Backside Pokeing/Farking! VVVIP Sodomy!

Apparently a vvvvip is doing backside pokeing ( That is pokeing ass hole! ) against! It is in all the newspaper & a good number of blogger as well! Beginning of this year there is another vvvvip doing pokeing ( But he did poke in the correct hole except he poke the wrong ladies hole! ) so I am most surprise there is another case of vvvip pokeing!

Anyway this fellow is known to like to poke backside hole or whatever the newspaper like us to believed in. What is surprising is what the poke do we have to care about what hole he like to poke in! As long as he can do what he is suppose to do then that is it then!

Anyway I have never try backside pokeing before on a lady that is ( Gf don’t allow me! Say her ass hole is full of shit & might even spoil my 'didi'! ). The idea or image of two guys pokeing each other backside is a bit too much for me! The idea or image of two guy sucking each other ‘didi’ in position 69 is terrible ( Strangely I don’t feel very disgusting if two ladies is to lick each other poosie! I find that very ‘stimulating’ & even sexy! )! I am after all a straight guy!

An ass hole is supposed to pass out shit! Not for ur pokeing enjoyment! I heard from my friend that to poke into an ass hole u will need to lubricate it before u can poke ur ‘didi’ in! And it is much tighter then the poosie u pokes into! And so it is much more enjoyable! This is what my friend told me!

Anyway, it is enjoyable to poke each other ass hole? I heard that a guy g-spot is in a guy ass hole ( Why for god sake a guy g-spot is in the ass hole? ) so a guy will get to enjoy ultimate pokeing enjoyment when he has his ass hole poked!

No! I am not going to try pokeing into a guy backside! On a lady……No problem!

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend ( Women like to talk their heart out to a 'friend'! )

2. a companion ( Especially on Shopping Expedition! )

3. a lover ( Both mentally & physically more about this below! )

4. a brother ( Women can talk more freely to their brother! NOT UR 'BROTHER'! )

5. a father ( She need a fatherly figure when she is sick & down! )

6. a master ( She like to throw all her worrys & problems 2 u 2 be solved! )

7. a chef ( She want to have good foods! Quantity is no important! Quality is! )

8. an electrician ( When her hair dryer exploded u r expected to repaired it! )

9. a carpenter ( When her make-up chair broke u r expected to repaired it ASAP )

10. a plumber ( When the pipe broke while she shampoo....u know lah...)

11. a mechanic ( U don't expected her to change the wheel do u? )

12. a decorator ( U r to help her to arrange table flower! )

13. a stylist ( Agree to all her hair style by nodding ur head off! )

14. a sexologist ( For more detail see below! )

15. a gynecologist ( Don't Poke when her 'aunty' cum! )

16. a psychologist ( She is always korrect! Korrect! Korrect! )

17. a pest exterminator ( Get rid off all the rats, cockroaches etc...!)

18. a psychiatrist ( Have to know how to perform emergency 'relieved' for her! )

19. a healer ( Same a above! )

20. a good listener ( This is a 'skill' all men must learn! A lady got two 'mouth'!! )

21. an organizer ( Learn to tidy up room after pokeing session! )

22. a good father ( Take care of the kids! It is due to ur pokeing! )

23. very clean ( Wash ur 'didi' very very clean! Or else......No Pokeing & BJ! )

24. sympathetic ( Learn to say 'Oh! Sayang! Sayang! )

25. athletic ( How to have long pokeing session if u r weak? )

26. warm ( All ladies like a 'hot' didi'! )

27. attentive ( She is ur women! So u lost all ur freedom! )

28. gallant ( Try to get urself raped when a rapist threaten her! )

29. intelligent ( Try to act like a clever dim wick! )

30. funny ( Laugh at all her dull joke! )

31. creative ( Don't always poke in the same position! See below for detail! )
32. tender ( Don't poke strongly all the time! )
33. strong ( Try to have a 'strong didi' for 45' at least! )
34. understanding ( No pokeing when her 'aunty' cum! )
35. tolerant ( Try not to faint when she use up all ur CC limit! )
36. prudent ( Always approve all her spending! Women know best! Remember! )
37. ambitious ( Aim to be a manager when u r really an office boy! )
38. capable ( Try to change the light when u know nuts about electricity! )
39. courageous ( Don't cry & eat when she cook u a plate of chilies! )
40. determined ( Don't be scare of her killer dog when u visit her! )

41. true ( For heaven sake tell her u r a 'virgin' when really u r a pro-poker! )

42. dependable ( Gave her unlimited $$$$$! )

43. passionate ( See below for more detail! )

44. compassionate ( Try to cry loudly when ur in-law pass away! )

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly ( Honey U R Very Sexy! )
46. love shopping ( Very important! All guy must learn! )
47. be honest ( All her shopping r a great 'bargain'!!! )
48. be very rich ( The more beautiful the lady the richer u have to be! )
49. not stress her out ( No pokeing when her 'aunty' cum! )
50. not look at other girls ( Look at ur women only! )

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

From a true case with my gf when I forget her b-day, our ‘pokeing’ anniversaries ( Sometime too tired from working so also too tired to poke loh! ), mess up her bedroom arrangement……….I end up sleeping in the living room!

And even if u do all the above but U R A LOUSY POKER ( FARKER ) ur women will still not be happy! For more detail on how to make a women real happy do poke in my ‘horny entry’ ( Pokeing lessons part 1 to 6! Oh these entries are strictly 18xx not suitable for ‘innocent’ ladies & kids! )!

