stretch of road! Me & this lady is on rocky & shaky relationship & I suppose kis*sing at that moment of time just seem to be the right thing to do.

With whom?

With gf lah ( surely u don’t expect me to kis*s a guy do u? )! But it will be most interesting if u can share experience if u do kis*s ur own kind accidently or purposely !

So to all my dear readers do u still remember ur first kis*s?

First Time...........An Introduction

There is always a first time in every things we do in our life. Things we have to do or go through in our life as baby to boy/girl to a young/lady to men/women to being a father/mother and if we are lucky to being a grandfather/grandmother.

So what are the major things we have to go through in life? Do u still remember ur first time? So what first time is most memorable or major to u?

He! He! I am sure my dear regular reader will guess what my next post will be! Be my gust & all my reader are most wellcum to comment on what u like me to post up on this topic ..........My first time!

That is all for the time being ( I will be off-line for the next two day ). Do feel free to comment! Have a nice day!

Mosquitoes Netting Replacement.....

It has being a long time since I post up DIY entry! I meant real DIY not this type of DIY ( which is most enjoyable. Poke in & have a look. He! He! )!

This is my house front door. It is 'protected' by an aluminium grill with integrated mosquitoes netting. The original netting is made of fibre, grey in colour. However it doesn't last. So I have it changed to wire netting & hope that it last longer. Yes it did last longer but because my my dam cat it just last for about 2 years. So with all the cat's tear on it I have to change it.

First u got to remove the aluminium grills. It is not difficult just remove 12 screws only ( it depends on how it is being fitted but it is more or less the same ) inside the grills. U can also just remove & replace the mosquito net without taking down the grills but u need a chair to do it & more troublesome to do. So I prefer to take down the grills & change the net on the floor. As u can see from the pic the net got a few tear, a big wan near the lock. I have being wanting to change the mosquito net for quite sometime but always have not time for it. Cum night time I get poke by a few hundred mosquitoes ( so I can forget about pokeing in the living room )!

The mosquito net is secured to the grills by a rubber tubing. Just pull out the rubber tubing & the old net will cum out! Next line up the new net ( I bought the whole roll as it is cheaper & u can use it to replace all netting ) then u slowly poke in the rubber tubing. I just poke in just deep enough to secure the net to the grills in all direction, only then I poke in fully the rubber tubing while I can also 'adjust' the net so that it is tight in all direction. I use a flat headed screwdriver to poke in the rubber tubing.As shown in the pic below I only cut off the excess net when I have secure the net to the grills.

After changing the mosquito net I just fitted back the aluminium grill. By doing DIY I did save a lot as mosquito net cost Rm1.50 per square feet if change by the pro, so a 8x10 feet's will cost u Rm120, but the whole roll of nets only cost me RM90 ( & also I can change a lot of mosquito net with the exces ).

How To Made Ur 'Pokeing' More Sexited...Conclusion

In this modern stressful environment where we are living today, we have hardly any time left to enjoy life. Everyday we have to work our as*s off just to enjoy & have a 'basic' quality of life. By this I meant we can earn enough to have decent food & maybe with some leftover to buy a house & a car ( but this is quite hard if u live in big cities where the cost of just a simple house will cost u a bomb, owing a car is no different as the operating cost will easily took up 20% of what u earn ). So it is not surprise by the end of the day we are all stress out so how to enjoy life?

One the basic enjoyment of life is eating ( I do have great pleasure in enjoying my food ) & the other enjoyment is 'pokeing'. This I got to enjoy when I am fully mature ( actually over mature as I only do pokeing activities when I am in my twenties already working ) as I still belong to the 'traditional' class or should I just say I am shy to try it out as a student ( there are chance presented but I didn't took it up ). Having a stressful life meant the first enjoyment in life u forgo is ur pokeing ( this is very true for married couple as reality set in, love don't feed an empty stomach ).

So I do hope my entries on 'How To Made Ur 'Pokeing' More Sexited... ' will be of some help to my dear readers & made their life more enjoyable. In fact a good poke does save many broken family. The Chinese have a saying 'fight at the bed head all forgotten at bed end'. Its meant a couple may quarrel at day but by night after pokeing all problem will be solved.

The following is a summary of all the part on the above topic. Feel free to comment.