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

The rest we men will ‘do’ it ourself to make us happy ( He! He! We just need a little 'help' from the lady! )! See! So simple to make a men happy!

Horny In High Court!

Mention ‘High Court’ to anyone..........the first things people has in mind is ‘WTF! U r in big shit!’( I am very sure that is what my readers think by the title of this post! )! Am I in trouble because ‘I have being looking at ‘ladies’ leg? Am I being sued by some ladies just because I have being looking at their sexy & hot leg? Well luckily not, I will be in deep shit if these sexy ladies sue me inside out & upside down!

I happen to go to M’sia high court as my friend has some high court ‘businesses’ to settle. Me being a country side pumpkin just tag along & have a visit to bolehland high court ( I am sure it is a sort of privilege as how many of my dear readers really have a chance visit to 'bolehland' high court! )!

As shown by the pic ( Sorry if the quality is poor as I use my lousy N95 handporn camera! ) M’sia High Court is a very impressive & imposing building ( I am very sure this is where part of my hard earn money as taxes gone to! )! I get to go inside to one of the counter following my friend but unfortunately the counter was closed ( Fri closed by 12.00pm ) so no choice but to look see look see. And what do I find? A bank inside the high court! Maybank! I am very sure to settle bail, summon or to pay 'kopi-O' money & whatsoever will not be a problem!

Walking around look see look see made me very tight ‘down there’! So I have to answer my ‘didi’ natural call urgently! As shown by the pic M’sia High Court toilet not bad! Quite classy like those in a 5 star hotel but unfortunately no toilet paper ( Dam! How to clean my 'didi'? )!

Well that is my first visit to M’sia High Court where I made a ‘deposit’ ( He! He! )& I hope it will be my first & my last visit! High court is not a place u visit & so don’t play play!

Horny's Maths!

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Horny fellow + horny woman = Lotsa of pokeing = Lotsa of Nightmare & maybe 'forced' marriage!!!

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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Horny boss + horny employee = Lotsa of pokeing & no job done ( all done by other dumb employee! )

Horny boss + dumb employee = Free pokeing & job get done

Horny boss + smart employee = No pokeing & have to watch out for court summon!

Smart boss + horny employee = Free pokeing & still have to do jobs

Dumb boss + horny employee = Increase in salary & done litter job

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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

A horny fellow will try to get is all for free by pokeing!

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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A horny fellow greatest worry is when he is not horny!

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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

To be a happy horny fellow he just need pokeing!

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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do,

but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Horny men will live be young forever as long as they can poke & be horny!

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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A horny fellow don't change as long as he is horny!

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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

All argument will be settle through pokeing for a horny fellow!

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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Horny's answer is 'Petrol price up! Every things is up! But 'didi' no up! So how to get married!'

Wrong Hole Poked/Farked! Still OK!!! But...........

Any one who do pokeing ( fu*cking ) will know that u do poke into the wrong ‘hole’ sometime either by mistake or on purpose! This is very true if u happen to poke for the first time ( virgin )! In fact finding the ‘hole’ is a problem! On my first poke I need gf to ‘guide’ my ‘bro’ where to poke his big head in!

In the sexitment of intense pokeing I do poke in the wrong hole to be protested by gf! This is no problem & no harm done!

My regular reader will know I have this huge humongous toothache problem last year! I thought I have solve the problem but no my toothache is back! I have a very miserable life! So it is back to the dentist. This time is to solve this toothache once & for all. I will have it pull out!

First the dentist injected me with something in my mouth! Dam painful! After that half of my face gone numb! Then he uses a big plier & took out my big tooth! Wah! I am dam happy as I no longer feel the toothache as my face is still numb!

Reach home! Have a rest! About 2 hours later I took out my blood soaked gauge in my mouth & have a look into my mouth!

I nearly fainted from what I saw!

That fu*cking, terrible, horrible & vegetable dentist have pulled the WRONG tooth! It is my good big molar! No wander he use a freaking big plier! With the pain killer wearing off I can now feel both toothache & pain from the newly pulled tooth!

Dam! It is back to the dentist! I want to sue him inside out & upside down! And I also want to poke all his assistances. Yes! All the three of them even if they are not my type! I am hopping mad! I am rising my voice to sky high! He ask me to wait while he do some things in his office! By now other customers ask me what is the matter! Of cause I say that fu*cking pull out my wrong tooth! Woah! The expression on all their face is awesome! All the five customers left the clinic in record time! I am sure the damage to reputation of the dentist is done!

His reason? He tries to ‘save’ my tooth which is also a molar by pulling out the inner most molar! He says both teeth will be giving me problem! What sort of freaking reasons is that!

I have no choice by to pull out the molar which is giving me hell! And it hurt like hell! It is so painful that I cry & scream! Luckily I am the only customer! Me! A very big & macho guy! What will people say if they know I cry & scream on the dentist chair? I have a sneaky feeling the dentist purposely only injected a bit of pain killer only. It is so painful that two dentist assistances have to hold me down while he pulls out the tooth! I got tears in my eye! Heck! I almost also pee in my pant! It is that painful! No wander it is one of the technique use in interrogation !

Here! Have a look at my two molar! In fact the dentist says my teeth are perfect! My toothache is cost by my swelling gum!

It has being six hours since that ordeal! Half of my face is in pain but I can bear it! It is different from toothache! From today onward my life will change forever! My eating habit will change! No longer can I eat at record time! No longer can I eat my food like ‘gentlemen’ style! I will be eating using only my left side! My right side is now useless with both lower big teeth gone. So how to chew? For this few day I will be eating soft food! Yes! Food like ‘tofu’ ( bean curd )! Oh! Well, it is back to eating gf’s ‘tofu’!

To all my dear readers! What will u do? NOW WHAT WILL U DO IF THE ABOVE HAPPEN TO U???!!!

Cry? Jump up & down? Behave like a baboon on heat? Curse until the cow cum home? Scream ur head off?...............Well I do all the above! So how about u???

The above happen on the 13-02-08! The day when our Monkey/Baboon Parliament is dissolved ( Maybe the farking dentist is so sexited about the news that he pull my wrong tooth! OMG he might even pull out all the teeth in my mouth! )! Until now I miss using my right side of my mouth. Should I use false teeth ( But I heard that with false tooth u can't even eat banana, I am afraid that when I eat my gf 'oyster' that I might left my false teeth inside her?!!! )?

Excuse! Excuse! & Horny Excuse!

This is Malaysia ( Bolehland ) and you should know -

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:

Ajinomoto ( Actually for me I will blame it on being too worry! Money no enough so everyday worry! )

NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD :

Maggi Mee ( This I agree! In fact this is the only food I can cook! )

NATIONAL BREAKFAST :

Nasi Lemak ( Applicable to the west only! Over here it is 'kampua'! )

NATIONAL LUNCH :

Nasi Ayam ( Applicable to the west only! Over here it is also 'kampua'! Well to me anyway! )

NATIONAL SUPPER :

Roti Canai & Teh Tarik ( Applicable to the west only! Over here it is nasi campur! )

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:

Traffic Jam ( Nowaday I will say bike broke down! Chase by big dog! No thank to fuel price increment! )

NATIONAL CONDOM:

None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye. ( This I agree! Gf say use 'rubber' don't feel nice! Beside this I only buy my 'rubber' from my regular doctor! She know the type that I like! )

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION :

Pineapple ( This wan I try before! Gf eat a few big pineapple but where got effect? )

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:

Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything... ( This I don't know as I don't like Stout! Bitter drink! How could guy drink such drink? )

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):

Food Poisoning ( I normally say got headache! So how to work like this! )

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):

Menstrual Pain ( All the ladies use this reasons! So at month-end sure got a few missing ladies! )

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:

Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch 'Santa Barbara ', depress, no mood, etc... ( Gf normal excuse is 'aunty' is cumming! But she seldom refuse my pokeing! )

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:

None. Malaysian men never refuse sex. ( I agree with this totally! )

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :

Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are all 'dried up'. ( So far have not try! )

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:

Panadol. The 'cure for all'. If it fails we have another secret weapon - Tiger Balm. ( This I did try & it work! )

NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA :

Moh Fah Kor. ( This I haven't try as I use 'Panadol' which most of us call 'KK' pill! )

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:

Minyak Angin Cap Kapak. ( I use this also! )

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):

Happy Hours. ( Too expensive! Beside the only 'happy hour' I know is pokeing! )

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):

The sight of a police road block. ( This I don't know, but I do check on my seat belt at once! )

NATIONAL RICE COOKER :

NATIONAL Rice Cooker ( Very true! )

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:

Anywhere. As long as it is not your house. ( He! He! Very true! )

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:

Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! ( So that is how it is pronounced! )

So to my dear readers, do u agree to the above?

Suck Dry By Two ‘Girl Friends’!!!

For most guy having a gf is consider a blessing! As for me………I have two gf! So I supposed u can consider that a godsend! Having a gf meant u got to have good time together, if she got ‘problem’ it is ur duty as a good bf to solve all her problems. In returned u get to enjoyed her companionship. Oh yes! U also get to POKE her! And that is the ultimate goal of every guy ( Cum on! Be honest guy! That is ur goal! Correct!? Correct!? Correct!? ) !

Well! I am a very ‘lucky’ guy! I have got two gf! I have quite proud to have two gf actually! Poor guy like me can afforded to have two gf! I took real good care of my two gf! Everyday I poke into each of their hole & give it a good twist! A few times a day! Yes they do like me to poke into their hole everyday! If I didn’t they will give me trouble & it will cause me to more trouble to please them ( I did try not to poke them for one week & in returned one of my gf refused to bring me out & I have to spend some monies to ask her out! Dam! My gf really need constant attention! )!

In most case having two gf is not a difficult jobs, it is the ‘maintenance’ part which is troublesome! Thus I am quite happy having two gf . One big & one small! Both got different character!

But all this change after listening to the news! PETROL price increase to RM2.70 & DIESEL price increase to RM2.58!!!! What the fark! Bolehland is an oil producing land! Why compared to non-producing countries? Why not compared to Brunei? How about the profit earned by the national oil company? Where did the money go? Dam! All this increased in fuel price will cause everything to go up! I am very sure condom price will go up by RM1.00 with immediate effect ( Transport changes increased mah! So did the price of rubber also! )!

Dam! Dam! Dam! Everything will go up! Fuel price increased! Fuel price increased! Increased! Increased! Everything increased! Excepts my salary! So how to survive?

Oh! U must be wandering what the fark has the increase in petrol & diesel price got to do with my two gf? He! He! I forgot to mention my two gf in this case are my two cars! A big ass 4X4 2.8cc diesel Mitsubishi Pajero & a small 1.6cc petrol Nissan Sentra! One full tank of diesel for Pajero will cost me RM237.36 & one full tank petrol for Sentra will cost me RM105.00 from now on!!!! I suppose I have to abandon my two gf!

See! Died or not? I will be suck dry by my two gf! Fuel increased! KNNCCB! Life will be very very toughs from now on! Perhaps I shall use bicycle to go to work!