How To Made Ur 'Pokeing' More Sexited...Part 1 It is sort of an introduction on pokeing sexitment.

How To Made Ur 'Pokeing' More Sexited...Part 2 It is a detail entry on where to do pokeing in our house.

How To Made Ur 'Pokeing' More Sexited...Part 3 It is about pokeing outside one home, in the office & also in the great out door.

How To Made Ur 'Pokeing' More Sexited...Part 4 It is about pokeing in a car.

How To Made Ur 'Pokeing' More Sexited...Part 5 It is about time, pokeing time & pokeing timing.

How To Made Ur 'Pokeing' More Sexited...Part 6<> It is about preparation prior to pokeing activities.

Happy reading my dear reader & hope u get stim*ulated!!!

Am I on ‘heat’…………..?

After being 'poke' by the dentist, my teeth is still painful affecting my daily life. I can’t really eat with my normal style ( I normal wolf down a plate of noodle under 5 minutes, so when out dateing with gf I normally finished my food first ), now I eat like an ‘ah pek’ making sure that I only use my left side of my mouth ( any accidental usage of that tooth will result in agonizing pain )! Now I can only eat ‘soft’ food like mince meat or any food I can shallow.

My tooth ach show strange symptom:- it send stab of pain to my head it it has contact with hot food or cold food! But when it is in this painful stage I just let have contact with cold water………the pain disappear instantly ( so to control this pain I have goodness know how many mouthful of cold water)! Another way to control this pain is to pop in a panadol & put it on the painful tooth ( so I am now suc*king panadol like u suc*k sweet )! The pain will go away after half-hour time.

My gf say it could be because I am on ‘heat’ & that this heat just choose my tooth as an outlet ( actually before this painful toothache I do have ulcer on my tongue but it disappear after a few days )! So to ‘cool’ me down she ask me to eat ‘cooling’ food, like ‘rojak’ ( a type of local fruits & verge salad ) & drink a cooling herbal drink ( this made my po*ol green ) & I even have peal drink.

Now if I am really on ‘heat’ why did it choose my tooth as an ‘outlet’. My ‘bro’ is ever ready to shoot what need to be shoot! As for now with an aching tooth sending stab of pain to my head I am feeling very low ( sometime I do think of pulling out the offending tooth but if I did so I will really eat like an ‘ah pek’) & due to this I am now also having fever!

With this sort of condition, all my usual ‘activities’ is suspended until I am solve my toothache. So do u think I am on ‘heat’? If that is so then it is an ironic that being on ‘heat’ just made me go banana & ‘heatless’!

Sorry to my dear reader as this last few post is not so ‘funny’ & not much ‘pokeing’ post!

I Get Poked Against.......

The pain is unbearable ( this is peanuts compare to what is to cum ). The only things on my mind is how to stop this throbbing toothache! I have the sensation that half of my head is in pain! In order to lesser the pain a little I end up slapping my face myself, it is still painful ( my work mate think I have gone bonkers slapping myself )! So I went to the dentist!

Hor ny:Doc in or not? ( with my face all screw up in pain, I just croak to the receptionist )

Recp: Doc in there, u can go in now! ( she look bemuse at me, I am sure she think big guy also cannot stand toothache meh? )

Doc:Cum let me have a look.........which tooth?

I point at that offending tooth. The doc examine it ( I can feel him scrapping & pokeing at it ) at the same time asking me painful or not?

Doc:R u sure this is the tooth? It look ok, the filling ( this tooth has being re enforce will filling back in my school day ) is still intact!

Hor ny:This is the tooth ( I mumble with a mouthful of his dentist equipment still in my mouth ).

Doc:Hemmm.......( then he sort of bang the tooth bottom part & I sort of jerk up my body with pain ) Ah I know what is the problem! It is very likely that ur tooth is cracked!

Hor ny:Cracked?? Can repaired or not?

Doc:Outwardly it appear to be perfect! I am afraid it is cracking from downward up from the tooth roots! What we can do it to pull out this tooth!

Hor ny:How about the filling done long time already ( I want to save this tooth, if toothless I don't want to eat banana & shallow 'oyster' for the rest of my life )! Maybe u can kill the nerve to the tooth???

Doc:The filling look OK. As for 'killing' the tooth nerve it depend on the tooth condition. If it is cracking up it cannot be done. But at this moment I think the crack is a tiny & it is on the tooth root.