Nice legs! Hot Legs! Going A-Ga Ga!

Recently I have to be in Kuala Lumpur because ‘My Boss fark/Fcuk Me Strong Strong’ & ‘And Now I FarkMy Boss Back.....Literally’ & while in KL I went to do some ‘windows shopping’! Not actual shopping is being done as my pocket is quite empty.

My friends took me to some shopping mall & left me alone there while he went off to do some businesses. Apparently ‘windows shopping’ is the favorite pass time of the west. I must say it is a good way to spend one free time as there are so many big mega shopping malls.

So many things to see but in my case, can see only, not monies to buy! So after look see look see at all the interesting stuffs I got bored! Can see but cannot buy all no use to me!

So I shifted me attention to ‘chick’ watching! Whoa! I must say KL ladies really know how to dress! Dress to KILL! Hot pants & minis skirts seem to be the favorite dress code for KL ladies! No wander got so many ‘force pokeing’ ( rape ) cases in KL!

From my ‘chick’ watching session I notice one fact! Most KL ladies got very very nice & hot legs! In a few cases I though the ladies are wearing socking but upon closer ‘inspection’ they are not wearing socking! Whoa! They have really slim & long smooth legs! Not like where I cum from, the ladies over here got big & ‘hairy’ legs!

Now I really have an eye full of all sort of nice & hot legs while waiting for my friends to pick me up ( I have no choice but to wait for my friends as I don’t feel safe using taxis. ). Since the shopping mall closed at 10.00 pm I have no choice but to wait for my friend at the entrance by squatting on the entrance stair! He! He! Of cause in squatting position I got to see lots of nice legs view!

Oh! It is not my intention to squat down but my legs gave up on me as I have being wandering for a few hours. But I must say some ladies seem to enjoy showing off theirs hot legs. Yes! I notice some ladies do know that I am attracted to their legs ( Some look back at me cheekily! ). Especially those who waited for their bf at the shopping mall entrance, their bf is sure lucky!

Can see & image only. What to do, KL ladies sure got nice & hot legs! So to all my dear lady readers, how do u made yours legs slim, smooth & fair? Care to teach me some tricks so that I teach that to my gf too???

So ‘Dry’! How To Fark?

Can a ‘dry’ hole be farked? YES! I am sure that is what some ‘hamsuplou’ ( horny fellow ) say! But trust me as a ‘fellow’ with some ‘sexperiance’, it is dam painful & not enjoyable! Unless ur ‘bro’ have a ‘blocked head’! So to do pokeing into a ‘dry’ pussy…..u needs ‘lubricant’!

The weather is very very hot lately! It has not rain for more the two weeks! So very very very DRY!!! So very very hot & dry that I don’t feel like pokeing at all! In fact in this sort of hot & dry weather I even feel that my gf pussy is also hot & dry ( Ok! Ok! There is nothing wrong with her pussy! Still hot & wet! It is just the farking hot weather! )! BTW I wander how do desert people do pokeing? So hot & sandy some more!

The weather is so hot that immediately after bath I am all wet with sweat against! In fact this few days I have being sleeping with nothing on! Gf have a nice time ‘playing’ with my ‘bro’ every night! But as I say, the weather is so hot that my ‘bro’ is ‘half-death’ in the hot weather! So how to do pokeing?

So to my dear readers, do u do pokeing in this hot weather? He! He! Looking at the title I am sure some of u thinks how to poke into a ‘dry’ hole! Well maybe I will blog on this subject later! In the meantime I hope for ‘wet’ weather soon! I am all ‘dry’ up now!

And Now I Fark My Boss Back…..Literally!!!

A continuation from Part 1…………….

I knock on the 5 star hotel room no.3278 where my boss stays at 9.00pm sharp. I am very nervous, just two hours ago I get all the bombs, missile and so on from her. I am getting myself ready for some more ‘bashing’ from her. Aiyoh! It is terrible, horrible & vegetable to work under such a boss!

‘Cum in’………( He! He! Sound like ‘cum in’ to me! )! The room is dimly lighted & I can see my boss lying on the bed reading my report using the bed’s lamp. I went over to her.

‘Horny! Ur report sucks! How am I supposed to recommend u?’

‘Just give me another chance………I am willing to do anythings!’

‘Any things?’ She whispered into my ear! Whoa! I now notice she is dress in a very sexy lingerie sort of night dress!

‘Yes!’ I say breathlessly while I slide my hand into her dress & cup & fondle her B-size breast! Yes! She is not wearing anything underneath! Dam! She look real hot in the dim light ( In actual case she is so so in look but she did have a hot body! A very ‘hot’ MILF! )!

Then while I kiss her she fondle my bulging ‘bro’………that did it! I am out of my pant & whatever I have in not time! And in one swift move I have her in all her naked glory!

I spread out her leg & buried my face between them! Geee!!! She is rather bushy down there ( But not that bad like Cecilia Chung’s! ) so I still get a mouthful of her ‘bushes’ before I can use my tongue to lick & probe inside her very wet & hot lips!

She moan & grasp my hot & throbbing ‘bro’ with her soft hand & then she give me a good bj ( No wander she ask me to have a bath first! )! Yes! Position 69 with her on top & then it is me on top! After that I ram my big & hot ‘equipment’ into her wet & willing pussy! Faster & faster I bang into her! She is moaning & grasping the bed sheets tightly & then she cross her leg behind my back tightly!