Hor ny:I think I will give the filling a refilling. Can or not?

Doc:We can give a try but I can't guarantee ur toothache will go away.

Then all he*ll broke lose when the drilling started ( he have to remove the old filling ). The sound of the drill.........the vibration.........and the pain...........oh the pain is unimaginable ( having hor ny thought don't work this time, I try but no 'hor ny' thought plus the fact that the assist dentist look very unpokeable )!

Doc:Just relax........just relax.

How can I relax! The pain is just terrible! I am all tense up, my hand grip the chair tightly! And the dam assist dentist just look on with a bemused face.........I have thought of gripping her a*ss instead of the chair........see if she can still look bemused or no!

It is over in a few minutes time. This is the longest minutes I ever felt! True as what the dentist say my tooth feel no better! In fact it feel worse, more painful then before! But the dentist assure me it will go away in a few days time! If not then I will have to visit him against.

I more or less stagger out of the clinic with a spinning head & a throbbing toothache! So I just must have my ciggy! It feel better after the ciggy! Total cost for a tooth filling is RM30-00! 'Wah so cheap arr' say my stuff this morning! Did the dentist give u an injection before he do the drilling? 'No' I say!!!! NO wander it is painful as..........I just can't describe it. Dam the dentist! He should give me a pain killing injection first. I can afford to pay for it!

A few week ago I got poked by doctor & now I get poked by a dentist! Perhaps it is time for me to poke some luck! BTW what number to buy arr? As I am not good choosing number to buy in 4-D, 6-D or what so ever.

What do u do if u have tooth ach????!!!!!!

I am in pain........very painful. I think I can stand pain....... but tooth ache pain is totally different! The pain is on & off. Once it is on........Wah laueh!!!! Hard to described wan! I can't talk properly & with my face sc*rew up I look like either I am eating a very sour plum or I look like I am going to cum!

I hardly sleep last night. Actually I got to bed around 1.30am ( after I poke into a few blog which is restricted by my 'holy' office computer ) but I didn't really sleep, just toss & turn! By 2.30 am the pain is just terrible! I go looking around for my small torchlight, found it & poke it into my mouth to find which dam tooth giving me all the pain! It is the big chewing tooth ( sorry I don't know what to call that tooth, it is the big wan ) so I dig around it with tooth pick & also 'rock' it with my finger.....it did lesser the pain a bit. But I can't spend the whole night doing this digging & rocking as tomorrow ( that is today ) is a working day! Went to bed still can't sleep! Now I do know one sure way how to go to sleep! Works every time!

It is emergency time........time for me to do some pokeing sexercise ( for those who don't know, it meant Fcuking ) ! Wake up my sleeping 'bro' actually whack it up! Do some intense pokeing ( gf is not too happy to know that I do pokeing because I can't sleep because I have toothache, why lady only take pokeing as a sign of love, as a form of exercise cannot meh? ). After that I fall asleep due to tiredness, toothache or not toothache ( it is around 3.45am )!

So with very little sleep & with a very painful toothache I go to work looking totally sc*rew up & like a zombie! Ahhhhhh!! So painful! I think I have to visit the dreaded dentist!

Half of my salary gone…………..!!!

Unless u r very rich it is not advisable to have more then one gf ( u r expected to spend & spend like no tommorrow )! In my case I do have three gf ! Thus it is no surprise until now I am still very poor! One gf is whom I share everything with ( including pokeing ) so she sort of ‘own’ me while the other two gf is own by me ( Do I sound like a pi*mp here? ).

What are my other two gf? Both are Japanese. One is pretty, delicate & reliable. I can count on her to ‘perform’. The other is big, rugged, a bit temperamental ( I must know how to give in to her need & ‘service’ her ), classy ( well she use to be classy but no longer now as she has aged ) & she can do what my other Japanese gf can’t! The first of my Japanese gf is a Nissan Santra N16 and the second is a Mitsubishi Pajero 2.8 or Shogun as it is known.

The Pajero is the one giving me trouble. It is her air-con! It is suppose to blow out cool air but instead it blow out hot air ( the heater is not on, if fact it is not even connected ). I happen to be rather cold resistant ( since I am a big guy, beside if it get too cold I can always wear more cloths ) but I can’t stand the heat ( I am totally in-active when I get heated up. I have being on ‘heat’ lately whenever I drive my Pajero to work ).