Then I give her a good doggy banging! She is real wet & I bang in & out of her like a well oiled engine piston! Yes! I am imaging myself as Michael Shoemarker driving a Ferrari! Except I am ‘driving’ a Ferrari on bed! Gosh! She can really moan when I bang her doggy style ( This style enable deep pokeing, but most tiring for the guy! ) !

After that it is back to the ‘traditional’ style ( Not so tiring! ) & I continue my banging! Sometime fast & furious & then slowly but strongly……….This go on for sometime until my handporn suddenly rang!

OMG! It is gf calling! OMG I forgot to ‘report’ back! Straight away my pokeing performance slow down! I must answer the dam handporn! And I had to do pokeing at the same time as I can’t pull myself out! Not with my boss’s leg wrapped to my back!

‘Huhhh! Darling! How r u now? Ehhhhhh! I am very fine over here! Good night & go to bed ok! Don’t worry about me!’ I grasp all that out in one breath!

‘R u really ok???!!! U sound very tired…….AND WHAT IS THAT MOANING NOISE!’

‘Oh! That wan arrrr??? Aiyah TV lah!!!! Bye I will call u back later! Muah! Muah! Muah!’ And I quickly switch off the phone!

And with some finale banging I exploded inside my boss! Yes! I can see that she really enjoyed my pokeing!

‘U r really a terrible & horrible bugger laying to ur gf! But then u r a very good lover!’

‘What to do? U r my boss! So may I have my salary increments?’

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Sight…………..If only asking for salary increments is that easy! Just bang ur boss & give her a very nice & enjoyable pokeing!

This is just another one of my many ‘horny’ & wishful day dreaming! I still have to work my ass off & perform to get my salary increment which until today still haven’t cum yet!

My Horny Computer Get ‘Raped’!!!

To all my dear readers I am sorry that there have not being much ‘activities’ in this site as my ‘horny’ computer is being ‘raped’ ( No! No! It is not being ‘raped’ by gf! My regular readers will know that I post up all sort of juicy ‘happening’ i.e. pokeing activities in this site under ‘horny’ labels! And all drafts copies are in my computer so I am very afraid that my gf will discover that her goody bf is really ‘horny ang moh’ & that will really piss her off! Thank goodness that doesn’t happen! )!

What really happen is one moment my computer is working nicely & I do my usual proper shut down, on the next started up I discovered I can’t poke into internet using Fire fox! It keeps on showing a message ‘I DNT HATE FIREFOX! USE IE EXPLORES DUDE!’ Dam! I always use fire fox ( That is why I got a fire fox down load button by the side of this site so that all my readers can get free download of this great program! ) as it is so much faster as compare to IE! In this case I have no choice but force to use IE! Aiyoh! Even though IE can be use but it is so slow like a snail!

That is not all I discovered that my movie watching program got no respond! Wah laued! Not only pokeing into internet very slow now I cannot even see my favorite pokeing movie ( bluish movie ) for ‘inspiration’!!!

This is bad! So no choice but to format my HDD & do a clean installation on my ‘horny’ computer ( BTW I always refer to my home computer as ‘horny’ computer as I can poke into any site I want! Not like my office ‘holy’ computer which restrict so many nice site! )! Since I format my HDD all my ‘nice’ pic & movie collection is gone! Puff! Just like that! GONE! Dam! Anyway to prevent this from happening? I do keep my anti virus up to date! So I spend the whole of last night pokeing my computer ( No pokeing last night as by the time I got to bed it is already 3.30am & gf is sleeping like a dead log! )!

To my dear readers, do u think my computer is being infested/rape by a computer viruses? Or worse still get hacked ( I do hope this is not the case as I got a lots of 'nice' collection inside )?!!!

Horny First Five Minutes!

What time do u start work? 6.30am..........So early!!! Yes for teacher that is how early! But for most of us I am sure it is between 8.00am to 9.00am & some lucky fellows get to start work at 9.30am! Well for me I started work at 8.30am every morning Monday to Friday on the dot! Unless I overslept then I cum to work a bit late ( He! He! If I overslept very late then I pay a visit to my usual doctor to get MC! This is rare as I got a very big ass alarm clock to wake me up! )!

Now what do u do in the first 5 minutes of ur working time? I am very sure some of u switch on the workstation & do some reading on the newspaper. As for ladies I am very sure most of u will be in front of the mirror to do some touch-up on ur make-up & of cause gosipping on whatever u did or so & so did last night!

Me! What did I do in the first 5 minutes of my working hours? The first things I did is I rush to the company's toilet & do my stuff ( Peeing lah! What do u expect? )! 8.30am in the morning is still early & my 'bro' is still in 'active/standing mode' as it still full of pee ( I have to 'deflate' my 'bro'! )! Beside this I want to be the first to use the toilet for the day ( Toilet clean & no smell wan! )!

Now while I am having my pee I might as well have a puff also! As mention before, most ladies will be doing 'touch-up' in front of a mirror & my company have a very big mirror just by the toilet, so I get to 'overheard' what all this ladies do last night! He! He! Beside this I always pee very loudly!!! So what will those ladies imaging about urs truly in the toilet? 'Pee so loud arrr??? Big equipment?' This is what I hope they imaging!

So to all my dear readers, what do u do in the first 5 minutes of ur working hours?

Some more some more...........This is not the end of this post!

This post is actually my entry to this great contest by Fuelmyblog ! The prizes is an 80Gb iPod classic or a 8 Gb iPod Nano ! So to all my dear readers what r u waiting for? No a member? Just joint lah! It is free wan! Oh this fantastic prizes is sponsored by TSheets.com ! Yes! U can also try their programs! It is free of charge too!