Normally a car air-con is not cool if :-

1.the air-con gas is gone or not enough ( due to gas leakages, depend on where the leakage is the problem can be fixed inexpensively )

2.the air-con cooling fin is dirty ( so it is no longer efficient, just took out the cooling fins & clean it, not expensive but time consuming )

3.the air-con compressor is faulty ( have to buy a new compressor very expensive, in fact the most expensive component of a car air-con system )

4.the air-con control unit is faulty ( rather expensive, problem is finding parts or circuits but it is very rare to have this problem )

5.the air-con heat radiator ( located in front of the Pajero cooling radiator in the engine bay ) is blocked ( with dirt or cracked hence gas leakage, expensive as a Pagero has two air-con heat radiators one big & one small )

6.the air-con heat radiator’s fan is not working ( not too expensive a Pajero has two air-con radiator fans one big & one small, but it is time consuming to change them ) .

As the most common problem is dirty air-con cooling fins I agree to have it cleaned. A lot of work in taking apart the air-con cooling fins as my Pajero has dual air-con.

The Pajero front air-con is located just behind the glove compartment. The white box thing.

While the hind air-con is located inside the right ( driver side ) back panel.

The front air-con cooling fins inside the white air-con box. See it is very dirty with death insect stuck inside.

The hind air-con cooling fins, also very dirty, not death insect is found but got hairs ( I wander how the hairs got suc*k into there? ).

It is discovered that the front air-con cooling fin is leaking gas ( the second most expensive component of a car air-con system ) & because the leak is inside the cooling fin it can’t be sealed by aluminum welding. See the new & the old. Pajero air-con cooling fins ( Denso brand ) is the ‘bee hives’ type double layers with dense cooling fins. Dam expensive, cost me RM450-00 ( half of my salary gone ). And to keep the cooling fins clean & prevent insect from getting in I seal up the air-con outside air intake ( it is always advisable to close the outside air intake as insect will always end up in the cooling fin including dust & dirt ). With the new cooling fin installed the Pajero air-con's performance is now very cooling.

Inside temp is at 34C ( late afternoon, see I go to work inside an oven, arrive at office with my ‘ball’ half-cooked! How to drive & work like this ) before air-con is switch on.

Inside temp at 25C after half hour with air-con on at full blast! The temp will drop to 21C in two hours, at night it will drop to 19C! Very good performance! Money well spend ( but I have to forgo a few other ‘activities’ )!

Nightmare On Hor ny Street!

Gf: Hor ny! Look a surprise....................... for u!

I took one look at her & almost fainted! My gf show me her budging tummy!

Gf: I am three months with ur baby!

At this point I worked up! Thank god it is only a nightmare! It just happen to be an early morning dream ( according to grandma tale, this sort of dream might just cum true also if u tell people this dream it might just not cum true, so I put it up here so that a few hundred will know so not cum true ).Definitely the opposite of this Dream !

Don’t get me wrong! I am not against having baby or kids of my own ( as the result of my pokeing of cause, not due to pokeing by other, there have being a few case of other people ‘helping’ out in the pokeing ) but I like to plan things out not due to accident ( yes even all my pokeing are well most of it anyway are planned ).

Now if my gf is really pregnant I will have to made just two decisions, to have or not to have! Probably to have as a life is involve here ( every baby must have a chance to live, I have being watching too many discovery documentary ). But if my decision is not to have ( as it is unplanned & financially not ready, yes u roughly need at least Rm10K ) then I will have to ask my gf to eat a lot of this!

And this

Yes Pineapple! According to grandma tale eating a lot of pineapple will induce apportion ( I don’t know true or not ).

Anyway I have being having pineapple this last few day as it will also reduce my cholesterol ( according to gf so she ask me to eat a lot of it, so much so that my ‘product’ in the toilet is ‘pineapplenise’ ) so maybe it is she who need to eat all this pineapple!

Oh yes! Her ‘aunty’ is late against this month! Do I have to face this Nightmare against ( I forget to wear safety bag against, twice this month )? Why arr? I suppose the saying that ‘A lady is never on time’ could be true as even her ‘aunty’ is never on time wan ( late by a few day is understand but by a few week? )!