So to all my dear readers, this post good? U get to know what I did every morning & now u get to try have some free stuff some more!

My Boss Fark/Fcuk Me Strong Strong!!!

As the head of a sale unit in a big organization I have to attend ‘sale convention’ every year. This ‘sale convention’ is normally held in a 5 star Hotel convention hall & of cause I get to stay in this hotel too! In this ‘sale convention’ which is attended by all sale units thought out the whole country, all the sale units head is supposed to learn new tricks in sales & yet more products & of cause to know the organization’s policies & aims.

In actual case, in my opinion I have to attended such ‘sale convention’ to have my ‘hor ny’ brain ‘washes’ with new ideas to pushes for sales & yet more sales! And also in all this ‘sale convention’ will be included ‘motivation’ course which is suppose to motivate the head of sale unite so that the head will be so ‘motivated’ that he will go back home to ‘motivated’ his sale stuff also.

Oh yes! I am most ‘motivated’ during the ‘motivating’ course but to me ( My hor ny opinion! ) the real ‘motivation’ for me is MONEY! Yes! For MONEY I will get all the sale u want! But if I get ‘peanut’ for all my sale effort then I will give u ‘peanut’ sale! And that is my big problem!

Apart from this, the last ‘program’ of the ‘sale convention’ is have a ‘meet the boss’ session! By boss I meant the organization owner/president/ceo/Tan Sri & whatsoever whereby he/she will present award for the best sale unit! After this we get to present our annual sale report to our real boss the sale department head! This I consider is the real purpose of having ‘sale convention’!

Yes! I consider her my boss as my salary, salary increment & whatsoever is base on her recommendations to human resource department! If I do well in the sale I will get my salary increments or else I will be in very deep shit or worse still get transfer to work in ‘Abu Dhabi’( No such luck lah! I don’t mind working oversea! The real case is, I will be transfer to work in KL with a RM2,000-00 salary! This is a polite way to say u r fired! )!!!

In my organization those who do well get to sit in front ( So whatever this fellow suggest will get the boss attention! ) whereas those to do badly get to sit in the back ( I don’t really mind sitting at the back as some ‘meeting’ is so boring that I fall asleep! ) and thus I found myself sitting right at the very back & in fact there are no one behind me! Sigh………….!!!! I better get myself ready for all the incumming bomb, missile & maybe a few pens or even a chairs throw at me by the sale Boss!

And so the reports began by each & every sale heads! He or she will report the sale figures & also how he/she did the sale & how or what he/she will do or plan to do to further improve the sale figures………….Blad blad blad & yada yada yada………this go on & on & on…………. Since I am the last it is almost 6.30 pm before I have my turn to submit my sale performers ( In the meant time I fall asleep! )!

I did all that I can to secure sale & more sales but compare to other I just happen to be the last & so on & so froths………..blah blah blah………yada yada yada & more yada yada ………..( In fact I give her 1,001 reasons why I am the last! )!!!

After this it is her turn to ‘fires’ me! Wah laued!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is……….Her mouth is so…. So…. So…… like a big canon! She is like firing canon balls at me & some more also got bombs & missiles cumming out of her mouth! So of cause all my 1,001 reasons all got shot to pieces!

‘U r one of the tops sale performer 3 years ago! What the happen to u!!!!???’ ( Yes! Three years ago I am a top gun! I sit right next to the big Boss! But for all my sale efforts I get pay by ‘peanuts’ which to me is not really worth the efforts! In fact I almost have to ‘sell’ myself to ‘secure’ sale! But I can’t tell her this unless I want to be in ‘Holland’!!! ) Blah blah blah…………. She ‘fired’ me some more!

Then the phone rang! Phew!!! Save by the phone! It is now almost 7.00pm! Meeting ended! Everybody lets off a sight of relieved & hurried out of the convention hall like scared rabbits!

‘Hor ny! U stay behind!’ WTF! Wah lauehhhhhhhhhhhh!!! She is not finished with me yet! By now I am alone with she & she look at her watch…………….

‘Tell me do u still want to work as sale head?

‘Yes! Mdm! I do! Please give me a chance! I will do any things!’

‘Meet me in my room at 9.00pm as this convention hall will be use for other function! I am not thought with u yet! I shall then evaluated my recommendation on yours sale performance! Oh! Have a bath before u meet me! U r sweating like a pig!’

‘Yes! Mdm! Tq very much for giving me a chance!’

Dam! I am in very deep shit! What shall I do? With no salary increment or worse still what if she deducts my salary? What if she decided to transfer me to KL ( Where it is a very dangerous & very expensive place to work! )!

To be continued…………..

To all my dear readers what should I do????

Updated..............And this is what HAPPEN!!!!!

Big 'Nen Nen' ( Breast ) In Front Of U!!!

What do u do? When u see a lady with big ‘nen nen’? Me? I am a ‘good boy’, I just follow her to the bank & I quay up behind her as I just want to check up my saving account ( I will not be doing THIS to a lady when I 'kaypot' ie busybody a bit ).

I can see that she want to deposit some monies & besides putting her monies on the counter she also ‘put’ her pair of big ‘nen nen’ on the counter too!!! It just happen that the bank counter is about the same high of her big ‘nen nen’ so of cause it look like she put her big ‘nen nen’ on the counter too! She is wearing a low cut some more!

Me? I can see all that as I am just standing behind her! I can see that she is watching over her money being counted while the poor bank teller has a hard time counting her money!

If u r that teller what will u do? Well I have being in that situation before too. I have work as a teller before & I remember one client very well………..Actually I only remember the sight of her big ‘nen nen’!!! Size D I think! She have a very smooth & fair ‘nen nen’ & some more got a few blood vein also! I remember having a ‘hard’ time counting her monies!

So to all my big ‘nen nen’ lady readers………..do u ‘put’ ur ‘nen nen’ on the cash counter too??? If u did that u might just cause ‘trouble’ & give the poor teller a ‘hard’ time!

Horny Healthy Tips!!!

Health - Important Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear ( Problem is I always use my right ear! Left is normally 'boxed' by gf! )

Do not drink coffee TWICE a day ( Problem is I drink more then that! Drinking coffee before Pokeing is good! )

Do not take pills with COOL water ( I always take pill with warm water )

Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm ( Depend on the food I am having! Good food eat more! )

Reduce the amount of TEA you consume ( I have tea everyday! It just happen to be the cheapest drink! )

Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume ( This is quite hard! Deep fried chicken wings & french fries is irresistible! )

Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night ( If I drink more water in the morning then I will spend the whole morning peeing! )

Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS ( My handporn charger is far away from me! )

Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time ( Poor fellow like me handporn also no earphone. )

Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning ( How to sleep so early! Pokeing only started at midnight & lasted until 1.30 am! )

Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping ( After taking medicine already half dead so of cause cashed down to bed! )

When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times ( Too busy talking to notice! )

Well I do hope the above is useful to my dear readers!

U Have To Be A Pro-Poker ( Farker )!

A man is driving down the road and have a flat tyre near a 'Service House' ( Pokeing service that is ). He goes to the house, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?

The 'mamak in charge' is more then happy to accept him as he show her his gold credit card, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. She also ask him if he want to have some 'service' which he declined as he is very tired! So he choose a nice room & tries to sleep! As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard, wonderful moaning sound! The next morning, he asks the 'mamak' who make the sound, but she say,

I can't tell you. You're not a pro-poker!

The man is disappointed but thanks her anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same house.

The mamak again more then happy accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the mamak reply,

I can't tell you. You're not a pro-poker!

The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a pro-poker, how do I become a pro-poker?

She reply, you must travel the earth and tell me how many types of poosies there are and the exact number of poosies u have poked. When you find these numbers, you will become a pro-poker.

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the 'service house'. He says, I have traveled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are so many different types of poosie from white to black color & in between got reddish & yellowish types! I can't tell u how many type of poosies I have poked but I can tell u that all this pokeing have made me think of nothings but pokeing in my mind & my life!

The mamak reply, Congratulations! Whoa! U do all that? And now you are a pro-poker!

I shall now show you the way to the sound.The mamak lead the man to a wooden door, where she says, the sound is behind that door.

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key?

She give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man requests the key to the stone door.

She give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from her, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...

...silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the she say, This is the key to the last door

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight.

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. . . But I can't tell you who it is because YOU are not a pro-poker!

DON'T SWEAR AT ME;

I'M STILL HUNTING FOR THE IDIOT WHO SENT THIS TO ME!

( This is not the original version! For the original version poke in HERE! )

I Need Recharging & Relaxing!!!

I am not a machine! I am just a simple fellow made of flesh & bone! After working like a dog or in most case working my ass off just to have a decent life...........I feel dead tired at the end of the day! By weekend I am just too tired just to think about work!

Yes! Recharged! I need to recharged myself before I can pull myself to work! Relax! That is what I must do! But how to relax! Go fishing? Nah!!!! To boring! Beside I don't want to give lots of mosquitoes free meal! Watch movie? But I only watch sexiting movie! So how to relax?

So for more unusual idea on how to relax I go pokeing into internet! He! He! I am a 'hor ny' fellow & I find sensual massage Toronto most unusual! Oh yes! Haveing a very good message is a most relaxing! Now this is not a normal massage! It is a sexy massage in Toronto ! Message is done by very hot ladies! Whoa! Have a look at all the hot ladies! He! He! I even get to choose which one I want to massage me! That is special! For something better & extra I can even go for adult massages & have VIP treatment! Two birds with one stone! My body get messageg while my 'bro' get a work out! All this is done in discretion and a friendly environment! Not! I don't have to worry about cop! It is fully licensed!

Yes! This is my way of relaxing! This shall be the place for me! If I am in Toronto!

Bu*tt Crack & 'Run Light' ( Accidental Exposure )!!!

Jean with low cut is very popular nowadays. Young & fashion trendy ladies love to wear this low cut jean. I suppose it made them look se*xy. Well to me yes, it does made them look se*xy if the ladies have long legs & slim in profile!

But the problem is when the ladies sat down! It expose their bu*tt crack! And also exposed the color of their pan*ty! But is some case I only got to see bu*tt crack but didn't see any pan*ty! I wander why? The lady not wearing any pan*ty or super low pan*ty? If she wear g-string then at least I can see the string. But in this few cases I only see bu*tt crack ( To my ladies readers can tell me if got such super low cut pan*ty? )!

Nice view if the lady have nice bu*tt! But some bu*tt really not nice to see as I can even see pimples on the bu*tt! I am sure all this ladies are aware of the short cumming wearing low cut jean! Because almost all the ladies try their best to pull up the jean! Only a few ladies didn't do that & this are the few ladies with really 'hot' body! I am sure this ladies are aware of the 'disturbances' they are causing & are enjoying every moment of it!

What happen when a lady wear ultra short skirt? She will be the cause of all sort of accident! More often then not wearing ultra short skirt ladies have hot body shape! Dam! How many car slow down to take a closer look when the driver see such a lady walking along a street? More so if the driver just saw the lady hind view! He will slow the car really slow just so that he can see how such a lady will look like in front! That will be the cause of his car being 'kiss' by the car following behind too closely! What a big disappointment if the lady turn out to be so so only! He! He! In most case that is true as she might look very 'hot' from behind only!!!

What happen when ladies wearing ultra short skirt sat down, spread open her leg a litter bit or cross her legs??? If she sat down in a office she will be a big disturbances to the office working environment ( not applicable in office full of ladies )! Every guy will be sitting down staring or try their best not to stare or pretend not to stare! Some guy have to sat down longer as their 'bro' have already stand up! That is why a secretary can have the boss under her control! Try to image a secretary wearing ultra short skirt, office jacket, two top most blouse button unbuttoned & wearing socking some more, seating on the boss table edge! I am very sure the boss will give in to her 'demand' & 'advice' ( not applicable for lady boss or boss who is interested in guy )!

What happen when ladies wearing ultra short skirt sat down & have a drink or have her food in a eating place? This is what happen ! While waiting for her food she open & cross her legs all the time ( Yes! Some ladies do have such habit! ), what will u do?! Not only that, I even saw a lady cross her legs yoga style while chit-chatting with her friends in a cafe! He! He! Luckily she is wearing short pant! If she is wearing skirt that will be a major 'running light' ( exposure )!

It is not my policy to go looking for 'running light' but sometime when such sight is done within ur sight what do u do? As a 100% normal guy I have no choice but look! I have learn my lesson in ' I can see ur nice 'nen nen' ' !!! See & enjoy the 'show' but keep ur big mouth shut! If gf is with u do it without her knowledge ( U will get boxed by her if she caught u staring at other ladies! ).

To my dear lady readers, do u do the above & enjoy all the attention u get? For the guy, what do u do if u saw the above?

I Can Poke Against! I Am Free From Lock-Up!!!

Do u know how it feel like to be in a lock up?! In a small & windowless room 5' X 5' where u can do nothings except do everything in ur head! U will go nuts in no time! The feeling is terrible, horrible & vegetable! This I can guarantee u!

This is exactly how I feel when this site got lock-up by 'blogger spam robot' ( Don't ask me how this 'robot' look like as I know nuts about all this. In fact I also know nuts about 'spam blog' so to prevent this I got word verification on. ) ! I want to post but cannot publish! This is driving me nuts! To me it is the same as want to poke but cannot poke ( It is somethings like a se*xy lady offer herself in front of u but ur 'bro' is still 'sleeping'! So how to poke???!!! Fingers pokeing is different from 'bro' pokeing! ).

Most frustrating for me! In fact so frustrating that I go & post this entry & this entry and set up a new site ( Comical Hor ny Thought Of Comical 'Hor ny Ang Moh' ) as the previous post is me being sick, with not entry posted up, my readers might thought that I have died!

Ok! Now I got two 'house' ( sites )! What shall I do with two house? If I got two gf I will know what to do ( He! He! I will poke on alternate days! )! Well all my 'hor*ny' post will be in this site while I will keep my other site 'clean' ( To the best of my abilities of cause. )!

Whoa! It certainly feel nice to be back in 'action'! Wellcum to all my readers! Have a very nice day!

Fcuk!!! I Can’t Poke!!!

Me & my big idea of posting up this entry ( In this entry I can’t poke/fcuk because of…. Well u can poke in to the entry why I can’t poke! ) now the real thing happens! I can’t poke nomore!

Last night I try my best to poke! I simply can’t! Even before I can poke in, I have to chase! Yes I have to do some chasing! No! My ‘bro’ is no chasing after gf’s poosie! I am actually chasing after my nose! I have a very bad attack of ‘running’ nose! My nose run at warp speed that very soon I finished the whole roll of toilet paper & my dust bin is fill up with toilet paper!

So how to poke in this condition??? It sure will be super ‘yucky’ with my nose ‘running’ all over gf nakel body ( strangely it don’t look yucky if I shoot all my ‘bullet’ on gf’s body )! I gave up the idea all together & spend a very miserable night hardly sleeping at all as I am 'chasing' my running nose!

Cum morning I practically bang on my doctors door at 8.00am sharp! I let her exams me with my nose seal up with toilet paper stuck up on each hole! I am having fever & my BP is going sky high 90/160! I have also a very sore throat ( I can forget eating gf ‘oyster’ for now! ) I ask her to give me the strongest pill available & also get MC for today!

I need the MC as I am in no condition to provide ‘service’ to my client! Yesterday evening I can still sound like ‘Brad Pitt’ but right now I started to sound like ‘Duffy Duck’!!! So how to ‘service’ my client??? Beside after taking all the pills I am guaranteed to go to ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZ!!!!

Oh! While I am typing out this post I have playing in the background my favorite ‘nice’ ( pornish ) movie with sound effect on! Ye it is ‘Oh! Oh! Oh! & Ah! Ah! Ah! Some more! Some more! While I am posting up this entry!

And I check on my ‘bro’ condition! Nothing! Totally nothing! He is ‘sleeping’ like a ‘good boy’!!! I even whack my ‘bro’s’ head!!! Totally hopeless! This cumfirm it! I can’t poke no more!!!

I hope this is just because I am very sick & not permanent ( If I really can’t poke any more then this site have to be shut down! )! I suppose ‘Sickly Can’t Fcuk!’ is right after all! So can any of my reader poke even when sick???